i was in starbucks the other day, staring blankly into the goodie counter, knowing full well i wasn't going to get anything in it, and trying like hell to decide what i wanted in the way of caffineated goodness. i knew i was two people away from being served. the first option that jumped into my head was "vodka tonic with lime". i knew i was in trouble. and all this was after the trip to the gym with all the grunting and gratuitous nudity.
this week has been a little better. monday was even a day off. it was nice. momma took me to home depot to look at paint samples. she also bought be some sandpaper and lunch. it was kind of nice to have her all to myself for a whole afternoon.
tuesday has come to be my least favorite day of the week. i hate that. i was born on a tuesday, so i've always had a kind of affinity for it. lately, it's been like monday, but with more attitude and sleep deficit behind it. tuesdays are the hangover of mondays. yeck. and since today is my last day this week in the office, it's like a giant crazy friday, with a fight to the finish.
my brain feels all jelly-fied like my legs did last night when i finished biking and swimming. no matter how hard i try and psych myself up, the eliptical machine scares me. i'm afraid i'm going to fall off. it's bizarre, i know. it was fairly amazing. my endurance is creeping higher and higher, and i am suddenly amazed at how much better i feel, and how much better i am sleeping at night. granted, i don't sleep as much as i'd like to, but that's my own fault. if i could convince God to put 36 hours into a day, i'd be so stoked. i could get so much stuff done. and still have time to goof off. and take a nap.
i'm off to corpus to save the world through yet another marathon weekend meeting. woo-hoo.
mil besos--rmg
21 February 2007
15 February 2007
geeze, louise...
the best part about valentine's day 2007 (which i lovingly refer to as "the ides of february", as i cast scornful glances at any and everything to do with being happy, except for those of you i know and love, of course) is that it was the day before pay day. yipee. i'm about to make my second mortgage payment. i can actually feel the home equity building. it's fairly amazing.
this week has been interesting. everyone on staff here took a personality sorter, and we spent 5 hours digesting our diagnostics as a group on monday. what can i say about sitting in a room for 5 hours with my co-workers, while we all get emotionally naked, and the phone rings off the hook in the back ground, while i'm just wondering if you can, in fact, o.d. on church coffee...
so, i escaped to the relative safety of the gym. i say relative safety for two reasons-- i can never feel totally safe around that many muscle-bound men in very small shirts, and the fact that a lot of journey and guns-n-roses get blasted over the sound system make it hard to really relax during the work out. let me tell you more... caro and moo will have to forgive me for repeating myself...
so it's monday night, and all i want to do is decompress from being cooped up all day, and i walked into the gym, and i came face to face with a man on the butterfly machine who looked like he was either being scared half to death by invisible imps, or having the most mind-blowing orgasm known to human kind. it was a little disconcerting.
then, while i was sweating like a clydesdale on the exer-bike, which is next to the weight pit, i heard what i imagine a man delivering a baby through his pee-hole might sound like. it was this horrible, very loud, very gutteral, very disturbing series of grunts, followed by some loud muttering that i couldn't quite understand (maybe if the cave-men from the geico commercials had been there, they could have translated for me...), but probably went something like "who's yer daddy now, weight room bitches?"
said ruckus was loud and distracting enough to pull me away from reading the closed captions of the o'reilley factor(which makes me peddle faster, and which i was having to squint to read, since i left my reading glasses at home...who the hell takes their reading glasses with them to the gym, besides me?), which was playing on the big tv in front of the bikes. i expected the sound to be followed by a pool of blood seeping quietly over the floor, the screams of someone being hit in the face by exploding testicles, or the sickening thud of detached arms hitting the plastic mat. instead, the woman riding next to me gave me a raised eye brow, to which i responded (seriously, i can't believe i said this...) "Good God Almighty, what in the world is that all about?" kind of boring, huh? and then, i decided to skip swimming laps because when i got back to the locker room, and older and moderately gigantic woman was just sitting in front of my locker section totally topless, like she had nothing better to do that be topless in front of the entire free world.
the week has pretty much been on par with the monday experience, so in the interest of time and good manners, i'll spare you the rest. but i'm sure your imaginations can run wild...
mil besos--rmg
this week has been interesting. everyone on staff here took a personality sorter, and we spent 5 hours digesting our diagnostics as a group on monday. what can i say about sitting in a room for 5 hours with my co-workers, while we all get emotionally naked, and the phone rings off the hook in the back ground, while i'm just wondering if you can, in fact, o.d. on church coffee...
so, i escaped to the relative safety of the gym. i say relative safety for two reasons-- i can never feel totally safe around that many muscle-bound men in very small shirts, and the fact that a lot of journey and guns-n-roses get blasted over the sound system make it hard to really relax during the work out. let me tell you more... caro and moo will have to forgive me for repeating myself...
