ok, here are my questions for the day:
why does what tom cruise says about katie holmes get registered as news? what about that seems right?
why in the world is jay leno testifying for michael jackson? what about that seems like a good idea?
why do parents put their kids in the trunk of a car to go visit auntie so-and-so? dr. spock would definately not recommend that, would he?
why does coffee make me awake and focused if i drink it before 10am, but jittery and freaked out if i drink it after 3pm?
why can i remember what i had on during pivotal occasions/conversations in my life but have to call the bank to check my balance?
last one:
why, even though i make mine the exact same way, does my grandmother's tuna fish salad taste better than mine?
go ahead, leave a comment, i dare you.
i'll be back later, maybe even with some answers...
mil besos-r
24 May 2005
17 May 2005
truth number 2
the greatest niece/nephew ever will be discovering the universe on december 5th--probably. his/her parents are happy and doing well. his/her auntie is very excited. his/her auntie is having a hard time restraining the urgent need to shop and buy lots of fun baby things. yay.
mil besos-r
mil besos-r
my favorite art form
ok, it's 2:30pm and i just got out of the most pointless staff meeting ever. staff meetings are a waste of time, and i happen to believe that waste is a sin.
the only thing that could make me feel better (ok, it's on the short list of things that could make me feel better) is a killer nap. and i don't just mean the fall asleep on the couch by accident while you're trying to watch oprah. i'm talking about the full on purposeful nap. you know what i mean-- the kind of nap where you eat a little extra food at lunch to push you into a carb-coma, rush home before you get crossed eyed at the wheel, throw on your pj pants and a t-shirt (my preferred outfit: blue and white pin-stripe old navy cotton boxer pants and a [plain white hanes undershirt-- best outfit in the world. i love that outfit more than i will probably love my wedding dress) crank the air conditioner down to 65, turn off the cell phone, snuggle under the covers and sleep.
and not just any ordinary sleep, either. i mean sleep like you can only get when you take a really intentional, well-planned nap. the kind of sleep that takes you 30 minutes to climb out of because you are so relaxed that your whole body just kind of tingles, the kind of sleep that you wake from briefly to drink some water or go potty and then rush right back into (because, let's face it, if you asked for an i.v. and a foley before you went to sleep, people would look at you all funny). the kind of sleep that starts at 4pm on an idle tuesday and ends somewhere around 7am on wednesday. it's amazing.
i remember my golden days of napping-- napping was what i referred to as sleep in college. my friends and mom knew when i had class, and knew if i wasn't in class, i was prolly working on homework or asleep. people knew when to call, when to come by, and they never, ever messed with my nap schedule. it was wonderful. i could work until 3am, sleep until my 10 am class, go to class until 2 or 3pm, come home and nap until 6pm, go eat dinner at the cafeteria (or cook after i moved out of the dorm), come home and study or do homework until 2 or 3am and start the cycle all over again. it was glorious. ah, college, how i occasionally miss you...
life is good. sleep is good. once i finally get home today (it's a long one, today friends and neighbors. two of my cherubs wanted to have one last breakfast with little old me before they graduate, so i met them at our spot at 7am, and tonight is a graduation party for a staff member, so i won't be home until 8pm. please hold all calls and questions until then...) i need to pack for my weekend jaunt to the piney woods, thank G-d i did laundry and ironed last night.
ta ta for now, my compatriots.
viva la nap. mil besos--r
the only thing that could make me feel better (ok, it's on the short list of things that could make me feel better) is a killer nap. and i don't just mean the fall asleep on the couch by accident while you're trying to watch oprah. i'm talking about the full on purposeful nap. you know what i mean-- the kind of nap where you eat a little extra food at lunch to push you into a carb-coma, rush home before you get crossed eyed at the wheel, throw on your pj pants and a t-shirt (my preferred outfit: blue and white pin-stripe old navy cotton boxer pants and a [plain white hanes undershirt-- best outfit in the world. i love that outfit more than i will probably love my wedding dress) crank the air conditioner down to 65, turn off the cell phone, snuggle under the covers and sleep.
and not just any ordinary sleep, either. i mean sleep like you can only get when you take a really intentional, well-planned nap. the kind of sleep that takes you 30 minutes to climb out of because you are so relaxed that your whole body just kind of tingles, the kind of sleep that you wake from briefly to drink some water or go potty and then rush right back into (because, let's face it, if you asked for an i.v. and a foley before you went to sleep, people would look at you all funny). the kind of sleep that starts at 4pm on an idle tuesday and ends somewhere around 7am on wednesday. it's amazing.
