well, i've reached the finish line, thanks be to God. today was my last official day as youth minister at the shep. sunday is my farewell/retirement party. i'm having a wide range of emotions, at the moment.
i'm caught somewhere between putting in my scissor sisters' cd and cracking open a bottle of champagne to celebrate being done and putting in a johnny cash cd and cracking open a bottle of jack daniels and being a little sad. what i will actually do is get a coke slurpee from 7-11, listen to james mcmurtry and some other mix cds and finish packing up my apartment. drinking alone is never a good idea, and i have a ton of stuff to do that is better done while not sweating out any kind of adult drink.
the last four years have been amazing. thanks for reading the blogs and email updates throughout. i'm not done with the blogs or the random emails, but they will be a different kind of flavor, probably. and thanks also for putting up with my endless stories about "my kids" at parties, on camping trips, in the car, etc. it goes without saying that they have brought so much to my life-- it's been an amazing ride. and in spite of the bittersweet that goes with saying goodbye to anything, i'm ready to stop riding for a while.
the picture taking and writing commences next week. so, keep your eyes peeled in the bathroom, and let me know if you find any gems. that way, you will be keeping me busy, and almost certainly guaranteeing yourself a visit from me. yay.
mil besos-rmg
29 July 2005
26 July 2005
this is like that one pixie's song...
you know the one i'm talking about, probably. if you've seen fight club. if you haven't, the rest of this post won't make much sense to you. but you should keep reading anyway, because i'm so tired that i'll probably say some funny things.
With your feet in the air
And your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind
Where is my mind
Where is my mind
that's the part in the movie when all the bank buildings start exploding and the entire world gets put on reset. i'm right there, kids. reset.
i am showing the apartment at 8 tonight, after my last meeting for work. my favorite kids keep dropping by and staying...and staying...and staying. it's kind of like the time i tried to quit smoking by chaining a whole pack in the hopes that i would just get sick of them and never want one again. the only thing THAT little experiment brought me was a raspy voice for about a week and a really over-stimulated nicotine drive. what THIS little experiment is getting me is way behind in my schedule of "Things To Do", but i love it, anyway. seriously, if i have to go to snow beach one more time, i am going to turn into a freaking wedding cake flavored snow cone.
my farting cherub has been right by my warm side since saturday, almost non-stop. i adore this kid. but he's such a pain in the ass, too. i will have a child this disgusting and wonderful this day, if G-d is merciful and humorus, at the same time. but he's working my nerves a little bit, too. he told me yesterday that he wanted to spend "pretty much every available minute hanging out until you leave..." what the hell? it's not like i'm dying. don't get me wrong, it's good to be loved, as well. but today, when i was trying to get my database synched up with the main database in the office, and the farting cherub was laying on the floor like a human rug and singing the sponge-bob song, i had some serious questions about whether or not i can, in fact, maintain some semblance of sanity for the rest of this week. sweet mother of mercy...
and then one of my drama queens has been by my warm side all week, as well. she's freaking about college and talking smack about the boy who broke up with her right after she took him to prom. and i have had to hear alot about rush clothes, which would be a stretch for me to listen to on a good day. the upside, this little drama queen left me the new US weekly, with jude law on the cover--which i haven't gotten to read in two days because of the packing madness, etc. and i don't care that he got busted with his nanny--i mean, i do care-- it's just further evidence of the decay of blah blah blah, what--i'm too tired to liberal rant--isn't that sick a little bit? at any rate he's beautiful to look at-- way, way, way far out of this lady's league, but still beautiful to view, despite the fact that he's a two-timing schmuck.
i have to go to one last vestry meeting. father rhoda says they have a treat for me...
i'll keep you posted.
mil besos-r
With your feet in the air
And your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
Where is my mind
Where is my mind
Where is my mind
that's the part in the movie when all the bank buildings start exploding and the entire world gets put on reset. i'm right there, kids. reset.
i am showing the apartment at 8 tonight, after my last meeting for work. my favorite kids keep dropping by and staying...and staying...and staying. it's kind of like the time i tried to quit smoking by chaining a whole pack in the hopes that i would just get sick of them and never want one again. the only thing THAT little experiment brought me was a raspy voice for about a week and a really over-stimulated nicotine drive. what THIS little experiment is getting me is way behind in my schedule of "Things To Do", but i love it, anyway. seriously, if i have to go to snow beach one more time, i am going to turn into a freaking wedding cake flavored snow cone.
