word for the day

insanity. i heard somewhere that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time. if that's the case, then when it comes to planning and executing retreats, i have totally lost my ever-loving mind.

in 2002, i took 16 kids and two other adults to wimberley, texas. we played in the river, ate God knows how many roasted marshmallows, and played hide and go seek until we couldn't run any more. this year, there are 38 kids and five adults. i'm excited and nervous. and i'm so glad they are making sugar-free red bull that i can hardly contain myself.

i'm sure by the end of the weekend, i'll have had a little bit of sun, a little bit of drama, been farted or burped on by at least three children, had to sit someone in time out, make someone apologize for being an asshole, and be praying to God that if i ever do get married and have children that they will have all the good things my current kids have and none of the bad stuff. at some point this weekend, i will question whether God really does have a sense of humour, whether or not taking a retreat was ever a good idea, whether or not the pharmacist who fills these kids' prescriptions accidentally switched their real medicine for crack, and i will probably wonder if you can do an emergency tubal ligation on yourself with a s'more skewer and a flask full of johnny walker black. except i wouldn't take a flask of johnny walker black with me. mostly because i don't have a flask, but also because i would feel bad for drinking on the job. i hate that i have a code of ethics...

one day, i will look back on this period in my professional life and be amazed at the stamina i had, because by the time it's over with, i want to be a profession beach-bum and pina colada tester.

i hope this fall retreat is as fun, and not quite as eventful as the famous meth-lab raid of 2003. i'll keep you updated.

mil besos--r

thank God it's wednesday

if it were monday, i'd probably be in tears. i have no idea why i have such a bad attitude lately, but i sure do. i'd like to chalk it up to pms, but i'm afraid that is simply not the case. i'm just asking myself some big questions lately. like "what do i really want to do with the rest of my life?" or "who do i want to be when i'm 30?" or "what kind of a life do i want for myself?" or "what really is my vocation?" like i said, big questions.

and i'm not pretending that i think i'm the only one who ever feels this way. God knows everyone goes through some new self-discovery period every few years. it seems like it's so popular for 20somethings to go through a "quarter-life" crisis, that i think i've thought myself into that particular hole.

i mean, each of us, in our own way, is seeking to make a difference in the world. and that is going to look totally different to every person, because we all see the world through our own sets of values, mores, ideals, etc. i just want to know what God or the Universe or Ultimate Reality expects of me. and maybe that's a cop out. maybe all that God or the Universe or Ultimate Reality every really wants from us is for us to find out what makes us happy, under what set of rules we function best, how we can best fill a hole or grease a gear, etc. the frusterating thing for me right now is that i can see so many holes, and hear so many grinding gears. does that make sense?

i just think it's time to say all of this out loud, because the great bulk of you already know how i'm feeling right now, and some of you have felt this way yourselves at some point. at any rate, talking about this, and "saying it out loud" is better than gassing up the car and driving to a beach far far away. sort of.

tomorrow will be better.

mil besos-r

surreality

ok, so around 1:30 this morning, i had to get up and go potty. it took me until 3:30 ish to get back to sleep. go figure. that's the thanks i get from the body i am trying to hydrate. traitor...

at any rate, i tried frantically to go back to sleep, and all i could think of were things i needed to do at work, as well as possible blog topics to write about. once again, go figure.

some of you may know my deep affection for john cusak movies. i love them. and one of my absolute favorites was "high fidelity", based on the eponymous book by nick hornby. great book, great movie. and in the book/movie, the main character has this habit of making top five lists. i adore that. i think you can tell a lot about a person based on the topic of the lists, as well as content thereof. so this morning, in the wee wee (ha ha, get it?) hours, i came up with a list all my own to share with you guys.

ahem,

top five most surreal locations/happenings i've dealt with thus far(in no particular order)

1. being farted at/on-to during a staff meeting when i worked in dc, with nary a word to excuse the farter or to comfort the fartee (that would be me)

2. seeing an actual shark in the wild while i was snorkeling off key west three summers ago

3. last night in my car, giving "the talk" (you know the talk i'm talking about) to five of my high school cherubs

4. actually being on top of the empire state building, site of two of my favorite love stories-- an affair to remember and sleepless in seattle

5. getting coffee at national press club, and being pissed that the guy in line in front of me was hogging all the cream, only to realize that said cream hog was none other than former vice-presidential candidate joseph liberman. he's very short, and likes the cream ALOT


and there you have it, my dearies. a top five that kept me up and amused until 3:30 this am.
peace out. word to yo mutha.

