Job Description

"as time wore on did she think much about the beloved parents she had left behind her?...wendy did not really worry about her father and mother; she was absolutely confident that they would always keep the window open for her to fly back by, and this gave her complete ease of mind. 

what did disturb her at times was that john remembered his parents vaguely only, 

as people he had once known, while michael was quite willing to believe that she was really his mother. 

these things scared her a little, and nobly anxious to do her duty, she tried to fix the old life in their minds by setting them examination papers on it, 

as like as possible to the ones she used to do at school…

 --peter and wendy, j.m. barrie

"when she stopped conforming to the conventional picture of femininity she finally began to enjoy being a woman."

--betty friedan

"i do not believe that the accident of birth makes people sisters and brothers. It makes them siblings. 

Gives them mutuality of parentage. 

Sisterhood and brotherhood are conditions people have to work at. 

It's a serious matter. You compromise, you give, you take, you stand firm, and you're relentless...

 --maya angelou

"the highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose."

 --garrison keillor

"remember how it's always been...you and me against the world...how we always said we could do anything, as long as we did it together?"  --laban seth graves

honestly, it's the only job i've ever done that i felt remotely qualified to do.  that's probably because i was four years old when i took the job, and didn't know i was allowed to doubt my qualifications.  it's a good thing mom and dad didn't wait until i was six to have my brother.  and while i'm sad i didn't get to meet the baby lost between my brother and myself, or the one lost before i was born, i am grateful every single day that my little brother is mine. 

if he hadn't come along, or not been so entirely himself, all the time (even when i sometimes wished he was a sister or a dog or just not so loud and rowdy)...if he hadn't been such a good teacher, such a worthy opponent in damn near everything, i shudder to think what a wreck and ruin i might have become.  everything i know about how to live my life, navigate my life, relate to Jesus...everything i know goes back to being my brother's sister.  it's the job i've had longest.  being that kid's sister, learning how to do it, over the last 30 years, has made me better at everything else i've picked up, from actual jobs to being a girlfriend to working at a church for a wide and varied group of people...everything, everything, all of it goes back to being a sister.  

we have screamed terrible things at each other.  he's the only person i've ever been in a fist-fight with.  we have left marks on each other.  there are stories we would rather not remember.  but when push comes to shove...i know that he backs my play.  

he's the first person i'd draft into my army, if i had to go to war.  he's the person i would trust to broker the peace, once the war was over.  even on days when we don't understand each other, we have a bond that goes all the way to our bones.  nobody but us can ever belong to that club.  and my little brother...that kid could talk the devil into lighting himself on fire.  he's smarter and funnier than i am.  he knows this, but pretends that i'm the smart one.  and on days when i drag ass, or need to laugh, or need to remember the middle of who i am and how i am, my little brother tells me ridiculous jokes and puts my nephews on the phone or has my sister-in-law just laugh into the phone.  he is always teaching me how to be a better sister, holding my best self up to me, reminding me of who i am, of who we are, and where we are going.  

he's the reason my best friends are people i fold into my idea of family--he's the reason for all the brothers from other mothers and sisters from other misters i have spread all over the country.  he's one of the best ways i understand family, and have applied that sense of community, of unconditional love (relationships have conditions...but love does not...remember that...), of intentional focus on honesty and vulnerability, and serious, wild, crazy, unfettered fun.  he's the reason i like having roommates, most of the time.  he's the reason i think farts are hilarious, and don't gag at toilet humor.  he's the reason i never minded having guy roommates.  he's the reason i know i'm not supposed to talk in movies, or during tv shows, or even some commercials.  he's the one who explained football to me, and even though i know how, and can do it myself, he's always willing to bait my fish hook.  

when babylon comes calling, and it does, bidden or not, it's important to know my story.  it's important to know what i'm good at, what perspective i need to call on to get things done.  i have to know what's in my tool box, what's within reach, if it's a solo project, or if i'm going to get some help with the task at hand.  my little brother, my brave and strong and wildly talented little brother, the kid who has given me a thousand nicknames, who pulled the most incredible stunt at my 16th birthday party...he's one of the ways i know G-d has a plan, and that i am loved beyond measure or understanding.  

...my little brother...  he's been the face of Jesus on some hard days, in my world.  both of them, my Brother and my brother, have taught me the best things i know, have taught me a posture for life-- one that makes family out of all of us.  and in this foreign and strange place, this Babylon, living fully and freely and unashamedly into that posture is the way i live to make my life good.  

mil besos,

rmg