my farting cherub has been right by my warm side since saturday, almost non-stop. i adore this kid. but he's such a pain in the ass, too. i will have a child this disgusting and wonderful this day, if G-d is merciful and humorus, at the same time. but he's working my nerves a little bit, too. he told me yesterday that he wanted to spend "pretty much every available minute hanging out until you leave..." what the hell? it's not like i'm dying. don't get me wrong, it's good to be loved, as well. but today, when i was trying to get my database synched up with the main database in the office, and the farting cherub was laying on the floor like a human rug and singing the sponge-bob song, i had some serious questions about whether or not i can, in fact, maintain some semblance of sanity for the rest of this week. sweet mother of mercy...
and then one of my drama queens has been by my warm side all week, as well. she's freaking about college and talking smack about the boy who broke up with her right after she took him to prom. and i have had to hear alot about rush clothes, which would be a stretch for me to listen to on a good day. the upside, this little drama queen left me the new US weekly, with jude law on the cover--which i haven't gotten to read in two days because of the packing madness, etc. and i don't care that he got busted with his nanny--i mean, i do care-- it's just further evidence of the decay of blah blah blah, what--i'm too tired to liberal rant--isn't that sick a little bit? at any rate he's beautiful to look at-- way, way, way far out of this lady's league, but still beautiful to view, despite the fact that he's a two-timing schmuck.
i have to go to one last vestry meeting. father rhoda says they have a treat for me...
i'll keep you posted.
mil besos-r
25 July 2005
simplify, simplify, simplify
the great transition of 2005 is in full swing. i'm about 1/4 moved, with a ton of stuff still to pack. derkerita is a genius for suggesting that i post up my sub-lease on craigslist, because i just might get it unloaded, now. my texas grandparents think they want to buy my car from me, and give me the townie for a trade-in. i changed my phone plan to a cheaper one (i still have a ridiculous amount of minutes, so don't stop calling). i need to cancel my gym membership so i can save a little jack. but, best of all, i have employment, again. i'll be my sweet baby a's care attendant, which i am very humbled and excited to do for him, his mom, and his brother. i am totally exhausted and can't wait to take a nap, but that will have to wait for a week or two. christmas looks promising...
life is good. i'm relishing the thought of packing up, leaving things packed for a while, and figuring out how and when and where to start fresh. it's daunting, but very exciting, as well. in the meantime, i'm spending a lot of time with my best kids. we are laughing, crying, packing, and telling stories. it's nice. but it also makes me a little more tired everytime i hang out with them. ah, the freaking irony.
i can't wait to start on the book. it's time.
mil besos-r
life is good. i'm relishing the thought of packing up, leaving things packed for a while, and figuring out how and when and where to start fresh. it's daunting, but very exciting, as well. in the meantime, i'm spending a lot of time with my best kids. we are laughing, crying, packing, and telling stories. it's nice. but it also makes me a little more tired everytime i hang out with them. ah, the freaking irony.
i can't wait to start on the book. it's time.
mil besos-r
22 July 2005
happy feast of st. mary magdalen
its july 22nd, and that can only mean one thing-- its time to celebrate the feast day of my favorite (and Jesus' favorite, too) saint, mary magdalen. yay for the mag. you can read all about her life and story on en.wikipedia.org.
in other news, but also related to womens' issues, i'd like to take this opportunity to thank George W. Bush for selling out all the "safety moms" who voted for him, some against their own better judgement, believing that he was invested in protecting our bodies, and not just our souls. what better way to thank these women for their votes of confidence than to recommend John Roberts, Jr. for the vacancy left by the only truly swing vote on the whole court, and one of my personal heros, Sandra Day O'Connor. it's kind of like trading in your cadillac for a yugo. it's going to be disappointing, but at least you'll suck as much as everyone else. i'm sure there are plenty of moderate women jurists out there who would have been more than good at a job on the bench. all i'm saying is that W. could use some street cred with the ladies, especially this lady. nominating a woman to fill the position, even if she were a crazy neo-con june cleaver who wanted nothing more than to vacuum in her pearls and crinolines, at least would have been throwing the huddled silent majority a freaking bone. and don't even get me started on the plame issue with regard to our good friend mr. rove. Lord, have mercy.
