...and i feel fine...

so in the span of less than two hours, two people i adore and who are totally unrelated to each other, asked me about 2012 and what i thought about it. crazy, huh? if i'm honest with myself, i really don't think it's crazy, at all, and is probably one of those little synchronicities that need to be dealt with, in some form or fashion.

it's no secret that the last year has been a real struggle for me, both personally and professionally. it's no secret that the world is changing, is getting exponentially smaller and larger at the same time. there are no secrets. and i don't think there are accidents, either. sure, there are things that defy explanation or reason, but that dosen't mean they don't have some greater good/deeper meaning attached to them. of all the things i've ever quit believing, waste has been the easiest one to cast aside. i don't believe in waste, and the belief in accidents allows for that. but i digress...

2012...possibly one of john cusak's worst movie choices...that hurt to type. i think that's the worst thing i can say about 2012, with any veracity. i mean, talking about what might or might happen when the Long Calendar runs out makes about as much sense as talking about what might or might not happen tomorrow. it's another day. and all the prognostication about the end of the world, cataclysms of epic proportions, and the ultimate doom of humanity seems a little ridiculous, if you ask me. it's not for me to know. and even if i did know it, what's to be done about it?

in the final analysis (and after all, isn't that what all the fuss with 2012 is focused on), everyone's world ends, sooner or later. for some people, it will be today, or was last week, or will be a hundred years from now. how we tell our stories, how we tell the Story of G-d, what words we use, how we find a way to hold Jesus's hand...those are the details that should interest us, should drive us forward, should compell us to love each other and our little lives a little bit more, every day. when we get bogged down in when the end of the world really happens, who gets rewarded or punished, we lose sight of the life we have to live TODAY, in the most ordinary and trascendent of ways.

i thought about what i would do differently if i knew i only had 24 months left on the game clock. things i've never seen, or done, or experienced that i thought were important went flashing through my head first. and then i thought about things i've done that i'd like to do, again. and then i realized that if i knew i only had 24 months left on the clock, i wouldn't do anything differently, not really. there is a lot left to learn in my little life, in my insane job, with my amazing family, and from my incredible hedge of friends. why would i leave that for a minute to go running off someplace else? so maybe i'd listen harder, ask better questions, be nicer than i absolutely had to be. i'd paint once a week. i'd write more letters. but that's about all. and those are things i've been working on doing, anyway.

the end of the world is not my perview. it's not something i think i should think about, or dwell on. my job is to live into the Gospel, and to sometimes use words; to praise God, love people, and use things well. i'm content to let G-d, who is doing far more than we could ask or imagine, handle the rest.

mil besos,
rmg