post card from the edge, vol. 6

it's been a long hot week at camp crazy. in fact, it's so hot that the snakes are crawling into the oddest of places to find refuge. i had to close our river front today. kind of made me a little sad to know that the river is closed for the rest of the summer, even though that's only 8 more days. 8 more days, friends and neighbors, and then i come home to do whatever it is that i'm supposed to do next. i'm so excited and nervous, and a little sad that the last three months have just flown by.

let me break this week down for you in the simplest of terms. i'll just do what my 7th grade history teacher called "hit the high spots".

1) my staff and i beat the hell out of the girl scouts, who have a camp down the road from us and were dumb enough to challenge us to a flag football game. we skunked them, proving once again that jesus saves, and girl scout cookies just make you fat. it was glorious. and my mom and grammy showed up to cheer us on, which i was particularly happy about. i just stopped being sore all over my body from where the scary girls hit me, over and over and over, because cheating was the only way they were going to win. ha ha. it was amazing.

2) two of my kitchen staff boys were stupid enough to put a roasted pig head in my toilet. upon discovering it, i screamed like a little girl, and utterly queened out. my friend jackie had to get it out for me, because i started gagging, and sarah made fun of me for screaming like a girl. it was awful.

3) in retribution for the pig head, i completed the greatest prank of my life, so far. i made jello in their toilet, and covered their bathroom floor in shaving cream. i had help, but it was my idea about the jello. this cannot be overstated. i made real, congealed jello in the toilet. i am so freaking proud of this. i might not be as proud of my child, if i have one, as i am of this prank, because it was genius. and i got to use dry ice. this proves, once again, that revenge is a dish best served cold. and 18 year olds were made to be stupid, and i've already assumed that i am going to be re-pranked, and have hatched a plan for my re-prank, as well. i'll keep you posted. it'll be hard to beat the jello, though.

4) i have convinced several small children of the existance of bulligators, a carry over from my childhood. my poppy convinced me that a bulligator lived in the ill-fated basement in the house i grew up in. a bulligator is a cross between a bulldog and an alligator, and it will bite your face off. it keeps them out of scary places. they love it. i heard someone talking about their pet bulligator today, and i rubbed my hands together, content that my plan to take over the universe is, in fact, working.

life is good. pray for rain.

mil besos--rmg