it's no big secret that life has offered me more questions than answers, especially over the last couple of months. who am i kidding? i have about 8 million questions at the moment, and am trying to figure out an answer to at least three of them.
a couple of weeks ago, i had a conversation with one of my nearest and dearest, who seems to be standing in solidarity with me, in terms of existential angst, at the moment. we were talking about what we each thought we needed to get through this period. kind of like when you can't go to sleep, sometimes, you can think of your favorite place, etc. and at least be able to get some rest. i thought-- God, if i can just find something beautiful to look at, or be a part of, or hear about, i'll be ok. and you know what? i finally got an answer.
jacob conner nels was born at 8:08 pm, on Groundhog's Day. he's the newest member in a long line of friends who have become family. new babies are beautiful things-- they represent the best of hope and love and potential we all possess within us. i can't wait to just watch him grow-- watch his parents grow into even more incredible people than they already are.
beauty comes in all shapes and sizes-- in strange ways, too. when my grandparents moved to new braunfels this summer, they brought a whole big tupperware box full of pictures, letters, and telegrams. looking at those pictures was beautiful. i saw pictures of when my grandfather was a marine, and had a private room. he had all sorts of pin-up girls in his room, but above his bed, you could see a picture my grandmother had sent him, set apart from all the rest. he still has that picture. seeing the telegram my grandparents sent to tell their families they had finally run off and gotten married was beautiful. it's nice to know that after almost 53 years of being married, they are still such good friends, and have created beauty in their wake-- after all i'd be a horrible child if i didn't say that the most beautiful thing they created was my mother. happy birthday, momma.
life is good. still lots of questions. still no real serious answers. but there is beauty, and that is enough.
mil besos--rachel
1 comment:
Thank you Rachel for spending time with me, for loving me, for sharing with me, for teaching me, for inspiring me, for being such a breath taking example of what this is all about! Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for laughing with me until we cry and crying with me until we laugh. Thank you for hugging me in a way that makes the world go away. Thank you for showing me glimpses of the world in the way that Jesus must see us. Thank you for challenging me to sometimes see the forest instead of just the tree and vice versa. You have contributed richly to my life in ways I cannot fully nor adequately express, but must suffice to be content with knowing that "I love you" are words which speak to your heart in ways that transcend the common place usuage of that phrase. I am so honored to have been chosen to be your mother. I am humbled to be considered your friend.
May you always have more questions than answers! In the midst of the storm, no matter its intensity, duration, source or type, may you never lose your peace.
I love you,
Mom
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