up to speed

well, for those of you who've asked, and for those of you who haven't, here's a snippet of what the book is turning into...

let the fun begin...

In thinking about graffiti, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are several types of graffiti artists (and it is art, friends and neighbors, just look at the budding Picassos who make their mark on the insides of truck stop bathrooms...)

One: “I’m so in love and I want the whole world to know.”

These are the dumb girls who write “Amy Hearts John 4-ever” in black Bic on the inside of every restroom they pass on their way to and from Spring Break, or after Homecoming, or the Prom. As a mark to their undying fidelity, and the undoubted “awesomeness” of their boyfriend, they not only write these little ditties in their algebra notebook, they clutter up the wall space in Wal Mart, Target, their high school and college bathrooms, and in the gas stations used by you and me. Their devotion knows no bounds. And neither does their scorn. I have seen this ditty crossed out, maybe by the artist, and maybe by some tacky passerby, saying that Mr. Wonderful practices poor personal hygiene, or that he doesn’t even like girls, or that he sucks at life. That is where the first kind of graffiti artist turns into the second kind of graffiti artist.

Two: “Today I hate the world”

These are the people who mark though their own or someone else’s “Amy Hearts John 4-ever” and makes disparaging remarks about one or both of those parties. They are also the people who have nothing better to say than “Rudy sucks ballz all day and all night”. Rudy may be the guy who got the promotion at work, instead of the artist. Rudy may be the guy that got the girl (or guy, depending on Rudy’s preference) that the artist had his or her eye on. Rudy may be the kid who stole the artist’s lunch money and shoved him or her into the locker during a passing period. Rudy could be the nicest, most polite, and unassuming person on the block, or Rudy could be a real jerk who deserves to have shit talked about him. In any event, the artist who has nothing good to say in his or her graffiti is intent on letting his or her frustrations OUT, and my bet is that they make their graffiti in fits of anger, wanting nothing more than to say what they have to say, and be done with it. They probably don’t think of the restroom in which they committed character assassination fondly, unlike type 1’s, who will undoubtedly drive by the restroom location with a faint smile on their face, or always have a special place in their heart for Love’s Truck Stops. No, type 2’s just get their angry on and leave.

Three: “Disgusting Perverts with Sharpies”

I can remember a road trip pit stop when I was small, probably about 6 or 7. Someone had gotten after the ladies’ bathroom with a black permanent marker and had drawn the human form, both male and female, in its entire nude splendor. At least I guess that’s what the artist thought the male and female bodies looked like. I have learned in later years that that representation wasn’t all that accurate. At the time, I don’t know who was more surprised, me or my mother. All I could think of was that someone was going to be in big trouble for marking up the bathroom with markers.

I imagine that the people who write swear words and draw genitals on bathroom walls are frustrated people. Maybe they never had the birds and the bees explained to them. Maybe they are struggling with their adult sexual identities. Maybe they were potty trained too early and are mad at their bodies when they have to go to the bathroom. Whatever the case may be, I’m not sure what motivates people to scrawl depictions of coitus, genitals, or things I’ve never even heard of sexually on bathroom walls. But they are there, and so is their artwork. Heaven help the little kids who’s parents’ don’t clear up what’s written on those walls…

Four: “Bigoted Morons “

Unfortunately, we’ve probably all seen more than our share of these tags. They are not a far cry from type 2’s. Their anger is directed at minority groups, all men, all women, countries, ideologies, etc. They spew their anger and hate in ball point pen and marker because they don’t know or don’t want any other avenue to express or educate themselves. This is the kind of graffiti that makes me angry and sad. I imagine this is the kind of graffiti that gas station attendants and restaurant bus staff spend hours scrubbing with abrasives and steel wool, or painting over with white-out or paint matching the stall walls.

Five: “Kilroy Was Here”

These are my one of my favorite type of graffiti artists. They write limericks, snatches of songs, draw cartoons, or tell jokes. They are clearly joyful people, bored while doing their business. They want nothing more than to spread their happiness or humor to other folks. They are the people who came up with my personal favorite piece of graffiti:
Here I sit
Broken hearted.
Came to shit
But only farted.
They are as harmless and well meaning as the people who scrawl the “Amy Hearts John 4-ever” kind of things in bathrooms across the country. They are goofy and wonderful. I know a lot of folks who would and probably do make this kind of graffiti, and my life is better for knowing them.

Six: “Closet Philosophers”

I discovered this kind of graffiti artist in one of my favorite bars in Austin, the Gingerman. In the women’s restroom, in every stall, was a story about a gnome finding his way home through many hardships. The story started in the far restroom and continued through each successive stall. I have also read inspirational religious messages in the form of graffiti, which I adore. These artists want to impart knowledge, or ideas, or just brighten up the day, in another kind of way besides the type five variety’s levity. These people are also fond of passing on health information—like how much the condoms in the vending machine cost, and if they are any good. I imagine they are thoughtful people in their daily life, and just don’t always have the wherewithal to express that in their life outside the bathroom stall.


mil besos--r