so it's tuesday of my first full week as a working lady. it feels like it ought to be six months into the gig, but in a good way. i'll tell you the truth, they are not throwing me any soft balls, or riding their breaks, or any of the metaphors for going easy on me. i am definitely earning my permission to speak with authority, not to mention my paycheck. i'm also learning A LOT. i have to keep a check on my ego at all times, and remind myself that just because i have fresh eyes and an outside perspective, i am not the final answer on the Right Way To Get Things Done. you can probably imagine that doing that is a hard thing for me, sometimes. since i haven't been hit over the head with a walking-aid, been drenched in ensure, mugged in my office, or outright fired, i feel ok about my job performance, to date.
yet another ray of sunshine in my merry little bonnet is that as of, or around jan. 15, i will be joining the ranks of Proud Homeowners. a two/two townhouse is in my future, and possibly yours, should you venture to the alamo city and need free lodging. i can't wait to get moved in, and rediscover all the things that have been in boxes for the last 18 months. it'll be kind of like getting all new stuff, only it's all been paid for, already, which makes it even more appealing. and except for the turquoise accent wall and the over-done stencil of climbing english ivy in the kitchen, i'm not going to have to make any real changes on the place. granted, i will have to buy an oven in the next year or so, i'm sure i can muddle through any cooking jags i may go on with my microwave (which, oddly enough, is also a convection oven) and a toaster oven. we'll keep our fingers crossed, anyway. it's bizarre to me that i'm buying a house, but in a good way.
life is good, very full, but good. like i said, i'm having to spend a lot of time in my head, calling myself back, examining what i want to say before i say it, so i make sure it's good stuff and not just my agenda. it would be very easy for me to get swallowed up by this job, to make it bigger than it is, and God knows it's already big enough. the temptation is going to be to just work all the time, not ever shut off the constant streams of needs, fixes, ideas, initiatives, ect. and that just flat can't happen. all work and no play leaves rachie dateless, childless, and in a two/two with a turquoise accent wall and 10 cats. not a pleasant picture, not at all. and even if you substitute sugar gliders for the cats, it's still not a very glamorous existence. if i learn anything from this job, outside of a greater understanding of the grace of God and greater empathy toward my brothers and sisters in the world, i hope i learn a good sense of the balance between walking with people and letting go of them, something like a marriage between the ministry of presence and the ministry of absence. and in doing so, i will have to remember a promise i made when i was 10 years old, and the church asked me if i would " seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving my neighbor as myself", and i answered, in my naivete, not knowing that 18 years on, life would look very different, " i will, with God's help". i don't regret the answer a bit, and i am still awed and daunted by the challenge, surprised by the audacity of my ten-year old self to take that kind of risk, and know a little bit of what it meant and be grateful that my life has opened itself to find out what that means for practical purposes. i still find that answer ringing in my head and my heart, and hope that i have the grace to live into that promise, and know that God's helping me is the most important part of everything.
more later.
mil besos--rmg
28 November 2006
16 November 2006
bringing you up to speed...
i finished my second day EVER as pastoral care coordinator, and i'm pretty much not dead, yet. it's pretty cool. pretty much it's checking up on people who are sick at home, or in the hospital; checking in on folks in assisted living facilities; fielding phone calls and drop ins for various kinds of assistance--light bill, rent, shelter info, grocery and gas money, bus tickets, etc. basically helping people out and training other folks in the church to help me help other people, or better yet, take the bull by the horns and find a ministry of their own. the job description has gotten bigger since i applied, and probably will be added to daily, until further notice. i took a big bite of something, for sure.
i have to keep reminding myself that this job is not saving the whole world in one fell swoop--it's about helping one person save themselves one person at a time. when i tell myself that, i'm not so scared i'm going to mess this up and send my parishoners and myself to the nut hut for an extended, and unplanned vacation.
i'm going house hunting on saturday morning, which seems utterly surreal and slightly bizarre, considering the fact that i haven't a) ever even owned my own house or other fit domicile, and b) haven't even lived on my own in like a year and a half. the thought of moving my stuff and unpacking it all in the midst of learning a new town and a new job is a little daunting at the moment. but it's oddly exciting and BIG at the same time. i can hardly wait to begin.
i never thought i'd say this, but thank God and the sweet baby Jesus that my first job was working in dc for a real butthole, because everything after that has seemed like a cake-walk. and i'll be honest with you, aside from learning how to ignore the random fart during staff meetings, i also learned alot about what i'll be doing now, and made a lot of good memories that are very comforting to me, now. there were also some initiatives i worked on in dc that could bear repeating in the alamo city, as well. i'm trying to keep it all in perspective, and remembering that austing and dc were their own experiences, and not everything has to be replicated. it's a lot like packing--keeping, sorting, throwing away, reusing, regifting, etc. thank goodness i've learned something to apply, huh?
life is good. it is very full. and as i look toward next thursday with some sense of nostalgia and an insatiable hunger for pecan pie, i have many things for which to be thankful, the challenge before me among the foremost. you can be sure this is the first of many posts. you can also be sure that i will try and tell you as many funny stories about the mishaps i'm sure i'll be working on just as soon as they happen. i am on a great adventure.
mil besos--rmg
i have to keep reminding myself that this job is not saving the whole world in one fell swoop--it's about helping one person save themselves one person at a time. when i tell myself that, i'm not so scared i'm going to mess this up and send my parishoners and myself to the nut hut for an extended, and unplanned vacation.