mil besos-r

shoes, and ships, and sealing wax...

the short story of the rest of the vacation goes something like this-- ryan and i rented a car. we went to maine for an afternoon/evening. it was gross. we went back to boston and slept, because if we had gone out to the cape that night, it would have cost us $190 for a queen-sized bed (only one, i might add) at a best western (or something like that) in fall river. not just no, but hell no. so, we went to plymouth the next morning. the day was beautiful. high blue sky, and a little brisk. i took along a jacket. it was sunday, so the traffic wasn't bad at all. we got coffee at dunkin donuts. it was good. the breakfast sandwich i got, sadly, was gross.

i'd like to point out that texas does not have the market cornered on dumbass drivers. i'm not talking about people who occasionally space out, or drive with their blinkers on for miles, or even the one's who perpetually drive ten miles slower than the speed limit in the fast lane. no, no-- i'm talking about people who actually come to a full stop on merge lanes when there is no one coming in the next lane. i'm talking about people who aren't watching the merge traffice, they're watching you come down the ramp behind them. i'm talking about the a-hole i love tapped at the bottom of the merge lane on our way into plymouth township, who insisted on pulling over to check the bumper on his car.

brendan-- don't get all panicked. we didn't even call the cops, and all the info on my driver's license is at least three apartments old by now. sucka...

at any rate, thank God for five mile an hour bumpers, and that God loves morons. this guy had bumpers and was a moron, so all to the better, i say. yeah, instead of merging like he was supposed to, he was watching me come down the ramp. i was trying to see what was going on and why he wasn't merging when i tapped him. i was not happy. not happy at all. honest mistake, but even so. he was fine, his passenger was fine (they both said s0) but he took my info anyway. he said he'd been "watchin' yas, and i didn't like how ya was comin aff the ramp". i hope he was just having a bad and isn't really that big of an a-hole in real life...

plymouth looks like exactly what you'd expect it to look like. lots of "ye olde shoppes" along the water front. plymouth rock (see pictures) is way up at the water line, and i hate to tell you this folks, but there's no way in hell the mayflower actually got anywhere near that rock. they even told us as much on the tour of the historic MayflowerII. as an aside, Mayflower II and most of the "ye olde shoppes" were full of workers in period dress, much like Williamsburg, etc. it's kind of informational and kind of creepy. plymouth was interesting-- i didn't get the chills or the warm fuzzies, but i did get a little teary reading the native american plaque. as much as i'm glad for forward progress and all, and as thankful as i am to live in a free/industrialized nation, it makes me sad to think of all the people who got stepped on and over on our way to where we are.

the ride home was uneventful. we returned the car, told the guy about the bumper dude, and went to find some lunch. we ended up eating on newberry street, but sadly missed the tricycle man who screams at people to move. we drank some adult beverages, and watched the red sox game on tv. once we had a decent buzz, we called my mother, because that's just what ryan and i do when we drink together. i don't remember what we talked about, but i know everyone was laughing. we did actually make it back to ryan's and promptly fell asleep.

monday was lots of walking-- we went to harvard square, and while i wanted to buy something in the harvard bookstore, i didn't want to spend $60 on any given item. so we ate some really bad mexican food and went back to town. and then i bought my obligatory t-shirts, etc. then we went home, and slept some more. and then, i had to be up at 3am on tuesday, so i could come home.

and just like paul harvey says, now you know the rest of the story.

something informaiton and enlightening to post next time, perchance.

smooches--r

it takes a village...

this week has been...special. if it hadn't been for my kids-- who seemed to make me laugh at all the right moments, and my mother--who seems to be willing to listen to me talk about damn near anything, i might have just run away from home. i think i may be bordering on what some people call "burn-out". seems like a candy-assed thing to say, since i just got back from a week away, but it's true nonetheless.

the move into the new offices has been...interesting, and the start of the school year seems to be on super fast-forward. it's just been a really stressful couple of months. i'm sure everything will time out and get smoother. or at least i hope so. i'd hate to be staring down the barrel of christmas still feeling like i'm barely treading water. yuck.

the kids are great though. apparently, one of my cherubs burped so loud last night that he actually stopped conversation in the next room. thank God it was Rhoda's bible study, and they think stuff like that is funny, or i would have been in a world of hurt.

