there are a few things lately that have been helping me cling to sanity... here's the list, in no particular order:
flip-flop weather
car trips
cokes in glass bottles
phone calls from people who make me laugh
emails from people who make me laugh
Grace and Peace
Jesus
that clean baby smell
burping teenagers
good mix cd's that never seem to get old
early mandatory bedtime
and this song:
The Sunday after there was laughter in the air
Everybody had a kite
They were flying everywhere
And all the trouble went away
And it wasn't just a dream
All the trouble went away
And it wasn't just a dream
In the middle of the night
We try and try with all our mights
To light a little light down here
In the middle of the night
We dream of a million kites
Flying high above
The sadness and the fear
Little sister just remember
As you wander through the blue
The little kite that you sent flying
On a sunny afternoon
Made of something light as nothing
Made of joy that matters too
How the little dreams we dream
Are all we can really do
In the middle of the night
The world turns with all of it's might
A little diamond colored blue
In the middle of the night
We keep sending little kites
Until a little light gets through--patty griffin
i'm hanging in there, formulating a plan, and getting ready for the next thing. st. julian of norwich said it best, "all things shall be well, all things shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well."
--rmg
24 February 2005
22 February 2005
peace in the middle
i read somewhere once that peace is not being in a place where there is no conflict, no disturbances, no disappointment. peace is being in the midst of those things, and knowing in your heart that everything, regardless of what happens, is going to be ok.
these pictures remind me of that. two are of churches in manhattan, the busiest slice of civilization i've ever seen. the bottom one is trinity church, which was a haven for people fleeing the distruction of 9/11. it's spire used to be the highest point in new york city. as you can see from the picture, that is no longer true. but it is beautiful, nonetheless.
the next picture is of st. patrick's cathedral in mid-town manhattan. it's very famous for lots of reasons. i like it because it's old, has tons of historic significance, and has beautiful artwork in it. i have been in a lot of churches, but this is one of my all time favorites. it's quiet, and cool, and wonderful. and the neighborhood around it just seems so serene.
the candles are votives that were lit at one of the side altars at st. patrick's. i can't remember which altar, but since i lit one of them, my bet is that they were in the chapel of our lady of guadalupe. mine is the one in the middle. this is not the best photo i've ever taken, but it's one of my faves.
i'm going to see if i can find a pic of el santuario de chimayo that i took a couple of years ago to post. we'll see. in the mean time, i'm praying for some peace in my heart as i go to a vestry meeting, wherein The Budget will be discussed. oy and vey. i think Jesus wants more money in the youth budget...
big love--rachel
these pictures remind me of that. two are of churches in manhattan, the busiest slice of civilization i've ever seen. the bottom one is trinity church, which was a haven for people fleeing the distruction of 9/11. it's spire used to be the highest point in new york city. as you can see from the picture, that is no longer true. but it is beautiful, nonetheless.
the next picture is of st. patrick's cathedral in mid-town manhattan. it's very famous for lots of reasons. i like it because it's old, has tons of historic significance, and has beautiful artwork in it. i have been in a lot of churches, but this is one of my all time favorites. it's quiet, and cool, and wonderful. and the neighborhood around it just seems so serene.
the candles are votives that were lit at one of the side altars at st. patrick's. i can't remember which altar, but since i lit one of them, my bet is that they were in the chapel of our lady of guadalupe. mine is the one in the middle. this is not the best photo i've ever taken, but it's one of my faves.
i'm going to see if i can find a pic of el santuario de chimayo that i took a couple of years ago to post. we'll see. in the mean time, i'm praying for some peace in my heart as i go to a vestry meeting, wherein The Budget will be discussed. oy and vey. i think Jesus wants more money in the youth budget...
big love--rachel
16 February 2005
hunger pangs
it seems like lately there has been a lot of drama in my life. i don't mean like your garden variety drama, either. we're talking full-on melrose place-esqe drama. work stuff, life stuff, just lots of stuff. people have been breaking up, getting engaged, and every permutation inbetween. a couple of people have even been written off as sorry pieces of crap, and i think we all know that it takes me a long time to get to that point with anyone. as an aside, if you are reading this, and believe yourself to be someone who's been written off, it's probably not you. but you should definately send me something nice, just to make sure.
you are never hungry for humble pie. but God help you from passing that plate when it comes your way. the best thing you can do is just choke the bite, or in my case, the whole freaking pie, down all the way to your toes, praying to heaven that you can just keep it down long enough to learn your lesson. there are days when we take ourselves way too seriously, and days when we don't take ourselves nearly seriously enough. lately, i've been trying not to take myself at all. things have been so muddy, i've just been trying to step back and out, to try and get some kind of a bird's eye view of things. to be honest, i think i'm way too mired in multiple messes to really have any perspective other than my own.
and right now, that perspective is fairly healthy, if not brutally honest, i think. i mean, in matters personal, i have been as honest as i've ever been. and while that got my heart ever so slightly broken, at least now i know that those parts of my heart and mind still work the way they are supposed to. i still have no regrets. not any real ones, at least. the good news-- i know that in six months, this will be a very tiny dip in the alpha waves of my life. the bad news-- it sucks real bad right now. i'm listening to a lot of aretha franklin right now, drinking a lot of diet coke, and blogging like a crazy woman.
in matters professional, i have been honest and aboveboard. i have tried to do the right thing, and for all intents and purposes, that mess is out of my hands. i'm just trying to get through everyday in this forsaken place with some semblance of grace and integrity in tact. and it gets harder every day-- i just keep hanging on because being with my cherubs is one of the things i know i am really good at in this life.
i know that this mess can't last forever. i know that i have done what i can do to make things right. and i know that i have followed "the chain of command" the right way. as for any kind of resolution or denoument, i have to trust that other people will do the right thing. and that is so freaking hard right now, because right now, for all my talk of love and peace and believing in the goodness of humanity, i just don't trust people to make good decisions right now, at least where my well-being (emotionally, professionally, etc) are concerned. and yes, i know that's to do with my control issue(s). i'm working on it, ok?
so, back to the humble pie analogy... humble pie comes to you when you're already full. full of yourself, full of the world, full of everything. humble pie is like an emotional emetic. you have to cram it down your throat and let it sit and fester, and kick everything else out. humble pie leaves you feeling hungry for purpose, just purpose. humble pie leaves you with the bitter taste of your own pride in the back of your mouth, because that's what it makes you vomit up. pride is a fearful thing.
when we are prideful, we are the strongest, loveliest, weakest, happiest, saddest, honest, and decietful bastards ever to roam the earth. humility, true humility, is the greatest gift we can possess. when we are humble, we are honest about our strengths, our weaknesses, our loves and our deciet. when we are humble, we are more able to own our feelings and our actions. being humble dosen't mean moaning and wailing about how sad and empty and pathetic we are, because it's easy to be proud about what a worthless sack of shit you may or may not be, as well. being humble means being a realist-- there are days when we just don't get it, period. we don't get how to be loved, or how to love in return. being humble means admitting that. and that is the hardest admission we ever make. my friend evan reminded me this weekend that the longest distance any of us ever travels is the 18 inches between our brains and our hearts. very interesting, don't you think?
