year in review 2007

everyone is sleeping, except for me. mommy and grammy are snuggled in with my little chunk of a nephew, little bro and sister-in-law are snuggled down across the hall. and i'm sitting at grammy's computer pecking away to add to my blog. christmas comes almost a week late for our clan, and we're totally fine with that. there are, need i remind you, 12 days of christmas, and we celebrate them all. make sure and keep all those live christmas trees and greenery for the big epiphany bonfire on January 6th (which is also JJD3's anniversary into the priest-hood).

so, here we are, friends and neighbors, at the close of another year. i must say, it's been quite an adventure, at least on this end. let's recap, shall we?

January--rachipoo makes her first mortgage payment, after closing on the barbie townhouse in the alamo city. on her first night in her new home, the skies open and rain cats and dogs. rachiepoo realizes that her newly bought roof leaks, right on to the floor beside her bed. she frantically calls her home owner's association manager, and is pleased to find out that this is not her problem, and aside from a slightly damp spot on her carpet, all will be resolved. rachiepoo thanks the baby Jesus for condo living, and vows to never complain about her HOA dues, ever again. at least until february. also in january, rachiepoo joins a gym so she can squeeze herself into yet another bridesmaid dress in april. for those of you playing the "at home" addition of adventures in rachiepoo, please move your wedding token to the number 13 spot. do not skip ahead to the altar portion of that section. it's just not your turn yet.

February--rachipoo works a lot in february. she also celebrates her mother's birthday. and bk's birthday. and she eats pancakes on shrove tuesday. she also begins teaching in chapel as part of her job. she learns that she has what might be termed as "anxiety" about this venture, because she begins spending most of her monday nights and early tuesday mornings worrying about what she will say to the children about the baby Jesus. she hopes she will remember to be orthodox and not say outlandish things that might get her into trouble.

february also brought with it a new discovery. identity theft can even happen to rachiepoo. she is very much dismayed. after several calls to the bank and a frantic call to her mother, she meets her new best friend, her personal banker, who presses lots of buttons and suddenly makes everything better. and she gets her money back. rachiepoo begins keeping all her mail. she also begins saving up for a shredder, and begins to wonder if she can begin a cottage industry selling hamster cage liner to expedite paying for said shredder. she is very glad that february only has 28 days this year.

March--rachiepoo worked alot in march as well. in fact, she worked so much that she doesn't really remember much about march at all. she paid bills, saw friends, and talked on the phone. a lot.

April--rachiepoo pays her taxes, and wonders where all that money went. rachiepoo is in her 13th wedding. it is at the beach. hilarity ensues, and whilst looking something like a doric pickle, she managed to carry off her duties with some sense of grace in tact. she also manages to spill a margarita on her dress. further hilarity ensues. upon returning from the beach wedding (congratulations koehlers!!), she has bestowed upon her a cat. jinx becomes part of rachiepoo's world. after a warming period, marked by jinx's being extremly emotionally needed and equally extremly afraid of the full length mirror in rachiepoo's hall way, the two of them become fast friends. also in april, the birth of ella the wonder girl expands the female population of women on the paternal side of rachiepoo's family to lucky number 7. there is much rejoicing. a girl, finally!

May--rachiepoo celebrates cinco de mayo in the district of columbia. she eats at ben's chili bowl a record four times in three days. that's right. four times. she is happy and excited and sleep-deprived (quite willingly) with missy and caro and alex. there is much frivolity involving a blanket and a pair of eye glasses. there is also chinese food (a trip to the hood, included, for free), some cookies, lots of walking, and a trip to the new spy museum. a sideways trip to the shenendoah valley also occurs. la fonda the honda experiences a runaway truck lane. bladder control is threatened numerous times. airline miles have rarely been spent for such a worthy occasion.

may is, as some of you may recall, the time when rachiepoo is drawn indelibly back to alabama. she is happy to see her granny and papaw, her uncle pedro and aunt inez, her cousins anna and mia, their husbands gene and archie, their children austin (keep austin weird, ya'll), and ella the wonder girl. she is also happy to see her various other semi-family folk. she teaches austin the capital of new mexico, and that a pirate's favorite letter is "arrrrh". she also attempts a swimming lesson that both rachiepoo and austin agree ended badly. fortunately, austin later enrolls in a class at the "y", and is now slated to be the youngest swimmer at the 2008 summer olympics. rachiepoo is excited about going to china to cheer him on, if he will let her anywhere near him.

rachiepoo's friend lala moves in for the summer, until lala's husband can move to san antonio. much hilarity and wine drinking occurs on the balconey. rachiepoo and lala also discover that jinx is very afraid of lala's dog, roxy. roxy, however, discovers an unrequited love for jinx, or at least for the treats he leaves for her in the cat box. more hilarity ensues.

