i don't even have the first idea WHO took this picture. since it was on my camera, i'm guessing it was me.  

another day, another dollar

this was a long day. granted, i did get a power nap this afternoon, for which i am profoundly grateful, but it was still a long day. i had lunch with erin and max this afternoon, to discuss college conferece. i think it went quite well, up until a point. ( i should point out that i shamelessly rip off other people's funny material ALL THE TIME. i'm funny, but only moderately so. i stop just short of actually co-opting other people's personal stories, and adding my name in the right places. even that is hard for me. i am a humor mercenary.) so, my friend mike (who's wife's blog you can read, and who's child you can adore @ prolly.blogs.com) is a tukong student. tukong is a martial art form that is very difficult, and very intense. i give mike grief about it sometimes, because students of tukong are referred to as "special combat warriors", and from his discription and my over-active imagination, i assume his master looks like a human verson of shredder from the teen age mutant ninja turtles. there's also a lot of talk about the "death blow", which gives a lot of street cred to just about anything. at any rate... i'm sitting at lunch with erin and max, and we move from talking about college conference into talking about summer camp staff, and how the college kids can sometimes have a very crappy attitude. we talked about being the enforcer, etc. to which i replied that i should come up to camp training to scare the kids. i could carry around a cigar, make threats, carry around a riding crop, and look mean for a week, kind of like marlon wayan's character "major pain". i then made the comment, "well, you know, i am a special combat warrior" which, considering the topic at hand, was a total non-sequitor. max laughed so hard that he spewed dr pepper out of his nose. and then he threw up a little bit. erin and i immediately evacuated the taco cabana patio for the safety of my car, max adjourned to the men's room. seriously, i am not making this up. it was quite funny. in case you were wondering, my return button is on the blink right now, and i just don't feel like rebooting and losing this post. deal. so, i came back home, and hung out with stinky j and baby a for the afternoon. stinky j decked himself out in his darth vader helmet and light saber, and threatened me with his glowing piece of plastic. oooo the dark side. it was very scary, in a lot of ways. some days i look at that kid, and i can't wait to have one of my own. other days, i get one look at him, and my biological clock moves from NOW to NEVER. geeze oh man. pictures to follow. mil besos--rmg

what a weekend

my head still hurts a little bit, and i'm fairly certain my liver won't forgive me for what i did to it for a while. what can i say, it was a weekend of debauchery with esteban and co., and i lived the life of a high dollar hag. and i have to say, i felt like the prettiest straight girl in the club they took me to.

additionally, i should take this time to apologize for all those stray text messages i sent out on friday night/saturday morning. oops. lucky you. if you ever wanted dirt to use against me if i ever run for political office, now you have it.

i will post some pictures later. and speaking of pictures, i got some good bathroom graffitti this weekend. in fact, while i was snapping a picture friday night, in the ladies' room, mind you, a man kicked me out of the stall because he "had to take a wizz". i told him that was no excuse to rush great art, to which esteban replied, "yeah, i'm her gaygent!" we both thought that was VERY funny, but the guy who had to go to the potty did not.

more stories later. baby a had to stay home from school today with a fever, and needs to be rocked for a little while.

mil besos and double shots for the house--rmg

they've though of everything...

whatever you look at online for the whole rest of the day, please look at this! seriously, people, what the hell?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051007/ap_on_fe_st/ig_nobels

we can put a man on the moon, create what's featured in the above link, put shaq into your phone, run infomercials for ronco products 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but we can't figure out how to get people off welfare, end hate crimes, cure cancer, or create a vaccine for aids. geeze oh man, people. at least we can say we have plastics, and thereby, the whoopie cushion. See, G-d does have a sense of humor, and i'm sure He/She is laughing at this one...

mil besos--rmg

i'd like an extra shot with that, please

today started at 6am. that's right, 6am. i know, this is a totally different rachel than you are all used to knowing. let me give you a brief review of what's new in my world, or rather give you a rundown of what my days are sort of like...

