i am a drain on society

i have offically become a statistic. as of yesterday, i am unemployed. did i mention that i also don't have health insurance, at the moment? good news is that i made my car payment this month, and next month looks like it's going to make it, so i'm not worried, yet.

i have my second interview with what i am calling "el trabajo magnificante", which means "the magnificent job" in spanish. i imagine peggy hill saying that inside my head everytime. the interview is tomorrow evening, and the committee was kind enough to request that i bring questions, as well, this time. God can only know what devious script they may have up their sleeves tomorrow night. for those of you playing the at home edition of "rachel grows up", you'll need to know that i'll be wearing my brown twin set to the interview.

i never thought i would be irritated by free time. but it is really hard for me to just knock around and not do anything on any kind of a schedule. ok, wait, the sleeping until i wake up part is really, really, really nice. and yesterday, i took a nap, just because i could. other than that, it's bizarre and a little unsettling. so, since i can't have idle time, because it's a waste, and waste is a sin, i've been busy doing random things. i did laundry this morning, and i've gone to work on two carepackages for two folks who certainly seem to need them of late. btw, if you want a cd or a collage or something like that made by yours truly, now is definately the time to ask, because by november 1st, i will either have "el trabajo magnificante" or i will be making coffee drinks and bussing tables somewhere in the area.

my nephew has three teeth, now. little tiny pearls that just barely crack the surface of his pink gums. you can see them when he throws his head back. it's amazing to me how engaged he is, how intently he watches everything around him, and how easy it was to teach him "uh oh". can you imagine what i could teach the little critter if i had full access to him on a daily basis...oh the trouble i could get into...

the interview looms large, and i'm doing things to keep myself from thinking about it, trying to come up with thoughtful questions, trying to put myself in the committee situation, trying to formulate brilliant answers to questions i can't imagine. this is hard. i want this job. i want this job. i really freaking want this job. and i want all the stuff that goes with it, i think, as well. it's so hard not to pin hope to this. walking that fine line between optimism and realism has never been my forte. i always end up becoming sort of pessimistic, in an effort to steel myself for disappointment, etc. in fact, i do that with pretty much everything. guess it's kind of like that old maxim "blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall never be disappointed". hope is a good thing, but it is dangerous and wild.

i'm serious about those projects...you know how nutty i can be with too much free time...i might end up just blogging myself into insanity...

mil besos--rmg