i know, weird title for a post, huh? but i've been thinking this thought for the last three days, and didn't know what else to do but "say" it out loud.
love is like a coffee mug. or at least the kind of love i want, is. so i guess maybe i should say that relationship is like a coffee mug. i have a great affinity for coffee mugs. especially the really big kind, like the huge latte cups you get in coffee shops. caro bought me a big one with a sheep on it for christmas one year. i drink out of that one a lot, because it's big-big, and because it's pretty, and because one of my nearest and dearest gave it to me. but i digress.
see, i've been thinking a lot about relationships lately. ones i've had, ones i've wished i had, ones i imagine i will have at some point. and it all sort of comes back to the same thought-- a coffee mug. see, coffee mugs are sturdy, usually made kind of thick, to keep what's inside good and warm, with a good handle, so you can hang on, or pull it to you. coffee mugs contain, they don't keep. you don't put a lid on a coffee mug. coffee mugs can carry lots of different things---sometimes coffee, or tea, sometimes pens or paperclips, or puzzle pieces. coffee mugs can be refilled, reheated, washed out, and even put away, sometimes. coffee mugs aren't bones of contention, because there are enough coffee mugs for everyone to have whichever one they chose. coffee mugs don't actually fix your coffee, or other tasty beverage, they just take what you are willing to pour into them, and offer that same bit back, when you are ready to have it back. coffee mugs don't suddenly decide to be plates one day, either. and everyone knows immediately that the thing in your hand or on your desk is a coffee mug, and not a tea pot. coffee mugs are painfully obvious, but elegantly purposeful. they can deal with a lot of abuse, and with a little elbow grease and a resolve to be a little more careful, can usually be fixed up if they chip in a place or two. and if they shatter altogether, the shards make nice craft fodder, so at least you can be creative, if you can't have your thirst sated, anymore.
at any rate, this thought may have something to do with the fact that i am embarking on a monumental case of cedar fever as we speak, or it's brilliant, and i just don't have the brain power to fully flesh this one out at the moment.
that's what i think, for today, anyway.
mil besos--rmg
30 November 2005
29 November 2005
lessons learned
i learned today that after i brush baby a's teeth, it's best not to feed him for about a half hour. how did i learn this lesson--he threw up on me. that was a good lesson to learn. i feel bad for him, and bad for my snowflake pajama pants. but mostly, i feel bad for him. he's not feeling very well at the moment, but motrin and a few breathing treatments, and some tlc should put him back to rights.
i also learned today that stinky j shouldn't ever drink two bottles of gatorade if he's going to be around me for a prolonged period of time, and still be allowed to see his 13th birthday. i also learned that the only thing that can be gained from arguing about whether or not padme and queen amidala are the same person with stinky j is a headache and the strong craving for a drink and a smoke. here's the kicker-- he stayed home from school with a stomach complaint, and wore around the tightest pair of boxer shorts i have ever personally seen. when asked why he was wearing those boxers, and only those boxers, he would only gesticulate with his light saber, and threaten me with various forms of the jedi mind trick. oh, friends and neighbors, it is hard to be that kid. don't get me wrong, i love the little guy, but oh wow, do we have some ground to cover...
i learned this weekend that thanksgiving is about family, or rather i re-learned it. poppy was in the hospital over the holiday, and rather than cancel dinner at the house and keep the turkey in the freezer, we had dinner for relatives, anyway. and it was fine. and i still go to see poppy. and i learned how to make dressing. poppy is out of the hospital, now, and is recouperating at home, under the watchful eye of my grammy. hopefully, he'll be back to his old tricks by christmas. on thanksgiving, i was thankful for my crazy family, who always seems to come around when they are most needed, bringing pies and love.
i learned this weekend that 300 miles going to see my nephew is much shorter than 300 miles driving away from him. that kid is going to be a heartbreaker. i am making a short list of tricks to teach him. i'd also like to report that he smiled (ok, it was prolly just gas, but whatever, i got a picture of him) and almost rolled over. he's very advanced. and he has dimples, which means that he's a little bit like me. i like that. his 'cita says that he looks like me when he cries. she should know, since i did nothing but cry until i was 9 monts old. at any rate, will and his parents are doing very well. i will be boring you to death with more pictures soon.
i learned that it's best not to listen to dave matthews or ryan adams while pondering things about your love life, or lack thereof. same goes for the garden state soundtrack. i learned that when you feel like the universe is screwing you on the relationship deal, it's best to just pretend you don't feel that way, and plaster a smile on your face, and keep doing what you're doing, because the universe is a funny thing. so, i'm doing my thing, and saying my prayers to the baby jesus, and hoping this angsty feeling passes, or that something wonderful will come along and grow into something amazing.