5:45am-- first alarm goes off. i go back to sleep.

6:00am--last alarm goes off. i get myself up and throw on some clothes i laid out the night before.

6:30am-- i arrive at my cousin sabrina's house to get baby a ready for school

8:15is am-- baby a's bus arrives and carries him away to school after i wave goodbye at the end of the driveway. i start a load of laundry so i can make the kid's bed before he gets home from school, and i head back to my house. on my way, i either stop at starbucks for some rocket fuel, or go tell my grandparents hello, if they are awake.

9am-2:30pm-- arrive home. good days, i nap for a couple of hours. this week, i've been doing a database job for some friends in austin who have a lobbying firm. other days, i've made a trip to san antonio to do some consulting and event planning for ye olde diocese of west texas. who knew my exile would ever end. somewhere in there i eat lunch, make phone calls, and manically check my email. old habits die hard.

2:30pm-- head back over to sabrina's to get ready for the boys to get home. stinky j gets home at 3:30, and has to do homework and bitch about being 12. this takes a while. baby a gets home at 4, and gets some formula and water in his n.g. tube. we hang out, and i mostly laugh at stinky j trying to do his spelling homework. i've been making him do flashcards, and can report that he's getting almost all a's on his tests. and he can spell turquoise. baby a and i lay on the floor and stretch, and watch felicity re-runs and the food network. sometimes we watch little house on the prairie. and i work some more on my database project and try to convince stinky j that burning down the house is a bad idea, and that the gigantic black lab really should live outside, because he slings snot and hair everywhere.

7:45pm-- hook baby a up to his night feed and give him his night meds, with a kiss and a cuddle. and i ask stinky j to be the good kid i know he is deep inside, and i go home to momma.

8pm--get home. momma feeds me and we talk. i usually remember to do the dishes and the odd load of laundry.

9pm-- back to my computer to do more work on the database. it's a killer, man. do you know how many chambers of commerce are in the dallas-fort worth metro area? they are freaking legion. seriously, like at least 120. and those are just the ones google pulled up.

somewhere between 11pm and 1am-- brush my teeth and go to bed.

and now you know all my secrets. well, at least the ones with which i am willing to part.

four weeks til dallas with missy and caro.

three weeks til we find out if i can still plan an event without screwing too much up.

three weeks til wurstfest-- yay beer and sausage. no throw up rides with stinky j this year, seriously.

two months til baby will discovers the world.

one month til the red sox win the world series, again.

about 30 minutes until i check my eyelids for holes.

mil besos--rmg

road side revelation

i drove by southpark meadows on my way home. what i saw made me a little sick to my stomach. instead of the amazing outdoor music venue that was a part of my young adult memory, and the memories of a lot of people i went to college with, there were the makings of a strip mall. a freaking strip mall...like we need another one?

about 12 million years ago, i saw hordefest there. remember hordefest? it was kind of like lalapalooza, on with less well known bands. i saw blues traveler there, right after they released their first album, when john popper was still a fatty. hook was, and still is, one of my top twenty favorite songs, and i remember how i felt the first time i heard it. that song made me want to walk into a room full of my friends, with a beer in one hand, and a good conversation on my lips. sure, i know it's a song about peter pan and wendy. sure i know the chord progression is predictable, and based on pachelbel's canon in d. but it's a great song. and for one period, over six weeks, i played that song first thing in the morning. and that was about four years after the album came out. i drove my housemates crazy. that freaking song still ends up on my mix lists and on mix cd's about 7 times out of 10.

the day i saw blues traveler was a plain old august day, right before i turned 20. it was rainy, and gross, and i saw ben harper right before we went to the b.t. stage. we were sticky, and i was on the verge of begging to be taken home. and then john popper started playing his harmonica. the clouds parted, the pipes came out, and the sticky, sweet, cloying smell of youth and hash mingled and made music of their own. i stood in the crowd, and because i was terrified of being arrested, i didn't smoke the pot, but i was mesmerized by the music. enfolded in it, almost. and i was glad to be alive, in G-d's creation, listening to music that made my heart happy.