As an aside, and to make a comment which i am sure will make at least some of your blood boil, my dear readers... Why is it so important for this president to have supreme court justices who will read the consititution of the united states through the eyes of original intent, but not their bibles? just something to think about...i know i've been thinking about it. a lot.
end of rant. God bless us, everyone, even (and especially) the people i think are pin-heads.
mil besos-r
in other news, but also related to womens' issues, i'd like to take this opportunity to thank George W. Bush for selling out all the "safety moms" who voted for him, some against their own better judgement, believing that he was invested in protecting our bodies, and not just our souls. what better way to thank these women for their votes of confidence than to recommend John Roberts, Jr. for the vacancy left by the only truly swing vote on the whole court, and one of my personal heros, Sandra Day O'Connor. it's kind of like trading in your cadillac for a yugo. it's going to be disappointing, but at least you'll suck as much as everyone else. i'm sure there are plenty of moderate women jurists out there who would have been more than good at a job on the bench. all i'm saying is that W. could use some street cred with the ladies, especially this lady. nominating a woman to fill the position, even if she were a crazy neo-con june cleaver who wanted nothing more than to vacuum in her pearls and crinolines, at least would have been throwing the huddled silent majority a freaking bone. and don't even get me started on the plame issue with regard to our good friend mr. rove. Lord, have mercy.
As an aside, and to make a comment which i am sure will make at least some of your blood boil, my dear readers... Why is it so important for this president to have supreme court justices who will read the consititution of the united states through the eyes of original intent, but not their bibles? just something to think about...i know i've been thinking about it. a lot.
end of rant. God bless us, everyone, even (and especially) the people i think are pin-heads.
mil besos-r
21 July 2005
i can see the finish line
oh friends and neighbors, we are approaching the end of something. and while its a little sad, i'm mostly just ready to sleep for about a week. then i'll ponder.
yesterday, i did something i've never done before. i'd thought about it for a while, and had always passed over the idea and just gone back to my old methods. yesterday, i got my legs waxed. i'm left feeling the following: 1) i can't believe i just paid someone 30 bucks to put me through that. 2) i can't believe i didn't shave for two point five weeks. 3) i can't believe after all that, my legs still aren't smooth, and once i shave them, they will be patchy for the rest of the summer. what the hell people? i am boycotting leg waxing for the rest of my adult life.
and, as if that weren't enough, while the lady was waxing my eyebrows (a practice i strongly advocate and will continue to favor), she was doing some tweezing, and came across this eyebrow hair that was like 2 inches long. no kidding, i know it was that long, because she made me open up my eyes to look at it. i don't know who was more bothered by it-- her or me. at least it wasn't a gray eyebrow. that could have been bad...
back to cleaning out and sorting through the last four years of my life...its been interesting, so far.
mil besos--r
yesterday, i did something i've never done before. i'd thought about it for a while, and had always passed over the idea and just gone back to my old methods. yesterday, i got my legs waxed. i'm left feeling the following: 1) i can't believe i just paid someone 30 bucks to put me through that. 2) i can't believe i didn't shave for two point five weeks. 3) i can't believe after all that, my legs still aren't smooth, and once i shave them, they will be patchy for the rest of the summer. what the hell people? i am boycotting leg waxing for the rest of my adult life.
and, as if that weren't enough, while the lady was waxing my eyebrows (a practice i strongly advocate and will continue to favor), she was doing some tweezing, and came across this eyebrow hair that was like 2 inches long. no kidding, i know it was that long, because she made me open up my eyes to look at it. i don't know who was more bothered by it-- her or me. at least it wasn't a gray eyebrow. that could have been bad...
back to cleaning out and sorting through the last four years of my life...its been interesting, so far.
mil besos--r
19 July 2005
story time
ok, this is how the last 12 days of mission trip to sewanee went down... suffice it to say that by the time we got out of the city limits, my mantra had become "God has a plan", because mine flew in the crapper in a hurry...
6th-- we left a-tex, drove to little rock. it was a long ride. on the way there, i got a big fat speeding ticket in georgetown. i now hate suburbs with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. i paid it today. my bank account is now $181 dollars lighter. damn ticket quotas.
7th-- we wake up, take the little angels to waffle house in little rock, and i wonder out loud if president clinton ever ate at this one. in response to the bombings in london, the gas prices shoot up 10 cents a gallon while we're inside. as a side note, waffle house doesn't take credit cards or checks. but they do have an atm. shady, very shady. full of grease and sass, we took off for the cumberland plateau and a weeks' worth of work and dirty laundry. we were very excited. we arrived in sewanee at about 5pm, got unpacked, set up the kitchen, and took the kids to eat at a place in town called shenanigans. the reuben, according to smelly j (my dear friend from waco, who was another youth minister on the trip), was superlative. the banjo king (one of my nearest and dearest from college, who's married to the fabulous laura (i missed you on this trip like crazy, lady)) and i both agreed that we had one of the smelliest groups of kids we'd ever personally smelled on this trip. note that the banjo king and i can both be very smelly kids as well. note also that we went through four bottles of fabreeze, one of which was antibacterial fabreeze, in an effort to make our stinkers smell better. the fact that we changed altitude rapidly didn't help the stink, either.