i also learned that even though i'm 27 years old, i'd still rather talk to my mom about matters of the heart than just about any one else. she's a keeper, that one. and even though she can't fix any of the issues, she listens and offers her take on things, and even though things are exactly the same as when we started talking, i feel oddly better.
i learned that even after a two year hiatus, i can still make a mean marinara sauce.
i learned that three week olds make very odd noises, and baby gas smells just as bad as grown up gas does. wow.
i learned that i dislike houston and it's proclivity for municipalities and chambers of commerce more that i dislike dallas for that same reason. see, i can say nice things about dallas.
end of lessons, for today.
mil besos--rmg
i also learned today that stinky j shouldn't ever drink two bottles of gatorade if he's going to be around me for a prolonged period of time, and still be allowed to see his 13th birthday. i also learned that the only thing that can be gained from arguing about whether or not padme and queen amidala are the same person with stinky j is a headache and the strong craving for a drink and a smoke. here's the kicker-- he stayed home from school with a stomach complaint, and wore around the tightest pair of boxer shorts i have ever personally seen. when asked why he was wearing those boxers, and only those boxers, he would only gesticulate with his light saber, and threaten me with various forms of the jedi mind trick. oh, friends and neighbors, it is hard to be that kid. don't get me wrong, i love the little guy, but oh wow, do we have some ground to cover...
i learned this weekend that thanksgiving is about family, or rather i re-learned it. poppy was in the hospital over the holiday, and rather than cancel dinner at the house and keep the turkey in the freezer, we had dinner for relatives, anyway. and it was fine. and i still go to see poppy. and i learned how to make dressing. poppy is out of the hospital, now, and is recouperating at home, under the watchful eye of my grammy. hopefully, he'll be back to his old tricks by christmas. on thanksgiving, i was thankful for my crazy family, who always seems to come around when they are most needed, bringing pies and love.
i learned this weekend that 300 miles going to see my nephew is much shorter than 300 miles driving away from him. that kid is going to be a heartbreaker. i am making a short list of tricks to teach him. i'd also like to report that he smiled (ok, it was prolly just gas, but whatever, i got a picture of him) and almost rolled over. he's very advanced. and he has dimples, which means that he's a little bit like me. i like that. his 'cita says that he looks like me when he cries. she should know, since i did nothing but cry until i was 9 monts old. at any rate, will and his parents are doing very well. i will be boring you to death with more pictures soon.
i learned that it's best not to listen to dave matthews or ryan adams while pondering things about your love life, or lack thereof. same goes for the garden state soundtrack. i learned that when you feel like the universe is screwing you on the relationship deal, it's best to just pretend you don't feel that way, and plaster a smile on your face, and keep doing what you're doing, because the universe is a funny thing. so, i'm doing my thing, and saying my prayers to the baby jesus, and hoping this angsty feeling passes, or that something wonderful will come along and grow into something amazing.
i also learned that even though i'm 27 years old, i'd still rather talk to my mom about matters of the heart than just about any one else. she's a keeper, that one. and even though she can't fix any of the issues, she listens and offers her take on things, and even though things are exactly the same as when we started talking, i feel oddly better.
i learned that even after a two year hiatus, i can still make a mean marinara sauce.
i learned that three week olds make very odd noises, and baby gas smells just as bad as grown up gas does. wow.
i learned that i dislike houston and it's proclivity for municipalities and chambers of commerce more that i dislike dallas for that same reason. see, i can say nice things about dallas.
end of lessons, for today.
mil besos--rmg
21 November 2005
not necessarily the news
ok, people. not to sound too much like joan rivers, but can we talk? seriously...i was just over at my grandparents' house printing out some lobby stuff, and chatting with them about thanksgiving plans, when i almost had a fit. a certain news agency that is almost constantly on at their house (no names, but i will tell you that at one time the pelt of this animal was used in couture clothing...until peta went on the kool-aide drinking war-path--but that's another rant) was covering a "major news development" complete with ultra-cool music and tight shots from local affiliates. it was a story about a plane with a wonky landing gear. a corporate jet with a wonky landing gear, not a major air-carrier, like last time. let me say that while i feel a measure of sympathy for people in air-planes with mechanical issues, i do not consider every incidence news worthy. more to the point, i feel like the only reason news agencies broadcast this kind of story is in the macabre hope that something goes wrong and they can get more gore and guts on their broadcast than the other guys, or at least get the guts and gore first. this is, to put it mildly, bullshit of the highest order.