i saw dave matthews play at southpark, as well. my friend kerry and i tried to sneak in an icecream bucket full of margaritas, but the security people did their job, and confiscated our sweet treat. the show was amazing. satellite is one of the most sublime songs ever, in my eyes, at least. i remember being 16 and hearing dave on a cassette tape in my friend dustin's bedroom, after i'd given him a haircut, and thinking that it was one of the coolest things ever. i went to the wally, and bought my own cassette tape of dave, and wore the damn thing out. seriously, i warped the tape from listening to it over and over in the tape player in my old rabbit.

dave was great on the day i saw him. i still maintain it was one of the best live shows i've ever seen. he played all my favorites, and played two step, my second favorite dave song. and celebrate, we did. because life is short, but sweet for certain... ah dave, you are a quaker, and that makes you dear to my heart, not just because of all the tasty oatmeal, but because of the good theology and loving-kindness the friendly folk espouse.

and now, a place of song (and st. augustine says that "he who sings prays twice", so you do the math...) has become a place of commerce, which isn't to say that music isn't commerce. it's a strip mall, more of the same, marketing the sameness that we all seem to want, but say we don't. i know that change is the only thing that is constant. i get it. it just made me a little sad to see such a pretty piece of land, a natural amphitheater with incredible acoustics, and a place that had some memories of mine in it's recesses be turned into something utterly ordinary. blah.

i swear if they ever threaten to pave zilker park, or make more parking spaces by barton springs to put in a wal-mart, i will chain myself to the moontower like those armpit hair girls do with the trees in oregon.

end of rant...rachel OUT!

mil besos--rmg

thank God

...it's friday
...for my family, who rocks
...for beta blockers
...for levon helm and robbie robertson
...for xm radio
...for austin, texas
...for employment
...for good friends
...for the fact that tonight i will be asleep before 1 am
...for cold fronts
...for me finally being done with moping around about being old and single
...for baby will, who weighs three pounds, and isn't even due for another two months
...for phone calls and text messages
...for blue skies and green grass and brown dirt, my favorite color trio
...for friday night football games and hot chocolate and knowing i'm not in the band anymore
...for annie lennox's whole "bare" album. i don't care if it sold well or not, i love that thing.
...for "long ride home" by patti griffin
...for mix cds from your friends who sometimes know you better than you know yourself
...for canolis with extra chocolate chips
...for vueve cliquot champagne
...for lone star light beer in a bottle
...for buy one get one free anything

...for you
...for me

mil besos--r

up to speed

well, for those of you who've asked, and for those of you who haven't, here's a snippet of what the book is turning into...

let the fun begin...

In thinking about graffiti, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are several types of graffiti artists (and it is art, friends and neighbors, just look at the budding Picassos who make their mark on the insides of truck stop bathrooms...)

One: “I’m so in love and I want the whole world to know.”

These are the dumb girls who write “Amy Hearts John 4-ever” in black Bic on the inside of every restroom they pass on their way to and from Spring Break, or after Homecoming, or the Prom. As a mark to their undying fidelity, and the undoubted “awesomeness” of their boyfriend, they not only write these little ditties in their algebra notebook, they clutter up the wall space in Wal Mart, Target, their high school and college bathrooms, and in the gas stations used by you and me. Their devotion knows no bounds. And neither does their scorn. I have seen this ditty crossed out, maybe by the artist, and maybe by some tacky passerby, saying that Mr. Wonderful practices poor personal hygiene, or that he doesn’t even like girls, or that he sucks at life. That is where the first kind of graffiti artist turns into the second kind of graffiti artist.

