ghosttown...

so, i totally overthought how bad my high school reunion was going to be. shocker--me over-think anything? what? oh but i did. damn near paniced and turned around about eighty times driving back on the road, that despite my travels and the fact that i don't have family living there anymore, still feels like the road home.

i saw people i hadn't seen in years. i laughed like a little kid. i saw the faces of my class mates on the faces of their children. and i put some old, aching, miserable ghosts to bed, hopefully for the last time. i drove past houses i used to live in. i made the loop around the park. i got a coke at sonic. for the first time, i had a beer at bonnie's house, and wasn't scared to death her parents were going to catch us drinking. it was surreal. and kind of nice.

the best part was knowing that while i don't always have the life i've dreamed of having, i no longer give two hoots and a holler about who thinks i'm cool or worth talking to. i was glad to know that the girl who felt that way didn't come to the reunion wearing my face. we all grow up, in our own time, and in our own way. and thanks be to God for that.

i imagined i would have to do a super-secret blog and tell you all about the things i saw and heard that weren't fit for public consumption. at the end of the day, all i can tell you is that i had a wonderful time. i had some amazing conversations. and i was ready to come home, back to the home i have made for myself, in this place and in this time. and sure, it's not always as pretty or put together, or even as full as i would like for it to be. but this is my life, all the pieces, and i'm proud of that. i have worked so fiercely to become who i am, to carve this out. i don't have time for regret or jealousy. that's a good thing to know. oh, and i know that i should never play the guitar after about 37 vodka drinks. it's the little lessons that count, right?

mil besos--rmg