in case anyone forgot, there are hard hitting news stories waiting to be picked up on a daily basis. and they aren't all about blood and guts, or which elementary school teacher banged and then married a student. the stories to be reported aren't all about politicians in washington screwing the rest of the country, one way or the other. the stories to be reported aren't all about little old ladies getting mugged by gang bangers. the stories aren't all about bigots, or zealots, or other run-of-the-mill crazies. there are stories about men and women who succeed in the face of insurmountable obstacles, dogs that help epileptic children, schools for at risk youth with 90% graduation statistics, start-up non-profits that change people's lives with everyday items and run on a shoe-string budget, schools in iraq that get opened and DON'T get firebombed, and the list goes on and on. but instead of those stories, we get more blood, more guts, more gore, more half-truths, more deciet, and less hope. and i think that's a travesty.
bobby kennedy said that he wanted not to see the world as it was and ask why, but to see the world as it could be and ask why not. i wish that those of us who dare to feel that way could have a venue of expressing that in the media. for instance, i wonder what it would be like if all the news media in america decided that on every wednesday, during their prime-time slots, they would focus on four incredible things that happened that day. do you think people would watch it? do you think that people would look forward to prime-time on wednesday nights? do you think the newscasters would look forward to bringing not just the news, but good news to their audience? or do you think that people would like it for about a month, and then get bored and call for a return to regular programming? i wonder. i wonder what it would do for media outlets that ambulance chase, dig for blackmailable info, exploit sources, and create drama. i wonder what it would do for a sense of esprit de corps and civitas that seem to be totally lacking in american society today.
i bet we would start to think of the news and newsmakers in a different light. i bet we would start seeing each other differently. i bet what we think of as being newsworthy would get turned on its head, such that when important, sobering things are reported, we would pay better attention to them, because we wouldn't be so numb to another plane crash, or bombing, or school shooting. maybe we could start looking at our neighbors as people who share our space, instead of people who maybe should be viewed with suspicion, because they look different than we do. maybe we could be vigilant about hope, vigilant about nuturing the potential that lies within us and our neighbors. maybe we wouldsee the world through different eyes, and get different results.
i'm not saying that everything on the news is bad, or that we have become a nation of humbugs. i'm just saying that i think we can do better. as for myself, i promise to do better, to try and find four things everyday that are special and good and amazing. and i will try to put them here.
today's four things:
1) a phone call from an old friend, who after two months, remembered my birthday
2) frozen cadbury eggs
3) stinky j's incredibly good mood, in spite of being 12 and moody most of the time
4) beauregard the dog is bouncing back from his arthritic drama this weekend
mil besos--rmg
in case anyone forgot, there are hard hitting news stories waiting to be picked up on a daily basis. and they aren't all about blood and guts, or which elementary school teacher banged and then married a student. the stories to be reported aren't all about politicians in washington screwing the rest of the country, one way or the other. the stories to be reported aren't all about little old ladies getting mugged by gang bangers. the stories aren't all about bigots, or zealots, or other run-of-the-mill crazies. there are stories about men and women who succeed in the face of insurmountable obstacles, dogs that help epileptic children, schools for at risk youth with 90% graduation statistics, start-up non-profits that change people's lives with everyday items and run on a shoe-string budget, schools in iraq that get opened and DON'T get firebombed, and the list goes on and on. but instead of those stories, we get more blood, more guts, more gore, more half-truths, more deciet, and less hope. and i think that's a travesty.
bobby kennedy said that he wanted not to see the world as it was and ask why, but to see the world as it could be and ask why not. i wish that those of us who dare to feel that way could have a venue of expressing that in the media. for instance, i wonder what it would be like if all the news media in america decided that on every wednesday, during their prime-time slots, they would focus on four incredible things that happened that day. do you think people would watch it? do you think that people would look forward to prime-time on wednesday nights? do you think the newscasters would look forward to bringing not just the news, but good news to their audience? or do you think that people would like it for about a month, and then get bored and call for a return to regular programming? i wonder. i wonder what it would do for media outlets that ambulance chase, dig for blackmailable info, exploit sources, and create drama. i wonder what it would do for a sense of esprit de corps and civitas that seem to be totally lacking in american society today.
i bet we would start to think of the news and newsmakers in a different light. i bet we would start seeing each other differently. i bet what we think of as being newsworthy would get turned on its head, such that when important, sobering things are reported, we would pay better attention to them, because we wouldn't be so numb to another plane crash, or bombing, or school shooting. maybe we could start looking at our neighbors as people who share our space, instead of people who maybe should be viewed with suspicion, because they look different than we do. maybe we could be vigilant about hope, vigilant about nuturing the potential that lies within us and our neighbors. maybe we wouldsee the world through different eyes, and get different results.