humble pie is my least favorite dish, ever. and i feel like i've just had to eat about a million pounds of it. blah. sometimes we need the pie because we've lost touch with reality, or because we're choking on our own sense of self, for good or ill. and sometimes, sometimes it's just freaking time for pie and that's when the waitress of the universe just hands over a big chunk, a giant plastic spork, and a glass of skim milk and stands over you, snapping her gum and smoking a 120, and yelling at you in the flo voice from "mel's diner"-- "eat the g.d. pie, sweetheart, 'cause we ain't got all day, and someone else needs that booth."
in the finaly analysis, i guess who ever said that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger was mostly right. i mean, the tough stuff won't kill you totally off, and some of what dies and goes away is separating wheat from the chaff. but in the meantime, it kind of sucks to find out if you're getting stronger, or just dying off. gross, i hate that.
but you know, in spite of all of the mess, all the pie, all the drama, i still have this bizarre sense of hope everytime i think about things. i still wake up everyday, hoping that people (yes, even me sometimes) will pull their respective heads from their behinds and be real people. i still wake up everyday, ready for new challenges, excited to see what the day holds. i still love people and their messes. i still believe that people will do the right thing, 9 times out of 10. i know that God loves me, and that none of this is God's fault. that 10th time that people don't choose the right thing is a real dozy... and the universe can keep it's freaking pie.
mil besos--rachel
you are never hungry for humble pie. but God help you from passing that plate when it comes your way. the best thing you can do is just choke the bite, or in my case, the whole freaking pie, down all the way to your toes, praying to heaven that you can just keep it down long enough to learn your lesson. there are days when we take ourselves way too seriously, and days when we don't take ourselves nearly seriously enough. lately, i've been trying not to take myself at all. things have been so muddy, i've just been trying to step back and out, to try and get some kind of a bird's eye view of things. to be honest, i think i'm way too mired in multiple messes to really have any perspective other than my own.
and right now, that perspective is fairly healthy, if not brutally honest, i think. i mean, in matters personal, i have been as honest as i've ever been. and while that got my heart ever so slightly broken, at least now i know that those parts of my heart and mind still work the way they are supposed to. i still have no regrets. not any real ones, at least. the good news-- i know that in six months, this will be a very tiny dip in the alpha waves of my life. the bad news-- it sucks real bad right now. i'm listening to a lot of aretha franklin right now, drinking a lot of diet coke, and blogging like a crazy woman.
in matters professional, i have been honest and aboveboard. i have tried to do the right thing, and for all intents and purposes, that mess is out of my hands. i'm just trying to get through everyday in this forsaken place with some semblance of grace and integrity in tact. and it gets harder every day-- i just keep hanging on because being with my cherubs is one of the things i know i am really good at in this life.
i know that this mess can't last forever. i know that i have done what i can do to make things right. and i know that i have followed "the chain of command" the right way. as for any kind of resolution or denoument, i have to trust that other people will do the right thing. and that is so freaking hard right now, because right now, for all my talk of love and peace and believing in the goodness of humanity, i just don't trust people to make good decisions right now, at least where my well-being (emotionally, professionally, etc) are concerned. and yes, i know that's to do with my control issue(s). i'm working on it, ok?
so, back to the humble pie analogy... humble pie comes to you when you're already full. full of yourself, full of the world, full of everything. humble pie is like an emotional emetic. you have to cram it down your throat and let it sit and fester, and kick everything else out. humble pie leaves you feeling hungry for purpose, just purpose. humble pie leaves you with the bitter taste of your own pride in the back of your mouth, because that's what it makes you vomit up. pride is a fearful thing.
when we are prideful, we are the strongest, loveliest, weakest, happiest, saddest, honest, and decietful bastards ever to roam the earth. humility, true humility, is the greatest gift we can possess. when we are humble, we are honest about our strengths, our weaknesses, our loves and our deciet. when we are humble, we are more able to own our feelings and our actions. being humble dosen't mean moaning and wailing about how sad and empty and pathetic we are, because it's easy to be proud about what a worthless sack of shit you may or may not be, as well. being humble means being a realist-- there are days when we just don't get it, period. we don't get how to be loved, or how to love in return. being humble means admitting that. and that is the hardest admission we ever make. my friend evan reminded me this weekend that the longest distance any of us ever travels is the 18 inches between our brains and our hearts. very interesting, don't you think?
humble pie is my least favorite dish, ever. and i feel like i've just had to eat about a million pounds of it. blah. sometimes we need the pie because we've lost touch with reality, or because we're choking on our own sense of self, for good or ill. and sometimes, sometimes it's just freaking time for pie and that's when the waitress of the universe just hands over a big chunk, a giant plastic spork, and a glass of skim milk and stands over you, snapping her gum and smoking a 120, and yelling at you in the flo voice from "mel's diner"-- "eat the g.d. pie, sweetheart, 'cause we ain't got all day, and someone else needs that booth."
in the finaly analysis, i guess who ever said that what doesn't kill you will make you stronger was mostly right. i mean, the tough stuff won't kill you totally off, and some of what dies and goes away is separating wheat from the chaff. but in the meantime, it kind of sucks to find out if you're getting stronger, or just dying off. gross, i hate that.
but you know, in spite of all of the mess, all the pie, all the drama, i still have this bizarre sense of hope everytime i think about things. i still wake up everyday, hoping that people (yes, even me sometimes) will pull their respective heads from their behinds and be real people. i still wake up everyday, ready for new challenges, excited to see what the day holds. i still love people and their messes. i still believe that people will do the right thing, 9 times out of 10. i know that God loves me, and that none of this is God's fault. that 10th time that people don't choose the right thing is a real dozy... and the universe can keep it's freaking pie.
mil besos--rachel
14 February 2005
happy sts. cyril and methodius day!
ha ha, betchu thought i was going to use the three words most disliked by bitter single people everywhere: happy valentine's day. gotcha. no, cyril and methodius were brothers, one was a monk, the other was a bishop. both helped to write down the language of the slavic people in an alphabet (cyrilic, anyone?) and taught the gospel in the native tongue of the people whom they were evangelizing. very cool, no?
as for the other important part to this day:
did you know that during roman times, feb. 14th was the day when birds supposedly paired up for the spring mating season?
the feast of the lupercalia began on this day, as well. remember that from "julius ceasar"?
everyday is special if you fill it with love. and yes, chocolates and candy hearts, big balloons and stupid stuffed plush whatevers are nice to get. it's nice to set certain days apart. but love and the people in your life who give it and recieve it are the better than the mess and drama that can go with making the perfect dinner reservation, or sending the best bouquet of flowers, etc.
end of rant.