8th--friday. we sleep in, thank the baby Jesus. we play the first of many rounds of ultimate frisbee. stinky j and i go into "town" and buy about 30 pounds of lunch meat, 6 gallons of milk, a watermelon that never even got cut, cheese, cream cheese, margarine, etc. we also bought a kick ball emblazoned with the justice league, and got a really cool batman mask. stinky j suggested that we make eggs erroneous for breakfast one morning. i laughed so hard for so long that i was sore the next day. i think the check out lady thought i was high. good times.
9th--saturday. the other group from houston shows up and messes with our group dynamic a little bit. by sunday, after a small fit or two, everything is ironed out. by this time, its become painfully clear that some of these kids don't want to be on mission trip. seems they read "swim all day and chase boobs" on the top of the brochure instead of "work hard and love jesus". what a bunch of morons. no, seriously. i think my tubes may have psychosomatically tied themselves at one point. we also go to pond swim this day-- i was very happy. i also really needed a shower after that swim, which i didn't get until the next day, for a variety of reasons i'll be kind enough to leave out.
10th--sunday. stinky j and another sponsor have to go to the er because they have pus in the back of their throats. i am not happy. the rest of us go to church, and i skip the sermon to have some quiet time. i make it back for the creed, because i have impeccable timing. i see my dear caro's mama at church, and mrs. bet gives me the best hug i've had in days. i feel much better about "things". we have our orientation that afternoon with the habitat guy. the banjo king and i are immediately underwhelmed and i begin to get what we call "worried and upset" because he doesn't have a) enough work for all 36 of us and b) a clue as to what he should do with us if it rains. which brings me to my next point-- hurricane freaking dennis. what a pain in my booty. seriously. mostly because it cut out one work site altogether, because we were supposed to be doing yard work. in a yard full of red clay. not a chance in hell, people.
11th-- monday. we have a wonderful breakfast with the lovely kitchen ladies at st. mary's (who cook big gigantic eggy grandma breakfasts, and make you take bacon AND sausage) and put some lipstick on the pig that was our mission trip. we got rained out of our worksites, and instead of farting around all day and napping, we worked at st. mary's, much to the surprise and delight of fr. doug, the director, and mr. jerry, the groundskeeper (who used to be a nuclear engineer in Chattanooga...). we picked up the limbs from the wind storm the night before. we weeded out the labyrinth. we dug the iris bulbs out of one bed, collected them all in a bag, and replanted the bed with marigolds. we painted one of the dorm rooms. and before the week was over, we built a deck on the edge of a bluff behind the dining room. monday night, we slept like rocks.
12th--tuesday. we eat more. alot more. part of the work crew got to go to the housing site. everyone else kept working at st. mary's, which is how things would roll for the rest of the week. he who must be obeyed and occasionally footnoted was called in to trouble shoot for us, and gave us the go ahead to buy the wood for the deck. fr. doug was so happy and surprised that he cried a little. he loved us by the end of the week. so the banjo king and stinky j drove off to winchester to buy lumber for the deck. and they bough concrete. 640 pounds of it. that's a lot of concrete. i stayed back at the ranch with my little angels. we dug huge boulders out of the ground with pick axes and shovels. it was fun. not as much fun as when we got to start on the deck, but close. at this point in the week, i discovered that i have a full on addiction to milo's famous sweet tea, and begin drinking nalgene bottles full of it. the people at the pig are starting to look sideways at me when i come in to buy things...
the banjo king and stinky j get back from town, and are followed by the lumber truck, bearing the makings of a 16x16 deck of treated pine. yella wood really is wonderful. what wasn't wonderful was that the lumber truck almost go stuck and tore up a little of the yard. oops. the banjo king and stinky j set about stringing plumb lines, the kids and i start digging holes for posts, and the concrete mixing commences. like i said, 640 pounds of concrete is a lot of concrete. and since you're not supposed to breathe the dust, or get any on your skin, i mixed while the banjo king and stinky j set the posts. i called my pops at pound 240, just to tell him what i was doing. he was highly amused. thank God the family trade is being kept up, huh?
i have this to say about mixing concrete-- God bless the person who invented the mixer. making mud in a wheel barrow with a hoe is one of the single most painful experiences of my adult life. it's on the top ten list, at least. top twenty. it was bad. but we got the posts set with little or no drama, and the miracle of all miracles was that we got them all level and plumb with each other. God has a plan. dinner was wonderful. i don't remember what we had, but we all ate a lot of it.