so it's monday night, and all i want to do is decompress from being cooped up all day, and i walked into the gym, and i came face to face with a man on the butterfly machine who looked like he was either being scared half to death by invisible imps, or having the most mind-blowing orgasm known to human kind. it was a little disconcerting.
then, while i was sweating like a clydesdale on the exer-bike, which is next to the weight pit, i heard what i imagine a man delivering a baby through his pee-hole might sound like. it was this horrible, very loud, very gutteral, very disturbing series of grunts, followed by some loud muttering that i couldn't quite understand (maybe if the cave-men from the geico commercials had been there, they could have translated for me...), but probably went something like "who's yer daddy now, weight room bitches?"
said ruckus was loud and distracting enough to pull me away from reading the closed captions of the o'reilley factor(which makes me peddle faster, and which i was having to squint to read, since i left my reading glasses at home...who the hell takes their reading glasses with them to the gym, besides me?), which was playing on the big tv in front of the bikes. i expected the sound to be followed by a pool of blood seeping quietly over the floor, the screams of someone being hit in the face by exploding testicles, or the sickening thud of detached arms hitting the plastic mat. instead, the woman riding next to me gave me a raised eye brow, to which i responded (seriously, i can't believe i said this...) "Good God Almighty, what in the world is that all about?" kind of boring, huh? and then, i decided to skip swimming laps because when i got back to the locker room, and older and moderately gigantic woman was just sitting in front of my locker section totally topless, like she had nothing better to do that be topless in front of the entire free world.
the week has pretty much been on par with the monday experience, so in the interest of time and good manners, i'll spare you the rest. but i'm sure your imaginations can run wild...
mil besos--rmg
09 February 2007
recently discovered...
1) i have been identity thieved. i know, it's awful. but the people at the bank were very nice, and i'm getting my money back. with that money, i will be buying a super shredder. let me know if you need any filler for your hampster cages, ok?
2) if given the opportunity to over-react, i may or may not take it. it depends on the day and the situation. this is a huge improvement over the last year. seriously. if you've recently been a victim of my over-reation, do please forgive me.
3) i can sweat under water. i realize this may be too much information, but i was certainly impressed by this new revelation.
4) i can be a hard-ass, when i need to be. case in point--i will kick you out of my office if you ask for rental assistance after y0u've already grifted me once. i will feel bad about the fact that you have kids, and i will be pissed that you brought your two year old in with you to play on my emotions. however, if you would just TELL THE FREAKING TRUTH, use your real name, and no be a butthole to me, we might be able to do business. and if you come in my office again, i will call CPS and the police. you don't scare me. i went to high school with guys way bigger and way scarier than you. as a side bar, God bless that child. sometimes doing what is the right thing feels very bad, indeed.
5) i have the most stellar poker face in history. i wish i could tell you the story about how i learned this, just know that it had to do with a client in the hospital, and some unexpected disclosures. HOLY CRAP. if you want the whole story, do email me. it's fairly amazing.
6) my goodwill is not bottomless. i do have a breaking point, and instead of viewing that as a personality flaw, i'm kind of excited that it's there. i hope i don't get to the point where i have to start firing people from my life because they have exceeded their goodwill points, but it's nice to know that i do have that in me. i know that sounds bizarre. but after getting walked across more times than is strictly necessary, i'm pretty excited that i've made a concerted effort to not let that happen, anymore.
7) dust could care less whether you've finished moving in. it will accumulate and you will have to dust, even though there are still boxes to be unpacked, pictures to hang, and bathrooms to scrub. guess what i'm doing this afternoon...
i think that's a good place to stop...
mil besos--rmg
2) if given the opportunity to over-react, i may or may not take it. it depends on the day and the situation. this is a huge improvement over the last year. seriously. if you've recently been a victim of my over-reation, do please forgive me.
3) i can sweat under water. i realize this may be too much information, but i was certainly impressed by this new revelation.
4) i can be a hard-ass, when i need to be. case in point--i will kick you out of my office if you ask for rental assistance after y0u've already grifted me once. i will feel bad about the fact that you have kids, and i will be pissed that you brought your two year old in with you to play on my emotions. however, if you would just TELL THE FREAKING TRUTH, use your real name, and no be a butthole to me, we might be able to do business. and if you come in my office again, i will call CPS and the police. you don't scare me. i went to high school with guys way bigger and way scarier than you. as a side bar, God bless that child. sometimes doing what is the right thing feels very bad, indeed.
5) i have the most stellar poker face in history. i wish i could tell you the story about how i learned this, just know that it had to do with a client in the hospital, and some unexpected disclosures. HOLY CRAP. if you want the whole story, do email me. it's fairly amazing.