Two: “Today I hate the world”

These are the people who mark though their own or someone else’s “Amy Hearts John 4-ever” and makes disparaging remarks about one or both of those parties. They are also the people who have nothing better to say than “Rudy sucks ballz all day and all night”. Rudy may be the guy who got the promotion at work, instead of the artist. Rudy may be the guy that got the girl (or guy, depending on Rudy’s preference) that the artist had his or her eye on. Rudy may be the kid who stole the artist’s lunch money and shoved him or her into the locker during a passing period. Rudy could be the nicest, most polite, and unassuming person on the block, or Rudy could be a real jerk who deserves to have shit talked about him. In any event, the artist who has nothing good to say in his or her graffiti is intent on letting his or her frustrations OUT, and my bet is that they make their graffiti in fits of anger, wanting nothing more than to say what they have to say, and be done with it. They probably don’t think of the restroom in which they committed character assassination fondly, unlike type 1’s, who will undoubtedly drive by the restroom location with a faint smile on their face, or always have a special place in their heart for Love’s Truck Stops. No, type 2’s just get their angry on and leave.

Three: “Disgusting Perverts with Sharpies”

I can remember a road trip pit stop when I was small, probably about 6 or 7. Someone had gotten after the ladies’ bathroom with a black permanent marker and had drawn the human form, both male and female, in its entire nude splendor. At least I guess that’s what the artist thought the male and female bodies looked like. I have learned in later years that that representation wasn’t all that accurate. At the time, I don’t know who was more surprised, me or my mother. All I could think of was that someone was going to be in big trouble for marking up the bathroom with markers.

I imagine that the people who write swear words and draw genitals on bathroom walls are frustrated people. Maybe they never had the birds and the bees explained to them. Maybe they are struggling with their adult sexual identities. Maybe they were potty trained too early and are mad at their bodies when they have to go to the bathroom. Whatever the case may be, I’m not sure what motivates people to scrawl depictions of coitus, genitals, or things I’ve never even heard of sexually on bathroom walls. But they are there, and so is their artwork. Heaven help the little kids who’s parents’ don’t clear up what’s written on those walls…

Four: “Bigoted Morons “

Unfortunately, we’ve probably all seen more than our share of these tags. They are not a far cry from type 2’s. Their anger is directed at minority groups, all men, all women, countries, ideologies, etc. They spew their anger and hate in ball point pen and marker because they don’t know or don’t want any other avenue to express or educate themselves. This is the kind of graffiti that makes me angry and sad. I imagine this is the kind of graffiti that gas station attendants and restaurant bus staff spend hours scrubbing with abrasives and steel wool, or painting over with white-out or paint matching the stall walls.

Five: “Kilroy Was Here”

These are my one of my favorite type of graffiti artists. They write limericks, snatches of songs, draw cartoons, or tell jokes. They are clearly joyful people, bored while doing their business. They want nothing more than to spread their happiness or humor to other folks. They are the people who came up with my personal favorite piece of graffiti:
Here I sit
Broken hearted.
Came to shit
But only farted.
They are as harmless and well meaning as the people who scrawl the “Amy Hearts John 4-ever” kind of things in bathrooms across the country. They are goofy and wonderful. I know a lot of folks who would and probably do make this kind of graffiti, and my life is better for knowing them.

Six: “Closet Philosophers”

I discovered this kind of graffiti artist in one of my favorite bars in Austin, the Gingerman. In the women’s restroom, in every stall, was a story about a gnome finding his way home through many hardships. The story started in the far restroom and continued through each successive stall. I have also read inspirational religious messages in the form of graffiti, which I adore. These artists want to impart knowledge, or ideas, or just brighten up the day, in another kind of way besides the type five variety’s levity. These people are also fond of passing on health information—like how much the condoms in the vending machine cost, and if they are any good. I imagine they are thoughtful people in their daily life, and just don’t always have the wherewithal to express that in their life outside the bathroom stall.


mil besos--r

nowhere on the list

a catastrophic hurricane was nowhere near the list of things i wanted for my birthday this year. seriously, the only rita i wanted anything to do with was the margarita i was thinking about asking my mom to take me out for on monday, when i actually turn the big 27. looks like we'll still be holed up in the house playing dueling newscasts with cnn and fox, trying to figure out what the hell happened to the beach.