13th--wednesday--more deck building, more floor joisting. more rain. when i woke up, i thought my entire chest was going to explode. it was a long morning. the natives are getting restless. i have the uncontrollable urge to get in the car and leave them behind. after all, the jack daniels' distillery is only 75 miles away...they'd never know i was gone... i decide to stay. that was stupid.
14th--thursday--decking, flooring, raining. one of the precious angels decides to pierce his ears. and he invites a girl into his room to help. 9 kinds of holy hell ensue. there is yelling. there are calls home. in the final analysis, i'm just glad everyone's clothes stayed on.
15th-- friday-- deck is finished by 1pm. floor joists are in by 4pm. we go to the pool. we take showers. at least i think i took a shower. the only shower i know for sure i have taken in the last week is the one i took yesterday afternoon when i got home...eww gross. we tell the kids we are proud of them, because we are. fr. doug fixes us a big hamburger and hot dog dinner, complete with a chocolate sheet cake decorated with yellow roses. i cry a little bit. i also have to go back to the pig (that's piggly wiggly, for those of you who are southern-impaired) to buy bread for lunch on saturday. i'm also out of tea. again. we terrify the children with stories of how they could fall out of the boat an die on saturday's boat trip, especially if they don't pay attention to orientation. they kind of believe us.
16th-- saturday-- we go rafting on the ocoee river. it is beautiful. i buy a fun new shirt and two stickers. and because one of my sweet angels insists that he should be allowed to wear girls' work out shorts to raft in, i also get to buy some swim trunks. seriously, if those things had gotten wet, we would know more about this sweet angel than anyone other than God should know. the rafting part was fun. and cold. and two of my kids fell out of my boat and scared me real bad. but all was well. he who must be gratutitiously footnoted and occasionally obeyed came up to raft with us. he too was impressed by how badly the children smelled. there was almost some dry heaving. we go home. we have compline one last time. i remind the kids for the last time, as i have done every night of our trip, that there is a mighty, mighty God who loves them very, very much. i don't get to go to sleep until almost two for a wide variety of reasons, but mostly because two of the girl angels are gunning for two of the boy angels, and since i'd made it for 11 days without anyone getting knocked up, i was kind of invested in maintaining my track record. they finally went to sleep. so did i.
17th-- sunday. i wake up and feel like i've had the ever-living crap kicked out of me, and then had my head wrapped in cotton. i can't wait to get in the car and start driving. yay. we make it to texarkana. i am very greatful. somewhere between murfreesboro and nashville, the kids start a mooning war between the vans. pretty soon my car starts to smell like unwashed ass, and i feel the need to vomit, call my mother, and throw a fit. i ingnore the need. i focus on getting to memphis and seeing graceland. we didn't tour it. we looked at it. kind of like when the griswold's go to the grand canyon. it was great. it took about 5 minutes. shortly after memphis, i start really abusing caffeine like its my job. little rock never looked so good. we finally made it to texarkana, and i don't think i've ever been happier to cross the texas state line in all my life. by this time, i am so tired that the thought of trying to make it to dallas is enough to make me want to die. stinky j and the little angels cut me some slack, and we check into the skankiest ramada this side of atlantic city. we sleep.
18th--monday--we finally get home at about 4 pm. i turn in cars, praise Jesus that we got home, and go housesit at the home of the four horsemen, who are out of town with their parents. they are having tile put in, and i'm just there to open doors and empty litter boxes. i get some rudy's barbeque, and then i sleep for 12 straight hours.
and that's the whole story. i'm a little sad that it's over. i'm a little sad that this was my last time to be a shot-caller on one of these trips. but life is good. its scary, its messy, its confusing, but its real and mine. thanks be to God.
mil besos--rmg
** ... about the spelling errors: i'll fix them tomorrow. i promise.
6th-- we left a-tex, drove to little rock. it was a long ride. on the way there, i got a big fat speeding ticket in georgetown. i now hate suburbs with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. i paid it today. my bank account is now $181 dollars lighter. damn ticket quotas.