mil besos--rachel
as for the other important part to this day:
did you know that during roman times, feb. 14th was the day when birds supposedly paired up for the spring mating season?
the feast of the lupercalia began on this day, as well. remember that from "julius ceasar"?
everyday is special if you fill it with love. and yes, chocolates and candy hearts, big balloons and stupid stuffed plush whatevers are nice to get. it's nice to set certain days apart. but love and the people in your life who give it and recieve it are the better than the mess and drama that can go with making the perfect dinner reservation, or sending the best bouquet of flowers, etc.
end of rant.
mil besos--rachel
beating on the door
thursday night was a good night. not only did i get 15 hours of mostly uninterupted sleep (i say mostly because i woke up twice to drink water, and once to get rid of the water), but i got to attend an incredible youth community night at Youth Advocates in Houston. you can read all about that organization at www.youthadvocates.org they are very nice people, by the way.
at any rate, i was at the YA office for three hours on thursday night, and even though i'd been up since 5:45 that morning, i was totally riveted. there was breakdancing, skate boarding, an mc contest, and of all things-- chess. a group of like 80 kids gets together at the YA office once a week to just be together. they dance, they skate, they play chess, they eat pizza, and they are loved. it was incredible to see all that happen-- no programming, no fabulous pretty room, no overinvolved crazy parents (quite the opposite, i'm afraid, for most of them), no bells or whistles-- just those kids, in their space, doing their own thing-- drug free, violence free, and just happy to be there. it was incredible.
watching them dance, watching them skate, hearing them rap, and seeing them play chess in the midst of all that noise and action was incredible. they were amazing. some of the kids who dance at YA are internationally known breakdancers. i even got to watch them battle! it was so different and exciting from anything i've ever seen before. i felt refreshed, inspired, and happy just to know that a place like that existed in the world.
life is good.
love--rachel
at any rate, i was at the YA office for three hours on thursday night, and even though i'd been up since 5:45 that morning, i was totally riveted. there was breakdancing, skate boarding, an mc contest, and of all things-- chess. a group of like 80 kids gets together at the YA office once a week to just be together. they dance, they skate, they play chess, they eat pizza, and they are loved. it was incredible to see all that happen-- no programming, no fabulous pretty room, no overinvolved crazy parents (quite the opposite, i'm afraid, for most of them), no bells or whistles-- just those kids, in their space, doing their own thing-- drug free, violence free, and just happy to be there. it was incredible.
watching them dance, watching them skate, hearing them rap, and seeing them play chess in the midst of all that noise and action was incredible. they were amazing. some of the kids who dance at YA are internationally known breakdancers. i even got to watch them battle! it was so different and exciting from anything i've ever seen before. i felt refreshed, inspired, and happy just to know that a place like that existed in the world.
life is good.
love--rachel
08 February 2005
shrove tuesday 2005
Jeremiah 29:1, 4-13
.
The people to whom Jeremiah is speaking had been in exile for many years. Faith seemed to be fading fast, and from the way Jeremiah talks, there were many who were looking for answers anywhere they could find them—from false mediums, false teachers, false prophets, and false doctrine. For the exiles, I’m sure that any answer at all, to any question at all, would have seemed a tender mercy—a ray of light upon which to cling in a dark time and place. But out from the darkness of the Babylonian Captivity comes God’s voice through Jeremiah, asking God’s people to be faithful, and promising that by searching for God, God will be found. God promises new hope, a new future, a renewal, restoration, and a gathering of all that had been scattered. God doesn’t say how, and only gives a general when, but the promise and answer to questions is there just the same.
My good friend Sandy Johnson had a plaque in her kitchen, just above the sink. Upon it were the words, “The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you”. That very idea is presented in this Old Testament reading. We don’t always understand from where or why the dark times come, but we know that God not only promises to restore us, but has hope for us and our future. That is amazing to me—that God has hope for us all—even in the face of war, bigotry, and deceit. God has hope for us, even when we see the world or life through a hopeless lens. Thanks be to God.
Lord Jesus, my Brother, my strong Companion—Grant me the grace to know that your will is better than my own. Thank you for your promises that exceed my want and my imagination. Thank you for your hope in me, and your hope in the world. Give us the will and the strength to have hope in and for each other. AMEN
.
The people to whom Jeremiah is speaking had been in exile for many years. Faith seemed to be fading fast, and from the way Jeremiah talks, there were many who were looking for answers anywhere they could find them—from false mediums, false teachers, false prophets, and false doctrine. For the exiles, I’m sure that any answer at all, to any question at all, would have seemed a tender mercy—a ray of light upon which to cling in a dark time and place. But out from the darkness of the Babylonian Captivity comes God’s voice through Jeremiah, asking God’s people to be faithful, and promising that by searching for God, God will be found. God promises new hope, a new future, a renewal, restoration, and a gathering of all that had been scattered. God doesn’t say how, and only gives a general when, but the promise and answer to questions is there just the same.
My good friend Sandy Johnson had a plaque in her kitchen, just above the sink. Upon it were the words, “The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you”. That very idea is presented in this Old Testament reading. We don’t always understand from where or why the dark times come, but we know that God not only promises to restore us, but has hope for us and our future. That is amazing to me—that God has hope for us all—even in the face of war, bigotry, and deceit. God has hope for us, even when we see the world or life through a hopeless lens. Thanks be to God.
Lord Jesus, my Brother, my strong Companion—Grant me the grace to know that your will is better than my own. Thank you for your promises that exceed my want and my imagination. Thank you for your hope in me, and your hope in the world. Give us the will and the strength to have hope in and for each other. AMEN
05 February 2005
sometimes there is a "yes"
it's no big secret that life has offered me more questions than answers, especially over the last couple of months. who am i kidding? i have about 8 million questions at the moment, and am trying to figure out an answer to at least three of them.
a couple of weeks ago, i had a conversation with one of my nearest and dearest, who seems to be standing in solidarity with me, in terms of existential angst, at the moment. we were talking about what we each thought we needed to get through this period. kind of like when you can't go to sleep, sometimes, you can think of your favorite place, etc. and at least be able to get some rest. i thought-- God, if i can just find something beautiful to look at, or be a part of, or hear about, i'll be ok. and you know what? i finally got an answer.
jacob conner nels was born at 8:08 pm, on Groundhog's Day. he's the newest member in a long line of friends who have become family. new babies are beautiful things-- they represent the best of hope and love and potential we all possess within us. i can't wait to just watch him grow-- watch his parents grow into even more incredible people than they already are.
beauty comes in all shapes and sizes-- in strange ways, too. when my grandparents moved to new braunfels this summer, they brought a whole big tupperware box full of pictures, letters, and telegrams. looking at those pictures was beautiful. i saw pictures of when my grandfather was a marine, and had a private room. he had all sorts of pin-up girls in his room, but above his bed, you could see a picture my grandmother had sent him, set apart from all the rest. he still has that picture. seeing the telegram my grandparents sent to tell their families they had finally run off and gotten married was beautiful. it's nice to know that after almost 53 years of being married, they are still such good friends, and have created beauty in their wake-- after all i'd be a horrible child if i didn't say that the most beautiful thing they created was my mother. happy birthday, momma.