1) i am thankful that my cousins are smart people and are getting the hell out of dodge. i am also thankful that baby charlie is coming to visit me, even though it's because of the hurricane.

2) i am thankful that i didn't take that job in houston, otherwise, i'd be stuck on i-10, chainsmoking and crying to my mother on a rapidly dying cell phone.

3) i am thankful that i have good memories of galveston from when i was little. galveston was the site of my first ever beach trip. if you come see me, i will show you the picture of my and my gramps on stewart beach, before all the medical waste started washing up on it in the mid-80's.

4) i am thankful that i never got rid of the giant sand-dollar that brendan gave me when i was 9, that he got when our families took a joint trip to galveston. i look at that sometimes and remember what a fun trip we had, and what a great friend he has been to me over the years. incidentally, that was also the trip where brendan's mom bought one of those pill-shaver things for removing pills from your sweater. only she and my mom called them "ball-shavers". brendan and eric were very afraid when mom and aunt candy got home and told them what they'd bought at the store. i just remember thinking it was funny that they were hiding under the beds, and screaming about having their balls shaved. and i remember how hard my mom and aunt candy laughed when they explained that the ball shavers were for sweaters, and not for brendan and eric.

5) i am thankful that i have my set of relish forks, in several assorted plastic colored handles, with the words "Galveston, Texas" embossed in genuine imitation gold leaf. i love those things.

6) i am thankful that people are getting out of harms' way. i am thankful that there are good highways in Texas.

that's all. there's a lot to do between now and saturday. pray...

mil besos--rmg

what dreams may come

ok, so a skunk definately got all scared outside my bedroom window last night. the smell was so bad that a) it woke me up, and b) actually cleared out my sinuses. the smell was so pungent that it infiltrated my dreams for the rest of the night. i can't remember what they were about, but it had something to do with scooping feathers into shoeboxes so that my children would be able to function in a good universe. i know, weird.

additionally, i've been doing a lot of thinking about what anonymous had to say about my last post. you know, it's not the wonderful things your friends and family say to or about you that make lasting impressions. no, it's the nasty, snide responses from casual observers that really get stuck in your craw. so, without further ado, anonymous, this is for you.

before i turn 28 (which is in barely a year, 27 is creeping up like a haunt in the night...) i will accomplish the following things for myself, without regard to anyone's schedule but mine. so even though i was up half the night on friday trying to figure out what the hell you meant and who the hell you think you are to make such statements, and even though i know you will probably never coem across this page again, i want to thank you for being such a catalyst. addtionally, my little brother is quite angry with you and said nice things to me about what a pinheaded comment you made. yes, you touched a raw little nerve. congratulations.

here's the list...

1) i will drive route 1, from florida to maine

2) i will see the grand canyon

3) i will see niagra falls

4) i will save enough money to take a trip to europe for six weeks

5) i will finish my book and start the second

6) i will journal at least two days a week

7) i will write five good songs

8) i will go out on five dates with nice guys. i will go out on inumerable dates with mediocre guys in pursuit of the nice guys.

9) i will pay off my credit card

10) i will stop being a romantic and concentrate on being a realist

11) i will write at least one real letter a week, and actually mail it

that's what i've got for the moment. i'll keep you posted. and if any of you want to come along on any or all the adventures, feel free to hop in, anytime.

mil besos (even to you, anonymous),

--rmg

geeze oh man

i just got a picture cd from my last mission trip. while i am not, and never have been, a fan of my own photograph, i have to say that the pictures of me on this particular trip were particularly unflattering. seriously, i look like the wrath of G-d almighty. in every picture, i either look like i'm about to beat the holy hell out of someone, or die of exhaustion. and i had a huge zit that week. the one good picture is of me in pigtails. and i have on sunglasses. and you can see all my worry lines. blah.