i still have to finish telling my vacation stories, i'm just kind of pooped right now, and need to go buy dodge balls for sunday youth group.

i promise to have something good to say.

love--rachel

me, in central park. oh yeah. 

pictures!!

ok, i will finish telling stories about my trip tomorrow, but i wanted to share some pictures with you guys.

mil besos--r

this is just one of the shots of times' square. it's insanely busy, and loud, and exceedingly wonderful. 

yeah, we saw this one, too.  

one of the coolest things i saw on my whole freaking trip... 

squanto was a hottie. if i had been a pilgrim, i definately would have envited him to thanksgiving dinner, and not given him smallpox. 

this was a very early morning, after a very late night. but it's me, on the empire state, with manhattan in the back ground. 

i don't know what this rock did to be locked away like this, but it ought to be a crime...i hope plymouth rock learns it's lesson! 

representing the fine people of good shepherd in my red staff shirt from bible school, in front of rockefeller center. 

i tried to be a puritan, but it just wouldn't take. here's me in some gross gift shop in plymouth 

six hours on a bus-- what can you do besides take benedryl and pictures? 

me and ryan in front of new york's town hall. this is where part of the movie "a mighty wind" takes place. we loved this movie!! 

ok, this is central park, same picture, but in the right direction... 

my finger got in the way...but doesn't it look like a miracle from heaven?  

mas y mas

ok, so i'm back in austin. i've been up since 3am, because i had to catch a cab at 3:30, to be at the airport at 4am, since my flight left at 6am, even though the a-holes at united check-in didn't show up until 4:45am, so i missed my last shot at a dunkin' donuts iced french vanilla latte with double milk and double sugar. booo.

but, i made it back in one piece, and that's really the important part of the story.

when last we spoke, i was in new york city. what a freaking sweet time. i had no idea you could get dirt rings around your ankles, even if you were wearing pants. i had no idea that taxi cabs really did get up on two wheels. i had no idea that a six hour bus ride could actually feel like a six year bus ride. if you have the means, i highly suggest taking the fung wah bus line from boston's china town to new york's china town. holy crap, what an experience. who knew any single experience could make a 15 minute stop at a roy rogers in new haven look like a 15 minute detour to heaven?

i had no idea that maine is actually an entire state full of towns that look exactly like waco (the name of one of the towns was actually saco. coincidence? i think not...) and college station and abilene, with a smidge or two of fredricksburg's faux arty pretentions. i had no idea that moxy cola is secretly just carbonated robitussin cough syrup (yet another item we found in maine, i might add). i had no idea that i could actually hate a cat, ever, until said cat peed on my stuff. i had no idea that the only thing more addictive than crack is a cannoli from mike's pastry in the north end of boston.

i had no idea how much overly apologetic waitstaff annoys me, until that night at the bull and claw in good old wells (said hey to the place for you, hopie), when our perky high school kid kept appoligizing for how long our food took, for the fact that the credit card machine was slow, and that there was drama in the kitchen. what i really wanted an apology for was getting suckered into the all you can eat salad/soup bar in the hopes of having some chowder. after all, maine freaking owed me. i mean, it took us the better part of four hours to figure out that there were plenty of light houses in maine, but no road signs telling you how to get there. i figured i would at least get some freaking chowder out of a state that started out "quaint" and ended up "kwaint", if you know what i mean. you know what soups they had? cream of broccoli. turkey and wild rice. and split pea. i have never felt quite so smote in all my life.

more stories tomorrow-- mostly about pilgrims, and why i hate driving on merge ramps.

mil besos-r

nyc

oh my God. this really is the greatest city in the world. it smells like ass and old cigarettes mixed up with rotting fish heads. you hear a different language from every clump of people you pass by. you almost get hit by flying taxis. you see all the stereotypical new york attitude and kitsch, and it is magnificent.

i think ryan and i walked about 8000 miles yesterday. we saw all of lower, upper, and mid-town manhattan. and we slept in the tiniest one room apartment i have seen in my whole life. seriously. we saw almost every famous structure you can think of actually in person yesterday, and the one's we missed, we saw from the top of the empire state building this morning. as an aside, an 86 floor elevator ride only took about 3 minutes. my ears popped!

ok, our time is almost up at the cyber cafe on 33rd street. we're off to the donald's building to meet ryan's friend, who's coming with us to the lady liberty. i'll try and update from boston or maine soon.


life is good.

mil besos--rachel