life is good. still lots of questions. still no real serious answers. but there is beauty, and that is enough.
mil besos--rachel
a couple of weeks ago, i had a conversation with one of my nearest and dearest, who seems to be standing in solidarity with me, in terms of existential angst, at the moment. we were talking about what we each thought we needed to get through this period. kind of like when you can't go to sleep, sometimes, you can think of your favorite place, etc. and at least be able to get some rest. i thought-- God, if i can just find something beautiful to look at, or be a part of, or hear about, i'll be ok. and you know what? i finally got an answer.
jacob conner nels was born at 8:08 pm, on Groundhog's Day. he's the newest member in a long line of friends who have become family. new babies are beautiful things-- they represent the best of hope and love and potential we all possess within us. i can't wait to just watch him grow-- watch his parents grow into even more incredible people than they already are.
beauty comes in all shapes and sizes-- in strange ways, too. when my grandparents moved to new braunfels this summer, they brought a whole big tupperware box full of pictures, letters, and telegrams. looking at those pictures was beautiful. i saw pictures of when my grandfather was a marine, and had a private room. he had all sorts of pin-up girls in his room, but above his bed, you could see a picture my grandmother had sent him, set apart from all the rest. he still has that picture. seeing the telegram my grandparents sent to tell their families they had finally run off and gotten married was beautiful. it's nice to know that after almost 53 years of being married, they are still such good friends, and have created beauty in their wake-- after all i'd be a horrible child if i didn't say that the most beautiful thing they created was my mother. happy birthday, momma.
life is good. still lots of questions. still no real serious answers. but there is beauty, and that is enough.
mil besos--rachel
24 January 2005
unbelieveable
before you read this-- let me say that a) i pray for this president and this country daily, and b) i think that you can love this country and ask questions about policy, and disagree with the way the ship is sailing, and all the while still consider yourself a "patriot". i guess maybe this is a way for me to spend my own "political capital". --rachel
here's the Center for American Progress' look at the inauguration by the number$ (thanks to Mediacitizen's Tim Karr who also reveals a most interesting donor toward the jaw-dropping inauguration price tag which may be closer to $70 mill all told). For emphasis, it comes just as the U.S. announces that it's scaling back tsunami relief efforts (even as the death toll skyrockets to over 226,000):
$40 million: Cost of Bush inaugural ball festivities, not counting security costs.
$2,000: Amount FDR spent on the inaugural in 1945…about $20,000 in today's dollars.
$20,000: Cost of yellow roses purchased for inaugural festivities by D.C.'s Ritz Carlton.
200: Number of Humvees outfitted with top-of-the-line armor for troops in Iraq that could have been purchased with the amount of money blown on the inauguration.
$10,000: Price of an inaugural package at the Fairmont Hotel, which includes a Beluga caviar and Dom Perignon reception, a chauffeured Rolls Royce and two actors posing as "faux" Secret Service agents, complete with black sunglasses and cufflink walkie-talkies.
400: Pounds of lobster provided for "inaugural feeding frenzy" at the exclusive Mandarin Oriental hotel.
3,000: Number of "Laura Bush Cowboy cookies" provided for "inaugural feeding frenzy" at the Mandarin hotel.
$1: Amount per guest President Carter spent on snacks for guests at his inaugural parties. To stick to a tight budget, he served pretzels, peanuts, crackers and cheese and had cash bars.
22 million: Number of children in regions devastated by the tsunami who could have received vaccinations and preventive health care with the amount of money spent on the inauguration.
1,160,000: Number of girls who could be sent to school for a year in Afghanistan with the amount of money lavished on the inauguration.
$15,000: The down payment to rent a fur coat paid by one gala attendee who didn't want the hassle of schlepping her own through the airport.
$200,500: Price of a room package at D.C.'s Mandarin Oriental, including presidential suite, chauffeured Mercedes limo and outfits from Neiman Marcus.
2,500: Number of U.S. troops used to stand guard as President Bush takes his oath of office
26,000: Number of Kevlar vests for U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan that could be purchased for $40 million.
$290: Bonus that could go to each American solider serving in Iraq, if inauguration funds were used for that purpose.
$6.3 million: Amount contributed by the finance and investment industry, which works out to be 25 percent of all the money collected.
$17 million: Amount of money the White House is forcing the cash-strapped city of Washington, D.C., to pony up for inauguration security.
9: Percentage of D.C. residents who voted for Bush in 2004.
66: Percentage of Americans who think this over-the-top inauguration should have been scaled back.
here's the Center for American Progress' look at the inauguration by the number$ (thanks to Mediacitizen's Tim Karr who also reveals a most interesting donor toward the jaw-dropping inauguration price tag which may be closer to $70 mill all told). For emphasis, it comes just as the U.S. announces that it's scaling back tsunami relief efforts (even as the death toll skyrockets to over 226,000):
$40 million: Cost of Bush inaugural ball festivities, not counting security costs.
$2,000: Amount FDR spent on the inaugural in 1945…about $20,000 in today's dollars.
$20,000: Cost of yellow roses purchased for inaugural festivities by D.C.'s Ritz Carlton.
200: Number of Humvees outfitted with top-of-the-line armor for troops in Iraq that could have been purchased with the amount of money blown on the inauguration.
$10,000: Price of an inaugural package at the Fairmont Hotel, which includes a Beluga caviar and Dom Perignon reception, a chauffeured Rolls Royce and two actors posing as "faux" Secret Service agents, complete with black sunglasses and cufflink walkie-talkies.
400: Pounds of lobster provided for "inaugural feeding frenzy" at the exclusive Mandarin Oriental hotel.
3,000: Number of "Laura Bush Cowboy cookies" provided for "inaugural feeding frenzy" at the Mandarin hotel.
$1: Amount per guest President Carter spent on snacks for guests at his inaugural parties. To stick to a tight budget, he served pretzels, peanuts, crackers and cheese and had cash bars.
22 million: Number of children in regions devastated by the tsunami who could have received vaccinations and preventive health care with the amount of money spent on the inauguration.
1,160,000: Number of girls who could be sent to school for a year in Afghanistan with the amount of money lavished on the inauguration.
$15,000: The down payment to rent a fur coat paid by one gala attendee who didn't want the hassle of schlepping her own through the airport.
$200,500: Price of a room package at D.C.'s Mandarin Oriental, including presidential suite, chauffeured Mercedes limo and outfits from Neiman Marcus.
2,500: Number of U.S. troops used to stand guard as President Bush takes his oath of office
26,000: Number of Kevlar vests for U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan that could be purchased for $40 million.
$290: Bonus that could go to each American solider serving in Iraq, if inauguration funds were used for that purpose.
$6.3 million: Amount contributed by the finance and investment industry, which works out to be 25 percent of all the money collected.