June--rachiepoo works alot in june, again. she also has to learn some hard things about working with sweet old people, i.e. they keep getting older, and as they do this, they sometimes die. rachiepoo does not like this lesson, but grits her teeth, and learns it anyway. what's the alternative choice, really? rachiepoo also enjoys a wonderful family reunion with her mother's family. she is surrounded by small children and grown ups that she loves. she hears lots of stories, laughs a lot, and is reminded that a kiddie pool in the backyard ALWAYS equals a party. she is fascinated by her cousins and nephew dressing up in her old dress-up clothes. she is slightly nostalgic, but in a good way.

june also brings another huge benchmark to rachiepoo's life. she drives all the way back to btex to attend her 10th high school reunion. she stays at chez weatherman. she stays up very late and hears and tells many stories. she laughs. a lot. and is glad that, in spite of her initial misgivings, she attends the party. rachiepoo and lala continue to drink wine on the balconey, occasionally joined by jax and kirby. even more hilairity and lots of existential ramblings occur.

July--rachipoo goes to mexico on a mission trip. her life is radically changed. she wants to go back. a lot. she plays with kids, wishes she could recall more spanish, and enjoys coca-cola made with real sugar. she also drives a van load full of people to the market one day. she is very afraid, but is suprisingly, not the worst driver on the road that day. she is very glad to not have to drive to the market everyday. she buys her little chunk of a nephew a very cute soccer uniform, which later becomes his favorite article of clothing, cementing her place as "greatest auntie ever". rachiepoo loves her time in mexico, but is also very glad to come home and sleep in her own bed and drink from the tap with no fear of explosive bowels.

August--rachiepoo works a lot in august. she pays bills. she sees friends. she says goodbye to her summer crush. she learns that crushes are nice to have, but are nicer to be over. she is very glad to learn this lesson. rachiepoo also goes to a fun party at her friend joy's house, where she is accosted by a pseudo-politico who tries to find out about rachiepoo's political beliefs. luckily, rachiepoo knows better than to talk about politics in mixed company, and instead tells some funny stories to throw people off track. she gets home very late, but is glad to have gone to a lovely party.

September--rachiepoo, for the second time in less than a calendar year, follows the herd back to btex for goat cook off. ryanegro and bean are there, so what's not to like? bean's new manfriend is there, also. rachiepoo has to face down an old ghost, and totally wusses out and hightails herself through the arts and crafts mosh pit to avoid a potentially very uncomfortable situation. she is very gratified to know that cutting and running, is in fact, in her blood. she and ryanegro and the bean and the man friend and the reinisch folk have a stunningly good time. she stays up too late. she may have had a little bourbon. she also stays at chez weatherman, again. she is glad she went. she even ate some goat.

birthdays are always a good time, (happy b-day to momo, kirby, aunt inez, and jax!)and while 29 was rather anti-climactic for rachipoo, she manages to keep herself in good running order. she is plotting next year's big day before the flan is even cooled on her plate.

October--rachiepoo works a lot in october. she sees friends in austin. she wishes her friends all lived in san antonio, so she could only drive across town to see them. lala and her husband (t, to his friends) buy a house. lala moves out. rachiepoo is sad. but lala manages to still come over and drink wine. rachiepoo is pacified. rachiepoo also has a mini-showdown with one of her co-workers. using her outstanding skills in pacification and diplomacy, rachiepoo extracts an apology, and is sure that she will never have to walk down that road again. at least for another month. rachiepoo loses another old person. boo. and yay. it's a mixed bag. rachiepoo also celebrates her little brother's birthday and her sister-in-law's birthday, and her birthday. her family really likes combined celebrations. she also sends her granny some flowers on HER birthday. yay.

october brought with it another addition to rachiepoo's universe. juju the hyper tiger kitten comes to be jinx's baby. juju is very small, and very fast, and has very, very, very sharp teeth. rachiepoo's legs have not been this cut up since she was learning to shave. jinx occasionally looks up at her, and asks "why did you do this to us? we were so happy, once." rachiepoo's mother is quick to remind her that juju is a baby, and just needs some getting used to. rachiepoo takes this to heart, fills a squrit bottle with water, and attempts, night after night, to tame the beast. rachiepoo spends a couple of nights in her guest room, just the same, and begins considering renaming juju "chorizo".

halloween, apart from hanging out with lala and t, is a real let-down. rachiepoo discovers that it's really just for the kids, and she feels slightly ripped off. christmas decorations appear the next morning. what the hell, people?