6) my goodwill is not bottomless. i do have a breaking point, and instead of viewing that as a personality flaw, i'm kind of excited that it's there. i hope i don't get to the point where i have to start firing people from my life because they have exceeded their goodwill points, but it's nice to know that i do have that in me. i know that sounds bizarre. but after getting walked across more times than is strictly necessary, i'm pretty excited that i've made a concerted effort to not let that happen, anymore.
7) dust could care less whether you've finished moving in. it will accumulate and you will have to dust, even though there are still boxes to be unpacked, pictures to hang, and bathrooms to scrub. guess what i'm doing this afternoon...
i think that's a good place to stop...
mil besos--rmg
01 February 2007
by the numbers...
i know some of you love these posts...and i shamelessly ripped this idea off from national public radio...and i'm shamelessly posting up one for the masses, yet again.
2--the number of times last week i went to the grocery store, after working out at the gym and looked like i had peed in my pants. i just didn't give a crap.
3--the number of languages i heard at one time in the steam room at my gym. i guess i could also mention that there was a chronic grunter in there the other day, as well. i made my visit a little shorter than i would have liked, because the grunting was totally harshing my endorphin buzz and freaking me out. said grunter was also quite hairy, and grunting in time to his i-pod.
12--the number of pictures i still have left to hang in my apartment because i don't get around to hanging them until about 10:30pm, and don't want to alienate the neighbors.
6--the average number of hours of sleep i've been getting
9--the average number of hours i'd be happy to be getting
10--the number of ass pounds i've lost since embarking upon my 2007 Quest For Self-Empowerment and Improvements
3--the number of pounds of organic greens i consumed in the last 2 weeks. i now officially hate radiccio
20--the average number of text messages i send in one day. it's really hard to do punctuation to my liking on the damn things, though.
17--number of times a day i think "i should just break down and get an i-pod shuffle".
3--number of times a day i plan imaginary vacations with assorted people
1--number of times a week i teach kindergarten chapel at the day school, and have to beg my ovaries to SHUT THE HELL UP BECAUSE WE ARE NOT READY TO HAVE A DATE, MUCH LESS A KID!
4--the number of kitchen implements my nephew carried into the living room of his house last week. his new favorite toy is my sister-in-law's cast iron skillet. he likes it so much that his parents had to hide it from him. he's also learned the word "no". things are about to get interesting with the petite, if you ask me.
11--the number of hours i have spent in the last 7 days in various emergency rooms, hanging out with people who go to my church
4--the number of hours i spent having coffee with sweet little grammies at my church this week. ok, i only had coffee for two of the hours, and water for the other two. i was very grateful the entire time, however, that my mother taught me decent manners.
28--the number of years i have been my mother's child. her birthday is monday. i'm glad she's my mother. happy birthday, mommy.
3.5--the number of hours i planned to work today. HA!
1--the number of adult drinks i could reasonably consume before falling asleep.
peace out,
word up,
mil besos,
rmg
2--the number of times last week i went to the grocery store, after working out at the gym and looked like i had peed in my pants. i just didn't give a crap.
3--the number of languages i heard at one time in the steam room at my gym. i guess i could also mention that there was a chronic grunter in there the other day, as well. i made my visit a little shorter than i would have liked, because the grunting was totally harshing my endorphin buzz and freaking me out. said grunter was also quite hairy, and grunting in time to his i-pod.
12--the number of pictures i still have left to hang in my apartment because i don't get around to hanging them until about 10:30pm, and don't want to alienate the neighbors.
6--the average number of hours of sleep i've been getting
9--the average number of hours i'd be happy to be getting
10--the number of ass pounds i've lost since embarking upon my 2007 Quest For Self-Empowerment and Improvements
3--the number of pounds of organic greens i consumed in the last 2 weeks. i now officially hate radiccio
20--the average number of text messages i send in one day. it's really hard to do punctuation to my liking on the damn things, though.
17--number of times a day i think "i should just break down and get an i-pod shuffle".
3--number of times a day i plan imaginary vacations with assorted people
1--number of times a week i teach kindergarten chapel at the day school, and have to beg my ovaries to SHUT THE HELL UP BECAUSE WE ARE NOT READY TO HAVE A DATE, MUCH LESS A KID!
4--the number of kitchen implements my nephew carried into the living room of his house last week. his new favorite toy is my sister-in-law's cast iron skillet. he likes it so much that his parents had to hide it from him. he's also learned the word "no". things are about to get interesting with the petite, if you ask me.
11--the number of hours i have spent in the last 7 days in various emergency rooms, hanging out with people who go to my church
4--the number of hours i spent having coffee with sweet little grammies at my church this week. ok, i only had coffee for two of the hours, and water for the other two. i was very grateful the entire time, however, that my mother taught me decent manners.
