30 November 2004

phoenix-- an existential musing

you know, the phoenix is an interesting symbol. for those of you who aren't familiar with the legend of the phoenix, here's a great link to catch up--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix . i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm totally on board with that right now. i'm wondering which parts of my life are the ashes from which something new will be born, which parts of my life are the nest, and which parts of my life are the left-overs that will be embalmed and bourne away.

i have a lot of questions. and in my pursuit of answers, i am asking a lot of my nearest and dearest, what on the surface seems like random and goofy, questions. most of them center around me. i know, i know, i need to get over myself. and in order to do that, i (get ready, holy crap, this is the kind of thing i only say once in a blue moon) need your help.

so, in no particular order, here are some questions you can answer, if you choose. you may hit comment on the bottom of this post, or you may respond to me by email: rachiepoo78@yahoo.com.

1) if you could choose one job for me to do for the next four years of my life, what would it be?
***seminary is not an option to be used at this time. period***

2) if you could choose one job that i should never do, not in a million years, what would it be?

3) if you could choose one city for me to live in for the next four years of my life, where would it be?

ok, this is scientific, so be honest. i'll post results and other things soon.

mil besos-rachel

18 November 2004

back east

i've been in virginia since monday night. it's been a blast. mostly, i've been at the seminary in alexandria looking at curriculum for my rotten ungrateful children. i found the things i want to use, and am actually excited about implementation and planning. yay. and i've been hanging out with friends and catching up on their stories. and riding the metro into dc. i miss that town.

what a great place, seriously. it's messy and busy and full of noise and i love it. i ate chinese food at my favorite hole in the wall in china town-- the new big wong. seriously, that's the name of the place. it's on H street nw, you should go there sometime. get the general tso's chicken with a bowl of hot and sour soup-- you will not be dissappointed.

and last night, oh night of nights... i met my old roommate melissa, and after tea and sympathy at her precious house in our old neigborhood, we metroed to shaw for one of the great meals in the history of western civilization.

at 14th and U street NW, in the dc, there is a lovely little spot, framed in yellow and red. it's ben's chili bowl. you can google the name, and go see their website. it will make you very hungry and jealous that i used to get to eat there all the time. when i worked about three blocks from ben's, way back in the day, i would go in and get a chocolate milk shake with extra chocolate about twice a week. that's one reason my ass stayed the exact same size from san marcos to dc and back. those damn shakes... nectar of the gods, that's what.

those milk shakes may very well have helped me keep my sanity. lord knows there was precious little of it left by the time i moved back to the terra firma of texas. milk shakes, cheese fries, and half-smokes drenched in chili. yay.

there was a guy named rob who worked behind the counter, and every time my old office mate and dear friend hope would hit the door, rob would start making our order-- a cherry shake for hope, a chocolate one for me, one half-smoke split down the middle, and an order of cheese fries with two forks. and by the time the two of us had finished filling the incredible juke box in the corner full of funk in the way only two really sheltered white girls can, our order would be sitting on the counter, between our two favorite stools. and even on days that were bad days, the lights and grease and friendly conversation in that place would wrap us up in familiar smells and laughter, and enable us to brave the harsh environs of the office of the farting boss. ahh, nostalgia.

in other news, you MUST see (read that--run, don't walk to your nearest video store or netflix cue) True Stories. this is the funniest movie i have seen in ages. it's so off-beat, so bizarre, and so circa 1986 mocumentary that i may have to buy my own copy. for those of you who grew up in brady, have ever been to brady, or have ever heard me tell a story about brady--you must see this movie, because you will know just about everyone in it. as an aside about small town humour, tuna christmas is playing at the kennedy center right now. what a hoot!!

ok, gots to run and eat and go catch a plane. pray delta doesn't loose my bags between here and atlanta and on to austin. catch you on the flippy.

mil besos--r

03 November 2004

porcelain chariot

let me tell you, election night is probably one of my favorite nights, ever. it's almost better than christmas, except for the Jesus part, and it only comes around every four years. but last night, fate dealt me a cruel blow, and i'm not just talking about the fact that half the people i voted for tanked.

no, last night, in between blearily gazing at the trusted face of peter jennings, i was calling the dinosaurs of old. i got the old fashioned third-grade variety 24-hour bug. you know the one-- throw-up everything you've eaten in the last 7 years, lay on the cold bathroom floor, praying for death, wishing like hell you still lived at home so your mom could bring you a cold wash cloth and sympathy, being tempted to eat something so you wouldn't have to yark up your toenails. oh yeah, that's the one. i knew you'd know what i was talking about.

i was glad, well sort of, to see the light of day this morning. i agree with John Kerry about many things. and while i was sad to see him go down in the polls, i was glad for the dialogue that has been started in this great nation. i agree with him that the greatest prayer we can pray today is "God bless America". and i hope that the next four years can be about people meeting each other, people talking and sharing with each other. i hope the next four years aren't met with more division, more rancor, more intolerance. i hope the next four years can be spent talking about what's going right, making more things go right, and i hope we can talk about love and understanding, with out having to legislate what that all means.

end of rant. i need to drink some more gatorade, and get my head together for my high school kids tonight.

smooches to all-rmg

01 November 2004

in thanksgiving for the souls of all faithful departed...

well, it's that frequently forgotten holiday that gets sandwiched in between the sugar orgy that is halloween and the turkey--gobbling binge that is thanksgiving. it's all saints' day today-- incidentally one of my very favorite of all church holidays. it's a good time to remember those who have gone before us, and to be thankful for their influence in our lives. it's a nice day, without being all sad and droopy. except that the weather today, combined with my allergies is making me a little droopy, nonetheless.

you know, there are a thousand ways a person can die. and i don't mean just die like cease to respire. sometimes people die out of our lives through no fault of their own-- people grow away from each other; not every relationship has the shel-life of a twinkee. sometimes people move away, and distance proves too wide to cross. sometimes people turn into other things, and we realize that things are not what they were, things will not be better, and it's just time to cash out and cut our losses. and yes, sadly, sometimes people just really do die. but being sad about any of those things for very long is just as bad as not being sad at all.

case in point-- there was a girl (that's me), who once upon a time loved a young man very much (that's him). and the girl and the boy were very good friends, and sometimes were other things. and there was much phone calling, and letter writing, and email sending, and present giving, and votes were cast, and stars were read, and prayers were prayed, and futures were discussed. and one day, the girl and the young man woke up to find that both of their worlds and views had very much changed, and that nothing they thought they had in common was really in common any more, except for the fact that they kind of knew some of the same people, and were in a lot of photographs together. but the things that had kept them up for hours talking and sharing now just kept them up for hours arguing and trying to score points. and so they became ghosts to each other.

would you believe that last week i walked right by that ghost? and i was greatful. greatful for what i've learned, for what i've seen. i was greatful that i've learned to stand on my own two feet, and that i'm not scared any more that someone might leave if i say or do or believe the wrong thing. it's good to not be scared anymore. sometimes the scariest things about ghosts are what they show us of ourselves-- and it was good to see that the other side of me is doing ok-- not that it's all in the bag, but hey, i didn't throw up like i thought i might, and i enjoyed my evening out with a dear friend. and you know what? i hope the ghostie enjoyed his night out, too.

at any rate, thanks for listening.

mil besos--r