November--rachiepoo celebrates one year of gainful employment at the church of st.'s adirol and ritalin. she is still very happy to have her job. she is ordered to go fold laundry on one of her old people visits. she is not altogether pleased with this, but since one of her old people died, she folds the close with a very tight smile on her face. november, in her mother's and grammy's town means only one thing--a ten day salute to sausage. rachiepoo does her duty as a townie, and goes to wurstfest. she and grammy and mom and aunt sue all laugh. a lot. rachiepoo foregoes the funnel cake. she is a little disappointed, but knows her pants will thank her later. 12 members of the mother clan gather to eat the roasted turkey. rachiepoo is, as ever, the designated dressing taster. the dressing comes out wonderfully and is applauded by all. much eating occurs. rachiepoo has to take a nap. rachiepoo also discovers that she still holds amazing sway over her 14 year-old cousin. cousin anna's pregnancy is moving along nicely. rachiepoo is stoked about seeing a new baby in may. YAY!

December--rachiepoo works alot. a lot. she is on a search committee for a new assistant priest for st's. a &r. she enjoys this more than she should. she continues to make lots of visits to her sweet old people, who for the moment, are suprisingly healtly. she is very thankful. rachiepoo preaches a sermon to the kindergarten class and compares Jesus the Grown-Up to bob the bulider. she waits for calls from irate parents. none come, that she knows of...yet. she is very relieved. half-price books garners a gain in sales, as rachiepoo cannot seem to read enough. she badly wraps her family's presents, and thinks that next year, she should just invest in cute bags and coordinating tissue paper. she thinks her lack of technique may have something to do with kirby forcing her to drink a bottle of champagne against her will and watch old 80's movies on her vhs player. rachiepoo also remembers to take her daily vitamin and her calcium supplement, and is amazed at how well this makes her feel. she also begins a list of new year's resolutions that she hope she can keep until at least MLK weekend.

and that, my dear people, is the year that was 2007. 2008 looms large, and i hope it's filled with many laughs and good stories and new memories for all of us. i hope you got what you wanted for Christmas. i know i did, and i still have stuff to unwrap. i got each of you--on my side, in my heart, in my head, and in my prayers. and that is so much more than enough. good night, er, morning.

mil besos--rmg

christmas songs

it's monday. i am trying to not do as much work as possible today, because i know the next week is going to be insane, and i'm trying to conserve energy. it's not as slack-tastic as i'm making it sound. i am doing my transportation report. and i'm working on two calendars for old people who need rides to church. and i'm making appointments for christmas communion. i'm just not going anywhere today. and i'm pretty sure that if i don't iron clothes tonight, there's a high probability that i will end up teaching chapel in my sock monkey pajamas tomorrow morning.

so, this close to the end of the year, everyone makes lists about favorite christmas movies, favorite christmas gifts, etc. this year, i'm hopping on the band-wagon to bring you my favorite non-religious christmas songs. don't get me wrong, i LOVE the religious christmas songs (i am epsicopalian, for heaven's sake, we even sing advent carols...), but the non-religious ones are some of my favorites. there are also some non-christmas songs on the list, which i'll explain. i'm feeling chatty today. deal with it. you people live for this stuff.

1) war is over--john lennon and yoko ono. this is absolutely my favorite christmas-time song. it's wonderful. it makes me happy. i will roll down the windows, crank up the heater, and sing at the top of my lungs. the celine dion version, however, makes me want to punch through my eardrums with an icepick and drip lemon juice into the festering hole.

2) all that i want--the weepies. LOVE THIS SONG. yes, i realize it's the jingle from the jc penney's commercial. i could care less. this is one of my favorite i-tunes purchases. it's so, so, so pretty. and i like to believe that one day, i will know what that song means. aww.

3) go places--the new pornographers. this is a great song for any season, but it's a waltz, and that makes it automatically christmassy, to me.

4) river--joni mitchell. the ultimate break-up song, featuring a christmas theme, and it always makes me think of "love actually", even though this song was not featured in the soundtrack. this is a wonderful song, no matter who is singing it--indigo girls or sarah mclaughlin. it's beautiful, and haunting, and it just hurts so good.

5) long december-- counting crows. haunting melody, haunting lyrics. adam duritz makes me a little bit weak-kneed, i'll admit. i'm a sucker for a man in dreadlocks. i like this song, a lot, because in spite of the maudlin tone, it's actually quite hopeful. and after all, isn't that what christmas is all about--hope?

6) babylon--david gray. i bought this cd the christmas i lived in washington, dc. every time i hear this song, i remember the smell of snow, and going downtown to pick out presents to bring home to my family. and i remember how happy i was to be going home.

