"it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not kow your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle."
--sun tzu, the art of war
"no one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes."
"the two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it were unique and never resorts to formulae, recipes or other people's opinions."
--paulo coehlo
--paulo coehlo
"what spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?" – michelangelo
babylon is a strange place. i never know who i'll bump into and recognize immediately, even though i've never seen them before. instant familiarity is instantly comforting. and scary as hell, sometimes, too. because i don't really know...i'm just going on instinct. and let's be honest...i've been wrong about some things i was SURE i was right about. not often, but jebus...when i'm wrong about that kind of thing, the carnage can stretch for city blocks, and the clean-up makes chernobyl look like a cake-walk. i suppose that's true for most of us, but i can only own my own little corner of the truth.
what i know is this: if we don't find faces we can pick out of the crowd, hands we can hold for no good reason, people who can look at us as we really really are and not blink, we live poorer lives for it. that's not to say one can't make a good life in a solitary fashion. people do it every day. but even those people have faces, hands, people they look and lean into, because they can. because we all need that, at the bottom of who we are. we are communal creatures. sure, sometimes we get bitten or bruised, and slink off to our fortress of solitude to heal up and and gather our wits and nerve about us before we join the pack, again. that's just part of it.
the people in our lives around whom we can be truly naked and unashamed are the most important people we know. so much of who we are and how we are has to be covered up so much of the time, to protect ourselves from all the pointy, scratchy, hurtful, mean things that rub up against us anytime we go out into the world. and we cover up things that don't have to be covered up, but we cover them up anyway--to conform, or confine, or contradict...we cover those things.
sometimes we don't just cover those things, we plaster over them. we cover these soft places with impermeable and impenetrable armor, because we have utterly convinced ourselves (or been convinced by the world) that if anyone saw that bit, no one would ever ever ever love us. we know there will come a day when the plaster will be removed, and that tender place will be exposed to the air and eyes and hands of a world that may not treat us the way we want, need, or deserve to be treated. and when we think about that day, even when it doesn't feel scary or hard to think about it, we still furtively apply an extra-security coat of waterproofing to that plastered spot. because...you know...someone might see.
sometimes, that day comes totally unbidden and unexpected, and there you are...stark raving naked, fresh as the day you slid out of your mother and into someone's cold, clean hands, to be checked out from stem to stern by expert eyes. and your best bet is just to remember that it never really mattered what you covered up, or how carefully you covered it, because it was there all the time and real as roses, whether anyone else could see it or knew about it, or not. because you knew it was there. and for better or ill, if something is ever to thrive, to grow and change, it's got to see the fresh light of day.
we all need people we can be naked in front of, whether it's being really naked, or just being honest and raw. the freedom to feel, to not censor, to flip the switch "on" and go for broke, "jumping off the cliff because you love to feel the wind"...those are not small things, and they are huge risks to take. and if we're going to take those risks, and put all our shit on the line, and stare eyeball to eyeball at the unknown, we better have someone we can trust to put a gentle and firm hand on the small of our back, and tell us "you can do this". it's the only way we're ever going to make a real life in this world, and not just a life that looks like something off tv or out of a glossy magazine.
there's a small set of people who can encourage us to do those kinds of things, to be brave and good and kind, even in the face of having all our tender and naked places exposed and potentially exploited. they are the most important people we know, they are the family we make for ourselves, and they are the friends we make out of our families. they hold our hands and our faces, and remind us that we are beautiful, even in the midst of our brokenness. they pull down the walls inside of ourselves, and remind us that what is the real and truest substance of ourselves is more powerful and profound than any of the the things we think matter on the outside. and that is something none of us can live without.
what i know is this: if we don't find faces we can pick out of the crowd, hands we can hold for no good reason, people who can look at us as we really really are and not blink, we live poorer lives for it. that's not to say one can't make a good life in a solitary fashion. people do it every day. but even those people have faces, hands, people they look and lean into, because they can. because we all need that, at the bottom of who we are. we are communal creatures. sure, sometimes we get bitten or bruised, and slink off to our fortress of solitude to heal up and and gather our wits and nerve about us before we join the pack, again. that's just part of it.
the people in our lives around whom we can be truly naked and unashamed are the most important people we know. so much of who we are and how we are has to be covered up so much of the time, to protect ourselves from all the pointy, scratchy, hurtful, mean things that rub up against us anytime we go out into the world. and we cover up things that don't have to be covered up, but we cover them up anyway--to conform, or confine, or contradict...we cover those things.
sometimes we don't just cover those things, we plaster over them. we cover these soft places with impermeable and impenetrable armor, because we have utterly convinced ourselves (or been convinced by the world) that if anyone saw that bit, no one would ever ever ever love us. we know there will come a day when the plaster will be removed, and that tender place will be exposed to the air and eyes and hands of a world that may not treat us the way we want, need, or deserve to be treated. and when we think about that day, even when it doesn't feel scary or hard to think about it, we still furtively apply an extra-security coat of waterproofing to that plastered spot. because...you know...someone might see.
sometimes, that day comes totally unbidden and unexpected, and there you are...stark raving naked, fresh as the day you slid out of your mother and into someone's cold, clean hands, to be checked out from stem to stern by expert eyes. and your best bet is just to remember that it never really mattered what you covered up, or how carefully you covered it, because it was there all the time and real as roses, whether anyone else could see it or knew about it, or not. because you knew it was there. and for better or ill, if something is ever to thrive, to grow and change, it's got to see the fresh light of day.
we all need people we can be naked in front of, whether it's being really naked, or just being honest and raw. the freedom to feel, to not censor, to flip the switch "on" and go for broke, "jumping off the cliff because you love to feel the wind"...those are not small things, and they are huge risks to take. and if we're going to take those risks, and put all our shit on the line, and stare eyeball to eyeball at the unknown, we better have someone we can trust to put a gentle and firm hand on the small of our back, and tell us "you can do this". it's the only way we're ever going to make a real life in this world, and not just a life that looks like something off tv or out of a glossy magazine.
there's a small set of people who can encourage us to do those kinds of things, to be brave and good and kind, even in the face of having all our tender and naked places exposed and potentially exploited. they are the most important people we know, they are the family we make for ourselves, and they are the friends we make out of our families. they hold our hands and our faces, and remind us that we are beautiful, even in the midst of our brokenness. they pull down the walls inside of ourselves, and remind us that what is the real and truest substance of ourselves is more powerful and profound than any of the the things we think matter on the outside. and that is something none of us can live without.
“ brothers and sisters: life is short and there is little time to gladden the hearts of those
who go the journey with us. so be quick to love and make haste to be kind.
And may the G-d of Love-- Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer be with you and those you know and love, this day and forever-more. AMEN”
mil besos,
rmg
1 comment:
Sometimes, no lots of times, it's like you're up in mi cabeza. great post.
Post a Comment