i'm not saying that everything on the news is bad, or that we have become a nation of humbugs. i'm just saying that i think we can do better. as for myself, i promise to do better, to try and find four things everyday that are special and good and amazing. and i will try to put them here.
today's four things:
1) a phone call from an old friend, who after two months, remembered my birthday
2) frozen cadbury eggs
3) stinky j's incredibly good mood, in spite of being 12 and moody most of the time
4) beauregard the dog is bouncing back from his arthritic drama this weekend
mil besos--rmg
18 November 2005
oh wow, southpark strikes again
stinky j, my 12 year old cousin, dvr's all the episodes of southpark. this is a very good thing for our relationship. one, it gives us some common ground, and two, it gives me another reason not to tie him into a human knot on a daily basis. additionally, even though i'm 27 years old, my mother hates southpark, and doesn't like to let me watch it. i know, i know. some things never change.
ok, so this week's episode is PURE genius, which was totally lost on stinky j. the southpark guys (trey and matt) did what i have wanted to do for weeks-- they went after tom cruise. and it was brilliant. seriously, you should take five minutes to read the wikipedia entry on scientology. if that isn't enough lead you to spend untold hours tracking down info on the church of scientology, a) you just aren't trying hard enough, or b) you have a real job and no desire to read minutae about random religious philosophy. which is fine, just be prepared when i school your butt in trivial pursuit.
you have GOT to get your hands on this episode. it even made the cnn.com front page. freaking tom cruise with his annoying love proclamations (don't even get me started on his manic goofiness...talk about contrived, people), the way he chewed out matt lauer, and called brooke shields a drug addict, and proclaimed adderall a street drug. and then says he knows the "history" of psychology. yeah, sure ya do, tommy boy, sure ya do.
i mean, i get that not every kid with add or adhd needs drugs. and i get that it seems like every month, we discover a new mental issue. i get that. it frustrates me, sometimes. sometimes, i worry that maybe i have a freak mental issue based solely around being mostly, painfully, normal. however, that does not change the fact that mental illness is a real thing. behavior issues do exist, and sometimes need to be medicated. psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors are part of the glue that holds western society together. sure, some of them may be quacks, but they are the exception rather than the rule. we can all do with more talking, more feeling, more direction, and for some people, that is done in a therapy setting. and i have a real problem with someone who says that is not real, or that it's evil, or bad, or counter-productive to self-actualization.
as for the freak out on the opra show, i'd like to point out that it looks like tommy boy ate a great big box of crazy. and i don't mean the love kind. i mean the kind where you can either paint your whole apartment in three hours or shave off all your body hair a la bob geldof. i would shudder to think that THAT little display is what i have in store when i finally fall in love. love can make you do silly things, but getting all goo-goo in front of the entire tv viewing world is pushing the envelope. THAT little display is why some people think adderall is a good idea. THAT little freak out, coupled with his nasty remarks re: mental health have spurred me to boycott future tom cruise projects. i say future because i do adore top gun and a few good men. and born on the fourth of july. and far and away. but that's about it.
end of rant. peace out.
mil besos--rmg
mil besos--rmg
ok, so this week's episode is PURE genius, which was totally lost on stinky j. the southpark guys (trey and matt) did what i have wanted to do for weeks-- they went after tom cruise. and it was brilliant. seriously, you should take five minutes to read the wikipedia entry on scientology. if that isn't enough lead you to spend untold hours tracking down info on the church of scientology, a) you just aren't trying hard enough, or b) you have a real job and no desire to read minutae about random religious philosophy. which is fine, just be prepared when i school your butt in trivial pursuit.
you have GOT to get your hands on this episode. it even made the cnn.com front page. freaking tom cruise with his annoying love proclamations (don't even get me started on his manic goofiness...talk about contrived, people), the way he chewed out matt lauer, and called brooke shields a drug addict, and proclaimed adderall a street drug. and then says he knows the "history" of psychology. yeah, sure ya do, tommy boy, sure ya do.
i mean, i get that not every kid with add or adhd needs drugs. and i get that it seems like every month, we discover a new mental issue. i get that. it frustrates me, sometimes. sometimes, i worry that maybe i have a freak mental issue based solely around being mostly, painfully, normal. however, that does not change the fact that mental illness is a real thing. behavior issues do exist, and sometimes need to be medicated. psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors are part of the glue that holds western society together. sure, some of them may be quacks, but they are the exception rather than the rule. we can all do with more talking, more feeling, more direction, and for some people, that is done in a therapy setting. and i have a real problem with someone who says that is not real, or that it's evil, or bad, or counter-productive to self-actualization.