7th-- we wake up, take the little angels to waffle house in little rock, and i wonder out loud if president clinton ever ate at this one. in response to the bombings in london, the gas prices shoot up 10 cents a gallon while we're inside. as a side note, waffle house doesn't take credit cards or checks. but they do have an atm. shady, very shady. full of grease and sass, we took off for the cumberland plateau and a weeks' worth of work and dirty laundry. we were very excited. we arrived in sewanee at about 5pm, got unpacked, set up the kitchen, and took the kids to eat at a place in town called shenanigans. the reuben, according to smelly j (my dear friend from waco, who was another youth minister on the trip), was superlative. the banjo king (one of my nearest and dearest from college, who's married to the fabulous laura (i missed you on this trip like crazy, lady)) and i both agreed that we had one of the smelliest groups of kids we'd ever personally smelled on this trip. note that the banjo king and i can both be very smelly kids as well. note also that we went through four bottles of fabreeze, one of which was antibacterial fabreeze, in an effort to make our stinkers smell better. the fact that we changed altitude rapidly didn't help the stink, either.
8th--friday. we sleep in, thank the baby Jesus. we play the first of many rounds of ultimate frisbee. stinky j and i go into "town" and buy about 30 pounds of lunch meat, 6 gallons of milk, a watermelon that never even got cut, cheese, cream cheese, margarine, etc. we also bought a kick ball emblazoned with the justice league, and got a really cool batman mask. stinky j suggested that we make eggs erroneous for breakfast one morning. i laughed so hard for so long that i was sore the next day. i think the check out lady thought i was high. good times.
9th--saturday. the other group from houston shows up and messes with our group dynamic a little bit. by sunday, after a small fit or two, everything is ironed out. by this time, its become painfully clear that some of these kids don't want to be on mission trip. seems they read "swim all day and chase boobs" on the top of the brochure instead of "work hard and love jesus". what a bunch of morons. no, seriously. i think my tubes may have psychosomatically tied themselves at one point. we also go to pond swim this day-- i was very happy. i also really needed a shower after that swim, which i didn't get until the next day, for a variety of reasons i'll be kind enough to leave out.
10th--sunday. stinky j and another sponsor have to go to the er because they have pus in the back of their throats. i am not happy. the rest of us go to church, and i skip the sermon to have some quiet time. i make it back for the creed, because i have impeccable timing. i see my dear caro's mama at church, and mrs. bet gives me the best hug i've had in days. i feel much better about "things". we have our orientation that afternoon with the habitat guy. the banjo king and i are immediately underwhelmed and i begin to get what we call "worried and upset" because he doesn't have a) enough work for all 36 of us and b) a clue as to what he should do with us if it rains. which brings me to my next point-- hurricane freaking dennis. what a pain in my booty. seriously. mostly because it cut out one work site altogether, because we were supposed to be doing yard work. in a yard full of red clay. not a chance in hell, people.
11th-- monday. we have a wonderful breakfast with the lovely kitchen ladies at st. mary's (who cook big gigantic eggy grandma breakfasts, and make you take bacon AND sausage) and put some lipstick on the pig that was our mission trip. we got rained out of our worksites, and instead of farting around all day and napping, we worked at st. mary's, much to the surprise and delight of fr. doug, the director, and mr. jerry, the groundskeeper (who used to be a nuclear engineer in Chattanooga...). we picked up the limbs from the wind storm the night before. we weeded out the labyrinth. we dug the iris bulbs out of one bed, collected them all in a bag, and replanted the bed with marigolds. we painted one of the dorm rooms. and before the week was over, we built a deck on the edge of a bluff behind the dining room. monday night, we slept like rocks.
12th--tuesday. we eat more. alot more. part of the work crew got to go to the housing site. everyone else kept working at st. mary's, which is how things would roll for the rest of the week. he who must be obeyed and occasionally footnoted was called in to trouble shoot for us, and gave us the go ahead to buy the wood for the deck. fr. doug was so happy and surprised that he cried a little. he loved us by the end of the week. so the banjo king and stinky j drove off to winchester to buy lumber for the deck. and they bough concrete. 640 pounds of it. that's a lot of concrete. i stayed back at the ranch with my little angels. we dug huge boulders out of the ground with pick axes and shovels. it was fun. not as much fun as when we got to start on the deck, but close. at this point in the week, i discovered that i have a full on addiction to milo's famous sweet tea, and begin drinking nalgene bottles full of it. the people at the pig are starting to look sideways at me when i come in to buy things...
the banjo king and stinky j get back from town, and are followed by the lumber truck, bearing the makings of a 16x16 deck of treated pine. yella wood really is wonderful. what wasn't wonderful was that the lumber truck almost go stuck and tore up a little of the yard. oops. the banjo king and stinky j set about stringing plumb lines, the kids and i start digging holes for posts, and the concrete mixing commences. like i said, 640 pounds of concrete is a lot of concrete. and since you're not supposed to breathe the dust, or get any on your skin, i mixed while the banjo king and stinky j set the posts. i called my pops at pound 240, just to tell him what i was doing. he was highly amused. thank God the family trade is being kept up, huh?
i have this to say about mixing concrete-- God bless the person who invented the mixer. making mud in a wheel barrow with a hoe is one of the single most painful experiences of my adult life. it's on the top ten list, at least. top twenty. it was bad. but we got the posts set with little or no drama, and the miracle of all miracles was that we got them all level and plumb with each other. God has a plan. dinner was wonderful. i don't remember what we had, but we all ate a lot of it.