$17 million: Amount of money the White House is forcing the cash-strapped city of Washington, D.C., to pony up for inauguration security.
9: Percentage of D.C. residents who voted for Bush in 2004.
66: Percentage of Americans who think this over-the-top inauguration should have been scaled back.
18 January 2005
Oy and Vey
well kids, it's been an interesting two weeks, i must say. if variety really is the spice of life, i think mine has just turned into an all you can eat mexican buffet of sorts. seriously, i kid you not.
today is meeting day. from 1:30pm until about 8:30pm, i will be in meeting land. if you want to call and leave me funny messages on my cell phone, i will be so happy when i get them. and i will even return your phone call! yay.
confirmation retreat was a ton of fun, really. i didn't cry, none of the kids cried, and i'm pretty sure that we all learned something. thank God for favors large and small.
i feel like i have some big story i'm supposed to tell you, but i can't think on one right now, so i guess i'll log off and get back to work.
life is good.
mil besos--rachel
today is meeting day. from 1:30pm until about 8:30pm, i will be in meeting land. if you want to call and leave me funny messages on my cell phone, i will be so happy when i get them. and i will even return your phone call! yay.
confirmation retreat was a ton of fun, really. i didn't cry, none of the kids cried, and i'm pretty sure that we all learned something. thank God for favors large and small.
i feel like i have some big story i'm supposed to tell you, but i can't think on one right now, so i guess i'll log off and get back to work.
life is good.
mil besos--rachel
04 January 2005
geeze, oh man
well kids, it's 2005. can you believe that? 2005, man. that's bizarre.
this is the year i turn 27... dammit. i guess it's better than being dead, though.
i hope you all had a fabulous new year's celebration. i was quite happy to see a) texas a&m get their asses handed back to them( i was praying for a shut out, but God is merciful even to fran. thankfully, bear bryant is not) b) the University of Texas had a stunning last minute win in the only non-corporately sponsored bowl, for which i was very grateful, and c) people from high school, some of whom i had not seen in literally YEARS. whooo hooo and cheers.
i also learned something between the late night hours of dec. 31st and the early morning hours of january 1st. and it's this-- if you make the commitment to drink scotch at the beginning of the evening, stick with it. resist the urge to switch to champagne (ok, ok, it was sparkling white). otherwise, you will end up calling one of your nearest and dearest and yelling random bits of advice (most of which were probably not needed) and not making much sense. you also may spend a lot of time leaving voice mails for people who will laugh at them the next day. that's kind of nice, but in a sort of annoying way. so, make your committment, and stick to it. also, hydration is a good thing. even if it means you spend 25% of the night peeing, running to pee, or running back from peeing. the lack of headache the next day is well worth it. however, if you choose to be a moron and smoke a whole entire pack of mentholated cigarettes, you deserve to feel like you spent the whole night licking a cat's ass. btw, for those of you keeping score at home, this lady is four days nicotine free. whoo hooo. if you want to know who to thank, thank Baby Nels' parents for getting knocked up in time to save me from myself.
i'm still recovering from christmas crud, just in time to run out to the cedar forrest of new braunfels to teach my little angels all about the sacrament of confirmation. oh joy. no, i really do like the teaching end of things. it's a lot of fun when they get it. and when they don't get it, well, it's kind of like having splinters shoved under your fingernails and then getting a lemon juice manicure. i'm hopeful that they get it. in any case, i'll keep you posted.
life is good.
mil besos--r
this is the year i turn 27... dammit. i guess it's better than being dead, though.
i hope you all had a fabulous new year's celebration. i was quite happy to see a) texas a&m get their asses handed back to them( i was praying for a shut out, but God is merciful even to fran. thankfully, bear bryant is not) b) the University of Texas had a stunning last minute win in the only non-corporately sponsored bowl, for which i was very grateful, and c) people from high school, some of whom i had not seen in literally YEARS. whooo hooo and cheers.
i also learned something between the late night hours of dec. 31st and the early morning hours of january 1st. and it's this-- if you make the commitment to drink scotch at the beginning of the evening, stick with it. resist the urge to switch to champagne (ok, ok, it was sparkling white). otherwise, you will end up calling one of your nearest and dearest and yelling random bits of advice (most of which were probably not needed) and not making much sense. you also may spend a lot of time leaving voice mails for people who will laugh at them the next day. that's kind of nice, but in a sort of annoying way. so, make your committment, and stick to it. also, hydration is a good thing. even if it means you spend 25% of the night peeing, running to pee, or running back from peeing. the lack of headache the next day is well worth it. however, if you choose to be a moron and smoke a whole entire pack of mentholated cigarettes, you deserve to feel like you spent the whole night licking a cat's ass. btw, for those of you keeping score at home, this lady is four days nicotine free. whoo hooo. if you want to know who to thank, thank Baby Nels' parents for getting knocked up in time to save me from myself.
i'm still recovering from christmas crud, just in time to run out to the cedar forrest of new braunfels to teach my little angels all about the sacrament of confirmation. oh joy. no, i really do like the teaching end of things. it's a lot of fun when they get it. and when they don't get it, well, it's kind of like having splinters shoved under your fingernails and then getting a lemon juice manicure. i'm hopeful that they get it. in any case, i'll keep you posted.
life is good.
mil besos--r
29 December 2004
five golden rings
happy fifth day of christmas.
i'm at work today, listening to nora jones on my computer, making phone calls to parents to ask for sponsors for next semester, and fighting off one monster allergy attack.
for those who may want to follow my every move during this upcoming holiday weekend, i'll be in greater metropolitan mcculloch county, at the weatherman-burson estate. i think i get cell phone service in brady, so call me if you want to say nice things, or tell me how pretty i am.
life is good- all of it is a gigantic question mark at this point in the ball game, and that's a little frusterating. it's hard to know that you're about to start shutting doors, and aren't sure which ones you need to begin opening. the good part is that up to this point in my life, i've always landed on my feet, so i see no reason why that trend should fail now. rest assured i'll keep you updated.
this year has been incredible. i've laughed and cried and learned so much. even though i never imagined my life would look like it does, i wouldn't trade a minute of it. i think about all the things i've seen this year, and i'm absolutely astounded at the variety of my experiences. all i have to do is flip through my blog and email folders to remember that there has been a lot of substance in the last 12 months-- it hasn't just been work and recovery from work.
life is a beautiful thing. thanks for being part of mine for another year.
merry christmas. jesus loves you. happy new year.
mil besos--rachel
i'm at work today, listening to nora jones on my computer, making phone calls to parents to ask for sponsors for next semester, and fighting off one monster allergy attack.
for those who may want to follow my every move during this upcoming holiday weekend, i'll be in greater metropolitan mcculloch county, at the weatherman-burson estate. i think i get cell phone service in brady, so call me if you want to say nice things, or tell me how pretty i am.