however, the photos got me to thinking. thinking about how tired i was in july. every day felt like i was getting up to run a marathon, and in a way, i was. there are moments when i miss my job, miss my kids, even miss the frenzy of my old life. and then i remember the nights i didn't sleep because some kid had confided some secret in me that had broken my heart for them. i remember the panic attack i had at then end of march, and how scared i was that i was really working myself to death, and the realization that i didn't want to die in my bed alone. i remember how scared i was that my heart was racing, and no matter what i thought about, i couldn't make it slow down. those were long nights, and they made for long days.

granted those days were buffered by wonderful collegues and friends. they were buffered by my family and my nearest and dearest. they were buffered by the hand of a merciful and gracious G-d. for that, i am greatful and happy just to wake up everyday and know that that part of my race has been run, and that i did the best job i could do.

lately, i've been trying to write and take good pictures. i've been hanging out with the sweet baby a, and his crazy brother critter j, and it's incredible. there are days when i wonder what is next, what it is that i'm supposed to be doing for the next part of the journey. i said a few posts ago that i thought the preparation was going to have to entail shedding some things, and i still believe that. what i'm trying to figure out is how to shed and get rid of things without loosing myself in the process. i feel like i'm just starting to get a grip on myself again. and maybe that's the key--letting go entirely.

i don't mean going off hermit-style and renouncing my life to gain enlightenment. at least, i don't think i mean that. i don't mean getting all philisophical and starting to talk in abstract nihilistic metaphors. i guess i mean really learning how things work, how i work, and coming to an acceptance about that. i live in this bizarro world where i believe that if everyone could sit down and listen to each other, maybe things wouldn't be in such a muddle. i stress myself out wondering how to mediate conflict, how to get my point across, how to see the other person's point and not condescend or be defensive. maybe it's time i woke up and realized that some conflicts will just rage, regardless of what i think about it, no matter who or what is involved. maybe it's time i woke up to the fact that there is no magic word, no amount of begging G-d, no amount of breast-beating that will teach me who i am and what i'm supposed to be. maybe it's time to let go of answers, and just embrace the questions.

when i used to go to camp as a little girl, we sang a lot of songs. we sang songs on the way to the beach, on the way to the wildlife refuge, on the way to the dining hall, and always in chapel. the other day, on my way home after a long, long, long day, a snatch of a song came flying back at me with such force and clarity that i almost cried. i could smell the sunblock, the sand residue, the bug repelent, and the carpet in the chapel, and i could hear my 12 year old self singing my guts out--"Jesus said, 'I am the light of the world. You people come and follow me. If you follow and love, you'll learn the mystery of what you were meant to do and be'".

i sang that song 100 times at camp, maybe even more, and i believed it every stinking time i sang it. i want to sing that song everyday and believe it everytime i sing it. i want that. i want to sing it and believe it, even though now i know much more than i did when i was 12. i want to remember that G-d takes care of the birds and the flowers, so G-d will take care of me. i want to remember that my life is a prayer, my work is worship, and that i live in the hands of a mighty and loving G-d, so there's nothing really to trouble myself over, in the long run. i want to remember how to do that, and still maintain my edge. see what i mean about letting go? i don't want to do without either of those things, but i know that they can't coexist, or maybe they can. like in college, when i reconciled my ideas about creationism with evolution. or when i reconciled my understanding of human reproduction with the virgin birth. i just don't know. all i do know is that i had just as many questions as my 12 year old self as i do now, they were just simpler questions, then.

that's all, really. just me, rambling and checking in. hope all is well where ever you may find yourself today/tonight.

mil besos--rmg

personally offended

i went to san antonio today to do some shopping. i met up with my buddy erin and hung out at two fabulous malls. i also had the distinct displeasure of viewing one of the worst pieces of visual crap, ever.