13th--wednesday--more deck building, more floor joisting. more rain. when i woke up, i thought my entire chest was going to explode. it was a long morning. the natives are getting restless. i have the uncontrollable urge to get in the car and leave them behind. after all, the jack daniels' distillery is only 75 miles away...they'd never know i was gone... i decide to stay. that was stupid.
14th--thursday--decking, flooring, raining. one of the precious angels decides to pierce his ears. and he invites a girl into his room to help. 9 kinds of holy hell ensue. there is yelling. there are calls home. in the final analysis, i'm just glad everyone's clothes stayed on.
15th-- friday-- deck is finished by 1pm. floor joists are in by 4pm. we go to the pool. we take showers. at least i think i took a shower. the only shower i know for sure i have taken in the last week is the one i took yesterday afternoon when i got home...eww gross. we tell the kids we are proud of them, because we are. fr. doug fixes us a big hamburger and hot dog dinner, complete with a chocolate sheet cake decorated with yellow roses. i cry a little bit. i also have to go back to the pig (that's piggly wiggly, for those of you who are southern-impaired) to buy bread for lunch on saturday. i'm also out of tea. again. we terrify the children with stories of how they could fall out of the boat an die on saturday's boat trip, especially if they don't pay attention to orientation. they kind of believe us.
16th-- saturday-- we go rafting on the ocoee river. it is beautiful. i buy a fun new shirt and two stickers. and because one of my sweet angels insists that he should be allowed to wear girls' work out shorts to raft in, i also get to buy some swim trunks. seriously, if those things had gotten wet, we would know more about this sweet angel than anyone other than God should know. the rafting part was fun. and cold. and two of my kids fell out of my boat and scared me real bad. but all was well. he who must be gratutitiously footnoted and occasionally obeyed came up to raft with us. he too was impressed by how badly the children smelled. there was almost some dry heaving. we go home. we have compline one last time. i remind the kids for the last time, as i have done every night of our trip, that there is a mighty, mighty God who loves them very, very much. i don't get to go to sleep until almost two for a wide variety of reasons, but mostly because two of the girl angels are gunning for two of the boy angels, and since i'd made it for 11 days without anyone getting knocked up, i was kind of invested in maintaining my track record. they finally went to sleep. so did i.
17th-- sunday. i wake up and feel like i've had the ever-living crap kicked out of me, and then had my head wrapped in cotton. i can't wait to get in the car and start driving. yay. we make it to texarkana. i am very greatful. somewhere between murfreesboro and nashville, the kids start a mooning war between the vans. pretty soon my car starts to smell like unwashed ass, and i feel the need to vomit, call my mother, and throw a fit. i ingnore the need. i focus on getting to memphis and seeing graceland. we didn't tour it. we looked at it. kind of like when the griswold's go to the grand canyon. it was great. it took about 5 minutes. shortly after memphis, i start really abusing caffeine like its my job. little rock never looked so good. we finally made it to texarkana, and i don't think i've ever been happier to cross the texas state line in all my life. by this time, i am so tired that the thought of trying to make it to dallas is enough to make me want to die. stinky j and the little angels cut me some slack, and we check into the skankiest ramada this side of atlantic city. we sleep.
18th--monday--we finally get home at about 4 pm. i turn in cars, praise Jesus that we got home, and go housesit at the home of the four horsemen, who are out of town with their parents. they are having tile put in, and i'm just there to open doors and empty litter boxes. i get some rudy's barbeque, and then i sleep for 12 straight hours.
and that's the whole story. i'm a little sad that it's over. i'm a little sad that this was my last time to be a shot-caller on one of these trips. but life is good. its scary, its messy, its confusing, but its real and mine. thanks be to God.
mil besos--rmg
** ... about the spelling errors: i'll fix them tomorrow. i promise.
18 July 2005
wow
holy crap. thank God i'm home. what was i thinking taking a 12 day trip two weeks before i quit my job? sweet lord.
speaking of job and life...
here's the plan, as of now...
1. dump the apartment. know anyone who needs a 1 bedroom in central/north austin (like around highland mall) for $540 a month? lemme know...
