05 October 2004

the grass is always greener on the sliver side of the cloud...

or whatever. like anyone ever believes that crap, anyway. seriously. i know i've been negative nelly lately, but i'm just not in the mood to be positive polly at the moment. no, right now, i think i'd like to be get-it-done gloria. yeah, that's it.

what am i getting done you might ask? well, i'll be perfectly honest i'm trying like hell to get it all done. it's time to clean house, people. and i'm not talking about getting rid of old sweaters. i'm talking about a serious attitude adjustment, some good introspection being had, some good work on myself and my relationships. i think it's about getting rid of the bullshit, to be blunt. and you know what? it's exciting.

i've been thinking about strategic planning for my job alot lately. some of that is self-preservation, and some of that is about ending the professional funk i seem to be stuck in, and some of that is about really coming up with a well-articulated vision/mission that people can invest in and be excited by. it's a daunting task, to tell the truth. and it's risky. risky because it will seem to some that i'm calling some people to task for not doing the same kind of planning. it's risky because it's a new thing for this place, and new things are always risky. but it's time to do it, nonetheless. best case scenario: it works, it's contagious, and things get better. worst case scenario: the whole thing implodes and sucks, and then i get fired for being too smart for my own good, or looking like a subverter. either way, there will be change. change i can deal with. but mediocrity and status quo are pretty much making me want to throw up on an hourly basis, to be perfectly honest.

and as far as that goes, the strategic plan is extending itself into my life. granted, it's not the same plan as the work one. shocked, aren't you? i know i was...

no, the life plan is different. and it's not about being unflexible. it's about calling myself into account. when i was 20, there were about 9 million things i wanted to do when i grew up. well, i am up. and i've done some of those things. and other of those things, i have let grow very far away, for no good reason other than that i was being lazy or fatalistic about them. and it's time to reconnect with those things. it's time to make a list of goals, simple though they may be, and just start doing them. no one is keeping me from them but myself. and i can do something about that. everyday.

thanks for listening to the existential rant...

life is good. the seasons are changing...

mil besos--rachel


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