life is good- all of it is a gigantic question mark at this point in the ball game, and that's a little frusterating. it's hard to know that you're about to start shutting doors, and aren't sure which ones you need to begin opening. the good part is that up to this point in my life, i've always landed on my feet, so i see no reason why that trend should fail now. rest assured i'll keep you updated.
this year has been incredible. i've laughed and cried and learned so much. even though i never imagined my life would look like it does, i wouldn't trade a minute of it. i think about all the things i've seen this year, and i'm absolutely astounded at the variety of my experiences. all i have to do is flip through my blog and email folders to remember that there has been a lot of substance in the last 12 months-- it hasn't just been work and recovery from work.
life is a beautiful thing. thanks for being part of mine for another year.
merry christmas. jesus loves you. happy new year.
mil besos--rachel
15 December 2004
you pulled the string in my back, and out came chat
i know, horrible slacker. no update for a whole week. and i haven't even been out of town. i've just been going nuts trying to put a volunteer team together, get our christmas tree families taken care of, and trying to figure out how and when i'm going to do my christmas shopping. i've given up on the idea of decorating my apartment this year-- i'm not going to be there/haven't been there to enjoy it, nor to merit getting into the hall closet and dusting stuff off. not trying to be a grinch about it, but since i'm not hosting a party this year, it seems kind of like a waste of good energy.
in other news, i will be knee deep in snow by sunday. yay. i'm excited about the ski trip-- good friends, fun kids, and colorado. i've only been to the denver airport, so this is my first legit trip to colorado. i'm fairly excited. i just can't think about the fact that i'm leaving on friday, and won't be back until the 22nd. what was i thinking when i said i would sponsor this trip? probably i was thinking that between the 17th and the 22nd, i pretty much didn't want to be in the office.
during christmas, a church office is about the last place you'd ever want to be. the phone rings off the hook, and the people on the other end are determined to ask the stupidest questions imaginable-- like last year when some one called and wanted to know what time our 5pm christmas eve service started. yeah, they actually stated the time in their question. people start dropping like flies, too. so, you get totally inundated with funeral calls-- what time is so-and so's funeral? what's your flower policy? what's your parking situation? and it's not like i have to answer any of those calls, but listening to other people answer them, and watching the clergy scramble to deal with the fallout is enough to make you doubt that the christmas spirit is alive and well in the hearts of all mankind. blah.
i have to say that on sunday, i think i may have broken some kind of a quantity record for items/poundage cooked. no, seriously.
let me tell you about it, because i still don't entirely believe all of it myself.
so for ski trip, i drew spaghetti night as my night to cook. i was instructed to cook the pasta before hand, since it takes like 8 hours to make a pot of water boil that high in the mountains, and i'd have to boil enough water to cook enough pasta to feed 48 hungry skiers. so, i cooked 14 lbs of spaghetti on sunday, before my youth group kids showed. that's 7 gallon glad-lock bags full of pasta, in case you needed a different measure to picture. needless to say, there have been no pasta cravings this week. in fact, i think i may have just thrown up a little bit thinking about it...
after i got the pots cleaned out and washed (thank God the church has a commercial kitchen), it was time to get ready for our youth group service project. every second sunday is a service project, and we have chosen Mobile Loaves and Fishes as our outlet. they are a mobile soup kitchen from St. John Neumann Catholic Church. very cool people. and we send them boiled eggs every month. a lot of boiled eggs. like on sunday, we boiled 9.5 dozen. the whole kitchen, and later my car, smelled like a giant fart. i hate the way boiled egg smell lingers in my car after i drop them off at the loading dock. it's gross. that's why i keep a dryer sheet under each seat. eww.
in addition to the eggs, we also make cookies. why? because everyone needs a cookie, that's why. and because it takes some effort to make a cookie, even if they are slice and bake. and people who are down on their luck need to know that someone is making some effort on their behalf. and cookies are a creature comfort that we can provide. cookies can be a great equalizer, if you think about it.
so, since it's christmas, i let the junior high kids decorate a whole gigantic wad of sugar cookies. we left a few undecorated, too. just to be nice, i guess. i saved the chocolate chips cookies for my high school kids. they were masters of efficiency. and they were so funny! we made and made and made cookies, eight pans at a time, on both sides of the oven. at the end of the evening, when we counted up, including the junior high cookies, we had made 55 dozen. that's a lot. i was very proud of them.
life is good.
mil besos-rachel
in other news, i will be knee deep in snow by sunday. yay. i'm excited about the ski trip-- good friends, fun kids, and colorado. i've only been to the denver airport, so this is my first legit trip to colorado. i'm fairly excited. i just can't think about the fact that i'm leaving on friday, and won't be back until the 22nd. what was i thinking when i said i would sponsor this trip? probably i was thinking that between the 17th and the 22nd, i pretty much didn't want to be in the office.
during christmas, a church office is about the last place you'd ever want to be. the phone rings off the hook, and the people on the other end are determined to ask the stupidest questions imaginable-- like last year when some one called and wanted to know what time our 5pm christmas eve service started. yeah, they actually stated the time in their question. people start dropping like flies, too. so, you get totally inundated with funeral calls-- what time is so-and so's funeral? what's your flower policy? what's your parking situation? and it's not like i have to answer any of those calls, but listening to other people answer them, and watching the clergy scramble to deal with the fallout is enough to make you doubt that the christmas spirit is alive and well in the hearts of all mankind. blah.
i have to say that on sunday, i think i may have broken some kind of a quantity record for items/poundage cooked. no, seriously.
let me tell you about it, because i still don't entirely believe all of it myself.
so for ski trip, i drew spaghetti night as my night to cook. i was instructed to cook the pasta before hand, since it takes like 8 hours to make a pot of water boil that high in the mountains, and i'd have to boil enough water to cook enough pasta to feed 48 hungry skiers. so, i cooked 14 lbs of spaghetti on sunday, before my youth group kids showed. that's 7 gallon glad-lock bags full of pasta, in case you needed a different measure to picture. needless to say, there have been no pasta cravings this week. in fact, i think i may have just thrown up a little bit thinking about it...
after i got the pots cleaned out and washed (thank God the church has a commercial kitchen), it was time to get ready for our youth group service project. every second sunday is a service project, and we have chosen Mobile Loaves and Fishes as our outlet. they are a mobile soup kitchen from St. John Neumann Catholic Church. very cool people. and we send them boiled eggs every month. a lot of boiled eggs. like on sunday, we boiled 9.5 dozen. the whole kitchen, and later my car, smelled like a giant fart. i hate the way boiled egg smell lingers in my car after i drop them off at the loading dock. it's gross. that's why i keep a dryer sheet under each seat. eww.
in addition to the eggs, we also make cookies. why? because everyone needs a cookie, that's why. and because it takes some effort to make a cookie, even if they are slice and bake. and people who are down on their luck need to know that someone is making some effort on their behalf. and cookies are a creature comfort that we can provide. cookies can be a great equalizer, if you think about it.