2. trade into a smaller car
3. move in with mom and live rent free
4. write my book, take road trips to get pictures for my book
5. finally get to be a waitress because i've always wanted to do that and i will need to make some freaking money to pay for car/film/bills at momma's house.
6. come see some of you freaks and make you take me out to fun places with good material for my book
love to you all. i'm off to take a snooze for about 18 hours.
mil besos--rmg
speaking of job and life...
here's the plan, as of now...
1. dump the apartment. know anyone who needs a 1 bedroom in central/north austin (like around highland mall) for $540 a month? lemme know...
2. trade into a smaller car
3. move in with mom and live rent free
4. write my book, take road trips to get pictures for my book
5. finally get to be a waitress because i've always wanted to do that and i will need to make some freaking money to pay for car/film/bills at momma's house.
6. come see some of you freaks and make you take me out to fun places with good material for my book
love to you all. i'm off to take a snooze for about 18 hours.
mil besos--rmg
01 July 2005
72 hour break
fits have been thrown. hot dogs have been eaten and simultaneously trampled into commercial grade blue carpet. craft projects made from aluminum pie pans and beans have either been taken home or thrown out. the slip-n-slide bounce house has been inflated, played upon (prolly peed upon,too, if the facts were truly known), and deflated. i have been squirted with the water guns of several very small people. in a scene that could rival parts of "lord of the flies", i was trapped in a mob of very small people with unopened popsicles and no scissors in sight-- i had to use my teeth. it got scary, fast. and i think may have the early stages of pink eye. in short, vacation bible school is over. praise the baby jesus.
although i have to say this: for every bizarre thing the "precious children" did, they also did amazing things. one of the little girls at camp this week has cerebral palsy. she is mostly in a wheel chair, but she's walking better every day. she speaks and laughs, if you are willing to listen and encourage her. this little sweet pea walked with her peers this week. she even did the hokey-pokey during song time. and when it came time to sing my two favorite songs-- "this little light of mine" and "he's got the whole world in his hands", you can bet that little cherub was singing at the top of her lungs and doing all the hand motions. it was beautiful. and as much as my body is screaming for mercy, for that 10 minute period, watching that little girl be a little girl and singing along with her friends, and being accepted and loved, both in spite of and because of her differences, i wouldn't have traded a week of pampering in the bahamas. it was one of the single-most incredible and humbling experiences of my life.
i'm at momma's house. she told me to come home so she could feed me and do my laundry before i have to take a deep breath before the final plunge. i adore this woman. even though she's doing adkin's, she let my grammy make my favorite pasta salad, and didn't complain while i ate it like a big pig, even though she had to have a plain green salad with lots of meat on it. yay, mommy.
i still owe you people the story of the 30 foot whale (its still a doozie and most definitely deserves to be told--it might even reach classic anecdote status at some point)d, but i think that may have to wait until i have processed the rest of vacation bible school and done a little more leg work for my mission trip that leaves on wednesday. i know, i know, i lead a life ruled by madness...but also by love...and that is a good thing, even on tired days.
all is well.
mil besos--rmg
although i have to say this: for every bizarre thing the "precious children" did, they also did amazing things. one of the little girls at camp this week has cerebral palsy. she is mostly in a wheel chair, but she's walking better every day. she speaks and laughs, if you are willing to listen and encourage her. this little sweet pea walked with her peers this week. she even did the hokey-pokey during song time. and when it came time to sing my two favorite songs-- "this little light of mine" and "he's got the whole world in his hands", you can bet that little cherub was singing at the top of her lungs and doing all the hand motions. it was beautiful. and as much as my body is screaming for mercy, for that 10 minute period, watching that little girl be a little girl and singing along with her friends, and being accepted and loved, both in spite of and because of her differences, i wouldn't have traded a week of pampering in the bahamas. it was one of the single-most incredible and humbling experiences of my life.
i'm at momma's house. she told me to come home so she could feed me and do my laundry before i have to take a deep breath before the final plunge. i adore this woman. even though she's doing adkin's, she let my grammy make my favorite pasta salad, and didn't complain while i ate it like a big pig, even though she had to have a plain green salad with lots of meat on it. yay, mommy.
i still owe you people the story of the 30 foot whale (its still a doozie and most definitely deserves to be told--it might even reach classic anecdote status at some point)d, but i think that may have to wait until i have processed the rest of vacation bible school and done a little more leg work for my mission trip that leaves on wednesday. i know, i know, i lead a life ruled by madness...but also by love...and that is a good thing, even on tired days.
all is well.
mil besos--rmg
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