window on the world

so it's tuesday of my first full week as a working lady. it feels like it ought to be six months into the gig, but in a good way. i'll tell you the truth, they are not throwing me any soft balls, or riding their breaks, or any of the metaphors for going easy on me. i am definitely earning my permission to speak with authority, not to mention my paycheck. i'm also learning A LOT. i have to keep a check on my ego at all times, and remind myself that just because i have fresh eyes and an outside perspective, i am not the final answer on the Right Way To Get Things Done. you can probably imagine that doing that is a hard thing for me, sometimes. since i haven't been hit over the head with a walking-aid, been drenched in ensure, mugged in my office, or outright fired, i feel ok about my job performance, to date.

yet another ray of sunshine in my merry little bonnet is that as of, or around jan. 15, i will be joining the ranks of Proud Homeowners. a two/two townhouse is in my future, and possibly yours, should you venture to the alamo city and need free lodging. i can't wait to get moved in, and rediscover all the things that have been in boxes for the last 18 months. it'll be kind of like getting all new stuff, only it's all been paid for, already, which makes it even more appealing. and except for the turquoise accent wall and the over-done stencil of climbing english ivy in the kitchen, i'm not going to have to make any real changes on the place. granted, i will have to buy an oven in the next year or so, i'm sure i can muddle through any cooking jags i may go on with my microwave (which, oddly enough, is also a convection oven) and a toaster oven. we'll keep our fingers crossed, anyway. it's bizarre to me that i'm buying a house, but in a good way.

life is good, very full, but good. like i said, i'm having to spend a lot of time in my head, calling myself back, examining what i want to say before i say it, so i make sure it's good stuff and not just my agenda. it would be very easy for me to get swallowed up by this job, to make it bigger than it is, and God knows it's already big enough. the temptation is going to be to just work all the time, not ever shut off the constant streams of needs, fixes, ideas, initiatives, ect. and that just flat can't happen. all work and no play leaves rachie dateless, childless, and in a two/two with a turquoise accent wall and 10 cats. not a pleasant picture, not at all. and even if you substitute sugar gliders for the cats, it's still not a very glamorous existence. if i learn anything from this job, outside of a greater understanding of the grace of God and greater empathy toward my brothers and sisters in the world, i hope i learn a good sense of the balance between walking with people and letting go of them, something like a marriage between the ministry of presence and the ministry of absence. and in doing so, i will have to remember a promise i made when i was 10 years old, and the church asked me if i would " seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving my neighbor as myself", and i answered, in my naivete, not knowing that 18 years on, life would look very different, " i will, with God's help". i don't regret the answer a bit, and i am still awed and daunted by the challenge, surprised by the audacity of my ten-year old self to take that kind of risk, and know a little bit of what it meant and be grateful that my life has opened itself to find out what that means for practical purposes. i still find that answer ringing in my head and my heart, and hope that i have the grace to live into that promise, and know that God's helping me is the most important part of everything.

more later.

mil besos--rmg