so, since it's christmas, i let the junior high kids decorate a whole gigantic wad of sugar cookies. we left a few undecorated, too. just to be nice, i guess. i saved the chocolate chips cookies for my high school kids. they were masters of efficiency. and they were so funny! we made and made and made cookies, eight pans at a time, on both sides of the oven. at the end of the evening, when we counted up, including the junior high cookies, we had made 55 dozen. that's a lot. i was very proud of them.
life is good.
mil besos-rachel
02 December 2004
happy birthday, general theory of relativity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_theory_of_relativity
i'll give five bucks to the first person who can explain this theory using every day examples that don't include donuts, records, coffee, or caramel.
mil besos--rmg
i'll give five bucks to the first person who can explain this theory using every day examples that don't include donuts, records, coffee, or caramel.
mil besos--rmg
30 November 2004
phoenix-- an existential musing
you know, the phoenix is an interesting symbol. for those of you who aren't familiar with the legend of the phoenix, here's a great link to catch up--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix . i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm totally on board with that right now. i'm wondering which parts of my life are the ashes from which something new will be born, which parts of my life are the nest, and which parts of my life are the left-overs that will be embalmed and bourne away.
i have a lot of questions. and in my pursuit of answers, i am asking a lot of my nearest and dearest, what on the surface seems like random and goofy, questions. most of them center around me. i know, i know, i need to get over myself. and in order to do that, i (get ready, holy crap, this is the kind of thing i only say once in a blue moon) need your help.
so, in no particular order, here are some questions you can answer, if you choose. you may hit comment on the bottom of this post, or you may respond to me by email: rachiepoo78@yahoo.com.
1) if you could choose one job for me to do for the next four years of my life, what would it be?
***seminary is not an option to be used at this time. period***
2) if you could choose one job that i should never do, not in a million years, what would it be?
3) if you could choose one city for me to live in for the next four years of my life, where would it be?
ok, this is scientific, so be honest. i'll post results and other things soon.
mil besos-rachel
i have a lot of questions. and in my pursuit of answers, i am asking a lot of my nearest and dearest, what on the surface seems like random and goofy, questions. most of them center around me. i know, i know, i need to get over myself. and in order to do that, i (get ready, holy crap, this is the kind of thing i only say once in a blue moon) need your help.
so, in no particular order, here are some questions you can answer, if you choose. you may hit comment on the bottom of this post, or you may respond to me by email: rachiepoo78@yahoo.com.
1) if you could choose one job for me to do for the next four years of my life, what would it be?
***seminary is not an option to be used at this time. period***
2) if you could choose one job that i should never do, not in a million years, what would it be?
3) if you could choose one city for me to live in for the next four years of my life, where would it be?
ok, this is scientific, so be honest. i'll post results and other things soon.
mil besos-rachel
18 November 2004
back east
i've been in virginia since monday night. it's been a blast. mostly, i've been at the seminary in alexandria looking at curriculum for my rotten ungrateful children. i found the things i want to use, and am actually excited about implementation and planning. yay. and i've been hanging out with friends and catching up on their stories. and riding the metro into dc. i miss that town.
what a great place, seriously. it's messy and busy and full of noise and i love it. i ate chinese food at my favorite hole in the wall in china town-- the new big wong. seriously, that's the name of the place. it's on H street nw, you should go there sometime. get the general tso's chicken with a bowl of hot and sour soup-- you will not be dissappointed.
and last night, oh night of nights... i met my old roommate melissa, and after tea and sympathy at her precious house in our old neigborhood, we metroed to shaw for one of the great meals in the history of western civilization.
at 14th and U street NW, in the dc, there is a lovely little spot, framed in yellow and red. it's ben's chili bowl. you can google the name, and go see their website. it will make you very hungry and jealous that i used to get to eat there all the time. when i worked about three blocks from ben's, way back in the day, i would go in and get a chocolate milk shake with extra chocolate about twice a week. that's one reason my ass stayed the exact same size from san marcos to dc and back. those damn shakes... nectar of the gods, that's what.
those milk shakes may very well have helped me keep my sanity. lord knows there was precious little of it left by the time i moved back to the terra firma of texas. milk shakes, cheese fries, and half-smokes drenched in chili. yay.
there was a guy named rob who worked behind the counter, and every time my old office mate and dear friend hope would hit the door, rob would start making our order-- a cherry shake for hope, a chocolate one for me, one half-smoke split down the middle, and an order of cheese fries with two forks. and by the time the two of us had finished filling the incredible juke box in the corner full of funk in the way only two really sheltered white girls can, our order would be sitting on the counter, between our two favorite stools. and even on days that were bad days, the lights and grease and friendly conversation in that place would wrap us up in familiar smells and laughter, and enable us to brave the harsh environs of the office of the farting boss. ahh, nostalgia.
in other news, you MUST see (read that--run, don't walk to your nearest video store or netflix cue) True Stories. this is the funniest movie i have seen in ages. it's so off-beat, so bizarre, and so circa 1986 mocumentary that i may have to buy my own copy. for those of you who grew up in brady, have ever been to brady, or have ever heard me tell a story about brady--you must see this movie, because you will know just about everyone in it. as an aside about small town humour, tuna christmas is playing at the kennedy center right now. what a hoot!!
ok, gots to run and eat and go catch a plane. pray delta doesn't loose my bags between here and atlanta and on to austin. catch you on the flippy.
mil besos--r
what a great place, seriously. it's messy and busy and full of noise and i love it. i ate chinese food at my favorite hole in the wall in china town-- the new big wong. seriously, that's the name of the place. it's on H street nw, you should go there sometime. get the general tso's chicken with a bowl of hot and sour soup-- you will not be dissappointed.
and last night, oh night of nights... i met my old roommate melissa, and after tea and sympathy at her precious house in our old neigborhood, we metroed to shaw for one of the great meals in the history of western civilization.
at 14th and U street NW, in the dc, there is a lovely little spot, framed in yellow and red. it's ben's chili bowl. you can google the name, and go see their website. it will make you very hungry and jealous that i used to get to eat there all the time. when i worked about three blocks from ben's, way back in the day, i would go in and get a chocolate milk shake with extra chocolate about twice a week. that's one reason my ass stayed the exact same size from san marcos to dc and back. those damn shakes... nectar of the gods, that's what.
those milk shakes may very well have helped me keep my sanity. lord knows there was precious little of it left by the time i moved back to the terra firma of texas. milk shakes, cheese fries, and half-smokes drenched in chili. yay.
there was a guy named rob who worked behind the counter, and every time my old office mate and dear friend hope would hit the door, rob would start making our order-- a cherry shake for hope, a chocolate one for me, one half-smoke split down the middle, and an order of cheese fries with two forks. and by the time the two of us had finished filling the incredible juke box in the corner full of funk in the way only two really sheltered white girls can, our order would be sitting on the counter, between our two favorite stools. and even on days that were bad days, the lights and grease and friendly conversation in that place would wrap us up in familiar smells and laughter, and enable us to brave the harsh environs of the office of the farting boss. ahh, nostalgia.