28--the number of years i have been my mother's child. her birthday is monday. i'm glad she's my mother. happy birthday, mommy.
3.5--the number of hours i planned to work today. HA!
1--the number of adult drinks i could reasonably consume before falling asleep.
peace out,
word up,
mil besos,
rmg
on extremes...
"Dear God,
Deliver me to my passion.
Deliver me to my brilliance.
Deliver me to my intelligence.
Deliver me to my depth.
Deliver me to my nobility.
Deliver me to my beauty.
Deliver me to my power to heal.
Deliver me to You."
--marianne williamson
before i read this prayer, i never thought about praying to God to deliver me to the things i was already good at, the things in which i took great pride. i always imagined a more worthy prayer would be the one to deliver me from my efficicacy, my gut reactions, my "best" intentions. but i read this prayer one day, and immediately knew that God made me with those things inside me, setting a steady pulse inside my brain that cannot be ignored. so why not deliver me to the best things inside myself? why not pray for that? why not celebrate that? why be apologetic about any of it? i liked it so much that i printed it out and pasted it into the front of my daily planner.
i've struggled with myself for a long time over my tendancy to find myself in extreme situations. i'll be the first person to admit that i am probably an adrinaline junky. i like being useful in situations. i like being the one to make the assessment and call the shots. i don't just like it. i freaking love it. and most of the time, i'm right on the money, and hit all my marks. but i know that i won't always be right. i know that even when i am right, there are situations that i can't fix. in fact, 99.9% of the situations i run across in my job, i can't fix, not with a check or a prayer, or shared tears. the best i can do is band-aid things, hold some hands, make some calls, and pray that God's grace continues to be big enough to fill in the gaps.
i feel like i'm coming to a point where i don't have to hold back anymore. a point where i can be confident, and speak with some authority, but not be cocky. i'm realizing that a) there's nothing wrong with knowing what to do and b) there's nothing wrong with NOT knowing what to do. the knowledge or ignorance of the decision comes from the same place in my heart, i think. maybe that's the increasing sleep deficit talking, but whatever.
we are products of extremes-- life and death, love and indifference, joy and pain, black/white/shades of gray, peace and fear. i feel like i'm in that mix 24/7. and even though there are days like today where i am tired in my bones, don't want to go work out or meet people for drinks, don't want to be in my office for 48 hours, i wouldn't trade it for anything. i have been delivered into my passion, into my calling, into a life i wanted, but didn't know how to ask for. my cup runneth over, and i am drinking like a bedouin after a long desert journey. thanks be to God.
mil besos--rmg
Deliver me to my passion.
Deliver me to my brilliance.
Deliver me to my intelligence.
Deliver me to my depth.
Deliver me to my nobility.
Deliver me to my beauty.
Deliver me to my power to heal.
Deliver me to You."
--marianne williamson
before i read this prayer, i never thought about praying to God to deliver me to the things i was already good at, the things in which i took great pride. i always imagined a more worthy prayer would be the one to deliver me from my efficicacy, my gut reactions, my "best" intentions. but i read this prayer one day, and immediately knew that God made me with those things inside me, setting a steady pulse inside my brain that cannot be ignored. so why not deliver me to the best things inside myself? why not pray for that? why not celebrate that? why be apologetic about any of it? i liked it so much that i printed it out and pasted it into the front of my daily planner.
i've struggled with myself for a long time over my tendancy to find myself in extreme situations. i'll be the first person to admit that i am probably an adrinaline junky. i like being useful in situations. i like being the one to make the assessment and call the shots. i don't just like it. i freaking love it. and most of the time, i'm right on the money, and hit all my marks. but i know that i won't always be right. i know that even when i am right, there are situations that i can't fix. in fact, 99.9% of the situations i run across in my job, i can't fix, not with a check or a prayer, or shared tears. the best i can do is band-aid things, hold some hands, make some calls, and pray that God's grace continues to be big enough to fill in the gaps.
i feel like i'm coming to a point where i don't have to hold back anymore. a point where i can be confident, and speak with some authority, but not be cocky. i'm realizing that a) there's nothing wrong with knowing what to do and b) there's nothing wrong with NOT knowing what to do. the knowledge or ignorance of the decision comes from the same place in my heart, i think. maybe that's the increasing sleep deficit talking, but whatever.
we are products of extremes-- life and death, love and indifference, joy and pain, black/white/shades of gray, peace and fear. i feel like i'm in that mix 24/7. and even though there are days like today where i am tired in my bones, don't want to go work out or meet people for drinks, don't want to be in my office for 48 hours, i wouldn't trade it for anything. i have been delivered into my passion, into my calling, into a life i wanted, but didn't know how to ask for. my cup runneth over, and i am drinking like a bedouin after a long desert journey. thanks be to God.
mil besos--rmg
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