i'm going house hunting on saturday morning, which seems utterly surreal and slightly bizarre, considering the fact that i haven't a) ever even owned my own house or other fit domicile, and b) haven't even lived on my own in like a year and a half. the thought of moving my stuff and unpacking it all in the midst of learning a new town and a new job is a little daunting at the moment. but it's oddly exciting and BIG at the same time. i can hardly wait to begin.
i never thought i'd say this, but thank God and the sweet baby Jesus that my first job was working in dc for a real butthole, because everything after that has seemed like a cake-walk. and i'll be honest with you, aside from learning how to ignore the random fart during staff meetings, i also learned alot about what i'll be doing now, and made a lot of good memories that are very comforting to me, now. there were also some initiatives i worked on in dc that could bear repeating in the alamo city, as well. i'm trying to keep it all in perspective, and remembering that austing and dc were their own experiences, and not everything has to be replicated. it's a lot like packing--keeping, sorting, throwing away, reusing, regifting, etc. thank goodness i've learned something to apply, huh?
life is good. it is very full. and as i look toward next thursday with some sense of nostalgia and an insatiable hunger for pecan pie, i have many things for which to be thankful, the challenge before me among the foremost. you can be sure this is the first of many posts. you can also be sure that i will try and tell you as many funny stories about the mishaps i'm sure i'll be working on just as soon as they happen. i am on a great adventure.
mil besos--rmg
02 November 2006
long story short
i got the job. we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that the prayers and the twin-sets worked their mojo. i start on the 15th. and i've already started looking for houses and making plans. this is going to be the biggest job i've ever done, in scope, function, emotional investment, etc. i'm excited, hopeful, a little scared, and more than anything, ready to do something. i didn't even have to dicker on my salary package. i have slept better in the last 4 days than i have in a solid month.
i got to put my nephew to sleep last week. that was pretty spectacular. this little scrap of a boy who looks so much like my father, so much like my brother, but is entirely himself, and who loves me, just because i come see him and rock him to sleep sometimes. he's teething, and it's pretty relentless, apparently. i'm very grateful not to remember my teething days. talk about being cranky...it took me singing most of the songs on james taylor's greatest hits, and a couple of elton john songs to get the little monster to shut it down for the night. and even though the 25 pounds of need that is my little nephew didn't go to sleep for two hours, and my arms were a little sore from holding him, i wouldn't have traded that time for any job, or amount of money, or relationship...it was utterly priceless. i think that child has a mark on me, invisible, but deep and abiding, and it's amazing how i feel about him, even though i didn't grow him or bring him into the world. i start to run out of words when i try to talk about that, even in my journal. it's bigger than that, i guess.
life is so full right now, with comings and goings, adjustments, moves, hellos and goodbyes. my 15 year old dog is not doing well, and that's kind of sad. mostly i'm sad for my momma, because beau has been her fur-baby since my brother and i left home. and i know that him shuffling loose the mortal coil will be hard on her, and that makes me sad. beau is a good dog, not the fetch kind of dog, but the love on you kind of dog. beau is the kind of dog that will curl up in your lap or at your feet and watch all of the godfather movies in a row and eat popcorn with you. he's old, he smells, he has fluid around his heart, and his one joy in life is a tie between licking the cat's butt or eating out of the cat's litter box. he also likes trying to chase down deer, but he's older and slower, and mostly just tries to cover their scent when he goes for a walk. he's a mutt, through and through, and as much as he's peed on the corner of my bed and barked me out of bed in the mornings, shoved me off the couch, etc., i adore that dog. there will never be one as good as beau, again. and that's ok. life is a wheel, and we are all on it, fur friends, and otherwise.
mil besos--rmg
i got to put my nephew to sleep last week. that was pretty spectacular. this little scrap of a boy who looks so much like my father, so much like my brother, but is entirely himself, and who loves me, just because i come see him and rock him to sleep sometimes. he's teething, and it's pretty relentless, apparently. i'm very grateful not to remember my teething days. talk about being cranky...it took me singing most of the songs on james taylor's greatest hits, and a couple of elton john songs to get the little monster to shut it down for the night. and even though the 25 pounds of need that is my little nephew didn't go to sleep for two hours, and my arms were a little sore from holding him, i wouldn't have traded that time for any job, or amount of money, or relationship...it was utterly priceless. i think that child has a mark on me, invisible, but deep and abiding, and it's amazing how i feel about him, even though i didn't grow him or bring him into the world. i start to run out of words when i try to talk about that, even in my journal. it's bigger than that, i guess.
life is so full right now, with comings and goings, adjustments, moves, hellos and goodbyes. my 15 year old dog is not doing well, and that's kind of sad. mostly i'm sad for my momma, because beau has been her fur-baby since my brother and i left home. and i know that him shuffling loose the mortal coil will be hard on her, and that makes me sad. beau is a good dog, not the fetch kind of dog, but the love on you kind of dog. beau is the kind of dog that will curl up in your lap or at your feet and watch all of the godfather movies in a row and eat popcorn with you. he's old, he smells, he has fluid around his heart, and his one joy in life is a tie between licking the cat's butt or eating out of the cat's litter box. he also likes trying to chase down deer, but he's older and slower, and mostly just tries to cover their scent when he goes for a walk. he's a mutt, through and through, and as much as he's peed on the corner of my bed and barked me out of bed in the mornings, shoved me off the couch, etc., i adore that dog. there will never be one as good as beau, again. and that's ok. life is a wheel, and we are all on it, fur friends, and otherwise.
mil besos--rmg
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