well, i'm sure you're wondering how things went... so am i. the perspective boss man is off to his sister-in-law's wedding in mexico, so i'm assuming he's not going to be calling in the next 7-9 days. that's the short answer.
the abriviated answer isn't much more revealing. basically, i can tell you that it was either the best or worst interview i've ever done in my life. let me tell you why i think so. i'll set the stage...the interviewing committee was three older ladies and one older gentleman. two looked like pretty easy sells, the other two, not so much. and one showed up 20 minutes late, because this person forgot they were interviewing me. (did i mention the fact that i was EXACTLY on time? not too early, not too late, just right. and i was not overcaffineated or undersleeped. i know that's not a word, but i think it's pretty inventive. i get extra points. ) needless to say, i felt like i should have gotten a gimme point or three for participating in somewhat mindless chatter with the other three until the fourth interviewer arrived. all i can say is thank God and the baby Jesus i was raised in the south and can make idle chitchat with anyone for at least 20 minutes. in that time, you can discover that you actually know people in common, have had some common experience, and make a nice comment on the other parties experience or outfit, and still have it come off as being nice AND engaging. the interviewing room was horribly set up. i felt like i was selling avon, and had forgotten my flow charts. but i crossed my ankles, took a deep breath, and tried to answer their questions. did i mention they had a SCRIPT?
yes, yes, a script. and they were nuts about it. and i have to say, if i get this job, i will find out who created those questions, and pray for the salvation of their itty bitty cold hard hearts. here's my favorite question (with no preface, examples, ect.) "How do you meet people?" are you KIDDING me? thank good ness i got that problem with my inner monologue becoming my outter monologue, because i might have embarrassed myself with a totally inappropriate response, somewhere along the lines of like "You mean like in a bar?" i was terribly glad to find out that i did not have a mouth full of water, because i might have given the panel a shamu-like showering upon hearing the question.
i waited about ten second to see if the person who was rapidly becoming known as "the grand inquisitor" inside my head to finish asking the question. she didn't. that was it. it was hard, difficult, painful, almost to not rattle off the legion of smart-ass answers that begged to come tripping so easily off my tongue. i answered, in my best "please hire me, because i am a budding genius with a wonderful and compassionate heart who wants to save the world and love Jesus" voice, that the way i met people was to look them in the eye, tell them my name, shake their hand, and try to find some common ground to talk about. what a plastic answer to an impossibly plastic question. oy and vey. i have never felt more goofy in my entire adult life. seriously. not even at camp. not even with shaving cream in my hair. not even the time i got so tickled that i wet my pants in a room full of my peers.
"how do you meet people?" seriously, what did they expect me to say? "well, first i dance around like a goon, and then we open up the liquor, roll up some doobies, and see where the experience takes us. did i mention that i'm currently enrolled in a pole dancing class at SAC?" "i'm agoraphobic, so most of my relationships are based on typing speed and internet connectivity." "i was raised by a pack of wild dogs, so i'm mostly into ear nipping and unashamed ass-sniffing, followed by peeing on whatever stands still and doesn't smell familiar to me." "i already know everyone. i'm just that good. the masses flock to me. what can i say? i'm more popular than anyone you've ever met. and the only reason you haven't met me yet, is so you can meet me now, and be overawed by my personhood."
i have to say that the questions did get a little bit better. but i've never been in an all-by-the-script interview. they didn't even ask follow up questions. which either means that i answered every question perfectly, to their entire satisfaction, or i screwed the answers up so badly, they didn't care to hear more from me. i think the truth is hopefully somewhere closer to the first...at least, i hope so. i walked out feeling like i needed a stiff drink. so i went home and took a nap, instead. i'll keep you posted.
i hope like hell i got this job, because if that is what interview panels are like everywhere, now, i have got to take a class or something.
mil besos--rmg
1 comment:
sooooooo
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