the brothers' grimm was awful. it was so bad that it made me angry. it was so bad that i was, as the title of the post indicates, personally offended. i figured that two hours of heath ledger and matt damon would be great, story line aside. eye candy lacking in the new b, and so i was all set to kick back with my illicit popcorn (still adkinsing) and watch a movie with one of my nearest and dearest. ladies and gents-- if schlock like this is the future of hollywood, we are in big trouble. i figured with a director like terry gilliam, it couldn't be too bad, no matter what the review on cnn.com said. i was wrong. half-way through, i thought about leaving, but i figured i had 8.25 plus snacks riding on this, and i had already sat through a chunk of it, i was going to by-God finish it. i had a similar feeling when i read the celestine prophecy. what a piece of crap. but by the time i realized it was a piece of crap, i'd already invested about 3 weeks of nighttime reading, and didn't feel like stopping.

as with my determined reading of the aforementioned tome, i kept wondering when brothers' grimm was going to get good, sure that the next scene would provide the right twist, dialogue, or something to make it worth my while. the most satisfying moment of the whole movie-going experience was the gigantic tinkle i made after holding most of a medium diet coke in while waiting for the "good part". what a wreck.

additionally, i'd like to point out that the movie is set in germany. but the principle actors, with the exception of the bumbling politicos, spoke with a rather posh english accent. does that bother anyone other than me? i mentioned it to erin, who was also somewhat dismayed. this brings up a trend my mom and i have noticed in so-called "historical" programs on the large and small screen, which seems to be, when in doubt, play it english, even if that's dead wrong. what the hell people? in this particular movie, actors pulled off french and italian accents, but there was not a german glottal stop to be heard, and the freaking thing was SET IN GERMANY. some cable channel is doing a series on ancient rome, and the actors are speaking in an english accent. pursuant to a convo with momma, we agreed that a latin accent prolly sounds a lot like an italian accent, so what the hell are the directors doing using english accents with ceasar and his generals? it's madness. it's verbal revisionism, and i don't like it one little bit.

the spoken language is a wonderful thing. i dislike pretension in the spoken word almost as much as i detest grammatical errors, or blatant mispronunciation. i mean, seriously, i heard a retired general refer to ceasar crossing the "rubrican" once on tv. for the sake of the sweet baby jesus, the man was talking about one of the seminal moments in military history, and he is a GENERAL, it's like part of his job to know that crap. i think a little tiny piece of me died that day. kind of like in peter pan, when some says "i don't believe in fairies" and that makes a fairy fall down, dead. i'd like to point out that the only way to bring back the fairy is to clap, very loudly. i think the only way to retrieve that sad, cold, shrunken part of me, is to say "rubican" three times and send me a happy thought.

i'd also like to point out that i realize i make mistakes in the spoken and written language on a daily basis. for that, i am terribly sorry. but i do try. and that's really all i'm asking from hollywood, from pundits, and from my fellow people. end of rant. peace out, foo's.

mil besos--rmg

stumble bum

ok, so today, i went to albertson's to get my mom some sugar-free popsicles. while on the way to the self-check out lane, i blantantly walked right into a display of campbell's soup sippy cup things. i knocked the whole damn thing down, and was lucky i didn't go flying ass-over-teakettle in the process. the crappy thing was that i did it at the front of the store, in plain view of everyone checking out, and the service manager was about 5 feet away from me when it happened. no chance whatsoever in walking away and pretending like it didn't happen. i have no idea what happened to my sense of depth perception. i'm sure the service manager thought i was high or a bit touched. at any rate, he helped me clean up the wreckage, and i went on my merry way.

go freaking figure. however, my awful stomach issues finally paid off. i found two great pieces of graffiti in the alberton's bathroom. saaaa-weet.