in other news, you MUST see (read that--run, don't walk to your nearest video store or netflix cue) True Stories. this is the funniest movie i have seen in ages. it's so off-beat, so bizarre, and so circa 1986 mocumentary that i may have to buy my own copy. for those of you who grew up in brady, have ever been to brady, or have ever heard me tell a story about brady--you must see this movie, because you will know just about everyone in it. as an aside about small town humour, tuna christmas is playing at the kennedy center right now. what a hoot!!
ok, gots to run and eat and go catch a plane. pray delta doesn't loose my bags between here and atlanta and on to austin. catch you on the flippy.
mil besos--r
03 November 2004
porcelain chariot
let me tell you, election night is probably one of my favorite nights, ever. it's almost better than christmas, except for the Jesus part, and it only comes around every four years. but last night, fate dealt me a cruel blow, and i'm not just talking about the fact that half the people i voted for tanked.
no, last night, in between blearily gazing at the trusted face of peter jennings, i was calling the dinosaurs of old. i got the old fashioned third-grade variety 24-hour bug. you know the one-- throw-up everything you've eaten in the last 7 years, lay on the cold bathroom floor, praying for death, wishing like hell you still lived at home so your mom could bring you a cold wash cloth and sympathy, being tempted to eat something so you wouldn't have to yark up your toenails. oh yeah, that's the one. i knew you'd know what i was talking about.
i was glad, well sort of, to see the light of day this morning. i agree with John Kerry about many things. and while i was sad to see him go down in the polls, i was glad for the dialogue that has been started in this great nation. i agree with him that the greatest prayer we can pray today is "God bless America". and i hope that the next four years can be about people meeting each other, people talking and sharing with each other. i hope the next four years aren't met with more division, more rancor, more intolerance. i hope the next four years can be spent talking about what's going right, making more things go right, and i hope we can talk about love and understanding, with out having to legislate what that all means.
end of rant. i need to drink some more gatorade, and get my head together for my high school kids tonight.
smooches to all-rmg
no, last night, in between blearily gazing at the trusted face of peter jennings, i was calling the dinosaurs of old. i got the old fashioned third-grade variety 24-hour bug. you know the one-- throw-up everything you've eaten in the last 7 years, lay on the cold bathroom floor, praying for death, wishing like hell you still lived at home so your mom could bring you a cold wash cloth and sympathy, being tempted to eat something so you wouldn't have to yark up your toenails. oh yeah, that's the one. i knew you'd know what i was talking about.
i was glad, well sort of, to see the light of day this morning. i agree with John Kerry about many things. and while i was sad to see him go down in the polls, i was glad for the dialogue that has been started in this great nation. i agree with him that the greatest prayer we can pray today is "God bless America". and i hope that the next four years can be about people meeting each other, people talking and sharing with each other. i hope the next four years aren't met with more division, more rancor, more intolerance. i hope the next four years can be spent talking about what's going right, making more things go right, and i hope we can talk about love and understanding, with out having to legislate what that all means.
end of rant. i need to drink some more gatorade, and get my head together for my high school kids tonight.
smooches to all-rmg
01 November 2004
in thanksgiving for the souls of all faithful departed...
well, it's that frequently forgotten holiday that gets sandwiched in between the sugar orgy that is halloween and the turkey--gobbling binge that is thanksgiving. it's all saints' day today-- incidentally one of my very favorite of all church holidays. it's a good time to remember those who have gone before us, and to be thankful for their influence in our lives. it's a nice day, without being all sad and droopy. except that the weather today, combined with my allergies is making me a little droopy, nonetheless.
you know, there are a thousand ways a person can die. and i don't mean just die like cease to respire. sometimes people die out of our lives through no fault of their own-- people grow away from each other; not every relationship has the shel-life of a twinkee. sometimes people move away, and distance proves too wide to cross. sometimes people turn into other things, and we realize that things are not what they were, things will not be better, and it's just time to cash out and cut our losses. and yes, sadly, sometimes people just really do die. but being sad about any of those things for very long is just as bad as not being sad at all.
case in point-- there was a girl (that's me), who once upon a time loved a young man very much (that's him). and the girl and the boy were very good friends, and sometimes were other things. and there was much phone calling, and letter writing, and email sending, and present giving, and votes were cast, and stars were read, and prayers were prayed, and futures were discussed. and one day, the girl and the young man woke up to find that both of their worlds and views had very much changed, and that nothing they thought they had in common was really in common any more, except for the fact that they kind of knew some of the same people, and were in a lot of photographs together. but the things that had kept them up for hours talking and sharing now just kept them up for hours arguing and trying to score points. and so they became ghosts to each other.
would you believe that last week i walked right by that ghost? and i was greatful. greatful for what i've learned, for what i've seen. i was greatful that i've learned to stand on my own two feet, and that i'm not scared any more that someone might leave if i say or do or believe the wrong thing. it's good to not be scared anymore. sometimes the scariest things about ghosts are what they show us of ourselves-- and it was good to see that the other side of me is doing ok-- not that it's all in the bag, but hey, i didn't throw up like i thought i might, and i enjoyed my evening out with a dear friend. and you know what? i hope the ghostie enjoyed his night out, too.
at any rate, thanks for listening.
mil besos--r
you know, there are a thousand ways a person can die. and i don't mean just die like cease to respire. sometimes people die out of our lives through no fault of their own-- people grow away from each other; not every relationship has the shel-life of a twinkee. sometimes people move away, and distance proves too wide to cross. sometimes people turn into other things, and we realize that things are not what they were, things will not be better, and it's just time to cash out and cut our losses. and yes, sadly, sometimes people just really do die. but being sad about any of those things for very long is just as bad as not being sad at all.
case in point-- there was a girl (that's me), who once upon a time loved a young man very much (that's him). and the girl and the boy were very good friends, and sometimes were other things. and there was much phone calling, and letter writing, and email sending, and present giving, and votes were cast, and stars were read, and prayers were prayed, and futures were discussed. and one day, the girl and the young man woke up to find that both of their worlds and views had very much changed, and that nothing they thought they had in common was really in common any more, except for the fact that they kind of knew some of the same people, and were in a lot of photographs together. but the things that had kept them up for hours talking and sharing now just kept them up for hours arguing and trying to score points. and so they became ghosts to each other.
would you believe that last week i walked right by that ghost? and i was greatful. greatful for what i've learned, for what i've seen. i was greatful that i've learned to stand on my own two feet, and that i'm not scared any more that someone might leave if i say or do or believe the wrong thing. it's good to not be scared anymore. sometimes the scariest things about ghosts are what they show us of ourselves-- and it was good to see that the other side of me is doing ok-- not that it's all in the bag, but hey, i didn't throw up like i thought i might, and i enjoyed my evening out with a dear friend. and you know what? i hope the ghostie enjoyed his night out, too.
at any rate, thanks for listening.
mil besos--r
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