as for the freak out on the opra show, i'd like to point out that it looks like tommy boy ate a great big box of crazy. and i don't mean the love kind. i mean the kind where you can either paint your whole apartment in three hours or shave off all your body hair a la bob geldof. i would shudder to think that THAT little display is what i have in store when i finally fall in love. love can make you do silly things, but getting all goo-goo in front of the entire tv viewing world is pushing the envelope. THAT little display is why some people think adderall is a good idea. THAT little freak out, coupled with his nasty remarks re: mental health have spurred me to boycott future tom cruise projects. i say future because i do adore top gun and a few good men. and born on the fourth of july. and far and away. but that's about it.
end of rant. peace out.
mil besos--rmg
mil besos--rmg
09 November 2005
william michael graves--welcome to the world, darlingest boy. i promise to love you my whole life. i promise to listen to your adventures and misadventures with my full attention. i promise to be your friend and take you to the zoo. i promise to get you hopped up on sugar and then take you home to your mom and dad. i promise to remember you birthday, and always send you something random. i promise to think about you everyday, and be grateful to God that i know you. i promise to burn lots of gas coming to see you, and i promise i will never complain about the long drive. i promise i will never be too tired to tell you a story or sing you a song. i promise i will ask your mom and dad before i take you to the movies or let you try a new food or drive my car. i promise to make you watch the sun come up at least one time in our life together. i promise to take pictures of you covered in bluebonnets. i promise to burp you after i give you a bottle. i promise to tell you stories about your daddy when he was a little boy. i promise to get you out of jams, when i can help, and to give you inside info on crazy family members. i promise to hold you as much as i can without being a baby hog. mostly, i just promise to love you every day more than i love you today, better than i love you today. you are the newest in a long line of people i love. i promise to be generous with my love, to tell you how much i love you every time i see you.
02 November 2005
this is the life
ah...i had a pot of chai this morning...and made 81 phone calls (that's right, 81, not counting call backs and wrong numbers) in my snow flake pajama pants. i HEART contract jobs. seriously. and bob dylan sang to me the whole time. life is better.
btw, does anyone know what the arrondo plant is? i can't find anything out about it. apparently, it's bad, because the calls i was making this morning are all about this expo dealing with the safety of arrondo herbicides and arial distribution of said herbicide. info anyone?
mil besos--rmg
btw, does anyone know what the arrondo plant is? i can't find anything out about it. apparently, it's bad, because the calls i was making this morning are all about this expo dealing with the safety of arrondo herbicides and arial distribution of said herbicide. info anyone?
mil besos--rmg
01 November 2005
happy hour, anyone?
this lady needs an extra-strength martini, with extra olives, and a set of balls so she can say "no" to more projects. i just got done with a very unsatisfying planning meeting, for an even this weekend, which up until the meeting, i felt pretty good about. now, not so much. i am so irritated that i took time out of my day to drive for and hour each way to do a freaking status update, to find out that two people still hadn't done things i'd asked them to to four weeks ago. i almost threw a fit. i did manage to gracefully remind them that i was on a schedule and that we had shit to do , so to please keep tangents to a minimum. why do i feel like a bitch? yuck!remind me that i'm doing this because i like people and love the baby jesus. remind me that my way isn't the only way to get things done. remind me that it's ok to call people out when they are being dumbasses and wasting my time and others. remind me, ok?
and then, i find out that the lobby job is getting ratcheted up by a LONG shot, which means more green for me, but also more research and lots more phone calling. remind me why this is a good idea. remind me that this is keeping my foot in the door for other things, and giving me great work experience and networking capabilities. remind me,ok?
geeze oh man, when did my little life get so freaking busy? this morning, i was all in the dumps about neglecting my social life, and wondering how in the hell i was going to save myself from being a hermit for the rest of my life. suddenly, that seems like a moot point.
ok, enough griping. i have phone calls to make, and media contacts to track down. i love you crazy people.
mil besos--rmg
and then, i find out that the lobby job is getting ratcheted up by a LONG shot, which means more green for me, but also more research and lots more phone calling. remind me why this is a good idea. remind me that this is keeping my foot in the door for other things, and giving me great work experience and networking capabilities. remind me,ok?
geeze oh man, when did my little life get so freaking busy? this morning, i was all in the dumps about neglecting my social life, and wondering how in the hell i was going to save myself from being a hermit for the rest of my life. suddenly, that seems like a moot point.
ok, enough griping. i have phone calls to make, and media contacts to track down. i love you crazy people.
mil besos--rmg
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