7) good king wenceslas--i know it's technically a church song, but I LOVE THIS SONG. and if you sing it with a lisp, kind of loud and obnoxious on an airplane, your mother will laugh so hard that she could possibly loose bladder control. your brother might laugh til he cries. and the other passengers will look at you, and wonder how such a pretty face could belie such an empty head and whether or not you might have a shot at getting married to corky, from "life goes on".

8) santa baby--the eartha kitt version. my little tiny nephew knows some of the words to this one, and i think that's about the coolest thing i've ever heard in my life. he's a genius. he can now also sing "happy birthday" to the baby Jesus. he's the smartest kid in the world.

9) baby, it's cold outside--sarah vaughn and louis armstrong. i could listen to this song on repeat for at least a day and a half. i have fond memories of driving from austin to my mom's house, singing this song at the top of my lungs. there are some wonderful harmonies in this version. and anything by louis armstrong is cooler than cat pants.

10) have yourself a merry little christmas--james taylor. if the soundtrack to my childhood had to be sung by one person, james taylor would be the voice. i freaking love james taylor, but not in a scary stalking kind of way.

here are some songs that i will immediately change the station to avoid...

1) jingle bell rock. i HATE this song. my dislike for this song rivals my dislike of misogyny, xenophobia, hate crimes, and crushing poverty.

2) any and every christmas song ever covered by celine dion. i will throw up if i have to listen to more than 15 seconds of any given song. this is a proven fact. if you don't believe me, come over and i'll show you.

3) the little drummer boy. pa-rum-pah-pum-pum is an onomatopoeia that should never be sung by the human voice. it's a nice song, in theory. but i hate it. a lot. and the grace jones version scares the poop out of me.

4) i saw mommy kissing santa claus--this song is disturbing for a lot of reasons. but robert knox put it best when he said,-- "Apparently this kid is used to seeing his whore of a mother liplocked with another man. "Oh, what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night." These are the lyrics. What a laugh it would have been?! Hey kid! What a laugh it would've been to spend Christmas day at an orphanage wiping the remnants of a murder/suicide off your stocking! "-- too true mr. knox, too true.

5) jingle bells--barbra striesdand. while i will admit that babs is a guilty pleasure of mine (right up there with whitney houston, pre-crack out), this song is just awful. and i hate it when she sings it super-fast. it makes my heart beat really loudly in my ears, and i just know that at any moment, my head is going to explode in a cloud of confetti and candy, just like those christmas cracker things from england. ugh.

6) feliz navidad--jose feliciano. i know, i live in san antonio. i should love this song. the truth is, i can't stand this song. it's nasally. it's piped into every grocery store for a 1000 mile radius and plays 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. the accordion part is the real kicker for me. unless i'm listening to klezmer music (and wouldn't those be Hannukah caroles, anyway?), or doing the Santa Claus polka at Wurstfest, i want nothing to do with mixing christmas and accordions. not to mention that this song is so freaking ingrained in the subconscious of almost every single person i know, no one can keep from humming it or singing along quietly everytime they hear it. it's awesomely bad.

7) hard candy christmas--dolly parton. seriously? this song is part of the soundtrack to "the best little whorehouse in texas". should we be playing a song like this during the season of the birth of the Baby Jesus? it's from a movie with the word "whore" right in the title...and it's awful.

8) the 12 days of christmas--i realize that there are 12 days in the christmas season. i send my lazy christmas email instead of christmas cards during these 12 days. they save my bacon every year. but i hate this song. the only version i have ever liked was on my "john denver and the muppets sing christmas" cassette tape, which i would give my right big toe to have, again. it was awesome. otherwise, this song is like playing monopoly--it never freaking ends well. and when it's over, you wonder what happened to that two hours of your life, and try to reconcile the fact that you will never, ever get them back.

9) i'll be home for christmas--this is the MOST DEPRESSING SONG, ever. i feel like i need to go take an anti-depressant just thinking about it.

10) carol of the bells-- another song that just goes really, really fast and makes me nervous because i can't always understand all the words. this song makes me feel like i've had a venti latte with an extra four shots, seriously. i am getting a scary buzz just thinking about it. i feel bad about not liking this song, because it's got such a nice melody, and it's very difficult to sing. but it creeps me out. like there might be a bunch of scary elves with candle flashlights chasing me through target singing this song, and if i don't find the right paper to wrap presents in, they are going to turn me into a doll with big buggy eyes. scary. creepy. awful.

if i don't get back to work, the elves might come get me, anyway.

mil besos-rmg