life is good. once i get all my shelves put up on the wall, thanks to a stud finder i borrowed from my cousin, sabrina, i will be able to put my books and knick-knacks up, and will be totally unpacked. i wish sabrina had another kind of stud finder...but that's a different post for a different day. blah.

at any rate, i'm 10 pages into the book. i'm looking for a free lance editor(s), so if you'd like a preview, or just want and opportunity to fawn over my budding genius, or want to rip me a new one because i'm a talentless hack, let me know.

mil besos--rmg

alaskan sockeye salmon

salmon swim upstream, to the place of their birth, to spawn and die, to make their life-span come full circle. i'm sure it's not intentional in any cognitive way. they just know to do it. i went to my old home town this weekend. i had no intention of spawning or dying. neither happened, in case you were curious. no, it was just time to go back and see what had changed, what had stayed the same, and to find out more about myself for the next part of the journey.

i came away with two new thoughts. one: this next phase of the journey is all about preparation. for what, i'm not entirely sure, but i know i'm preparing for something. two: preparing is going to have to entail saying goodbye to a lot of things i thought i needed, thought i wanted, and thought i understood. and that is probably going to mean doing what i did last weekend in a lot of different places. driving in, camping out on someone's couch or in a spare room, looking and listening at what's going on around me, in all my old haunts, places i've visited and thought i knew, etc. preparing is going to mean shedding, not necessarily building up, which is the way i have always prepared before. and i have to admit that i am a little scared. ok, i'm a lot scared. and for all my bravado, i have no idea what is next. i know that the book is coming, ever-changing in scope, but not in character. it's still about bathroom graffitti. but i think it's a travel-log and a memoir, too. a kind of pen and ink child that is begging to be born, and that i can do nothing but push out from my mind and hope for the best.

this weekend was fun. not the wild crazy fun that i remember from college goat fests, or even the goat fests of two or three years ago. we have all grown up, and have things to tend to other than sunday morning hangovers. it was odd to be in a group of people i've known my whole life, and in some sense, feel like a total stranger. i'm not married. i'm not dating some fabulous guy. i'm not pregnant or being a parent. i don't work for some a-hole corporation. i don't push paper. i haven't had some life-altering illness or experience. i'm still just me, the chubby girl with the pretty face who knows more than she lets on, and probably runs her mouth too much, except when she can't figure out what to say or how to say it. i am disappointed that i didn't relax more-- maybe i was tired from my work week. maybe i did the chevy chase labor day vacation thing and built up how much fun it was going to be to a level that could never be achieved. maybe i'm disappointed that i missed out on conversations with two dear friends that i just couldn't seem to pin down, because they seemed so otherwise occupied, and i didn't want to be obnoxious. who knows? in the end, it's done. and i learned some good things.

i also learned that i need to put some sunblock in my NEW CAR, so that i don't get a burn on my shoulders when the top's down.

that's all for now. more musings later, i'm sure.

oh, and please pray for my louisiana relatives-- they all got totally cleaned out in the hurricane. they are all alive and well, though, thanks be to God.

and a BIG happy b-day to aunt inez.

mil besos--r

ah, a man and his grill...is there anything more wonderful? nice cheese for the camera, bree. and thanks to you and your preggers wife for hosting me.  

goat--it's what was dinner. yes, this is what all the fuss was about. and no, no one i know won the cookoff. better luck next year, my dearies. 

ok, a little trip down memory lane... this parking lot, right across the street from the radio station was the scene of my first kiss, ever. i had on cut-off levi's, a gray shirt, and my favorite blue and gray nikes. it was 10:47 on a saturday night in february 1996, and alanis morrisette was on my radio.  

ah, potential site for my first graffiti photo. alas, it was a total bust. this bathroom, oddly enough, was clean as a freaking whistle. additionally, my grand-dad built this little gem of a porcelain facility many moons ago.  

the street dance, where all the magic happens...not really. i'm still getting used to my camera, but this blurred shot isn't far from the truth of the matter, folks... 

need i say more about what happened over my weekend?