i remember my golden days of napping-- napping was what i referred to as sleep in college. my friends and mom knew when i had class, and knew if i wasn't in class, i was prolly working on homework or asleep. people knew when to call, when to come by, and they never, ever messed with my nap schedule. it was wonderful. i could work until 3am, sleep until my 10 am class, go to class until 2 or 3pm, come home and nap until 6pm, go eat dinner at the cafeteria (or cook after i moved out of the dorm), come home and study or do homework until 2 or 3am and start the cycle all over again. it was glorious. ah, college, how i occasionally miss you...
life is good. sleep is good. once i finally get home today (it's a long one, today friends and neighbors. two of my cherubs wanted to have one last breakfast with little old me before they graduate, so i met them at our spot at 7am, and tonight is a graduation party for a staff member, so i won't be home until 8pm. please hold all calls and questions until then...) i need to pack for my weekend jaunt to the piney woods, thank G-d i did laundry and ironed last night.
ta ta for now, my compatriots.
viva la nap. mil besos--r
16 May 2005
bad sign...
what happens when you have the only inanimate object in the zodiac as your sign? crappy horoscopes like this:
You may not have much luck getting to sleep for a day or so, especially if you've been trying to figure out how to deal with an extremely precarious personal situation.
well thank you Captain Obvious for that stunning and suprising report. geeze oh man, people, geeze oh man. i should tell you that i really don't put much stock in crap like horoscopes, etc. i pretty much think they are crap, all the time. today's hit the nail on the head, though. i don't know if that's coincidence, like how if you put 20 chimps in a room with 20 typewritters and locked them in for a certain period of time at some point they would have typed out all of shakespeare's sonnets, or if El Jefe (that's mary's baby daddy) is trying to get my attention by any means necessary. i know, El Jefe only rarely gets militant, but it's been known to happen from time to time.
the funny thing is, i've had a string of really great days. i don't mean days where it's all happy-happy joy-joy, but great days nonetheless. some light thinking, but no car crying, some light journaling, but no really bad poetry, some recreational alcohol consumption, but no drunk-dailing. i even found time to work on my tan this weekend. and brunch after baby nels' baptism was ab-fab. i am still a little full, i must confess. and then last night at about 8pm i just start on this spiral of thought that just never got to the bottom of everything. it sucked.
it was like i couldn't stop thinking-- and i don't mean just about me and my life. i was thinking about the november arrival of my fabulous niece or nephew, about my friend a-rod and how he needs a new job, about all these random interviews i have been encouraged to take--like everywhere from kansas to atlanta to houston, whether or not i am secretly out to break my own heart, etc. ok, so i did think alot about my life. and i tried the old trick of counting backwards from 476 (it used to work when i was little), i did my yoga breathing, i tried thinking of nice things, i imagined all my favorite colors in order (blue like the sky, green like the grass, brown like the dirt, etc...), i tried to sing all the verses from american pie inside my head, because i know the whole song is 24 minutes long, and i just knew that would put me to sleep.
i thought about turning the light on and reading some more, but by this time, it was almost 2, and i was afraid that if i started reading, i would get really interested and end up even more awake than i already was. i should have turned on the light. but i didn't come to that realization until about 6am, when i got up to go to the bathroom and realized that i had to be at work in 3.5 hours. i was not happy.
let me just say this: i know why they use sleeplessness to torture people. lack of sleep gets inside your head-- it makes you wonder about things you just should leave alone. it sucks.
sometimes i think i should change the blog's name from "blue plate special" to "welcome to my neurotic universe". it's bizarre, because i know i don't have a big old case of the crazies-- this is normal, i am ok, and lord knows i give a lot of latitude when it comes to the rest of the human race actually being human. maybe this is what mary luna meant when she told me i needed to learn to be gentle with myself. and maybe this is a start. so, keep reading if you dare. heaven knows i can't keep from writing it all down, in some form or fashion. in the mean time ( oh G-d, there is a song in that phrase, i just know it...) i'm going to go make a pot of coffee and finish my magical work notebook.
mil besos--rmg
*in the mean time,
in between time,
oh there's a fine line
between where you are
and where you wish to be*
You may not have much luck getting to sleep for a day or so, especially if you've been trying to figure out how to deal with an extremely precarious personal situation.
well thank you Captain Obvious for that stunning and suprising report. geeze oh man, people, geeze oh man. i should tell you that i really don't put much stock in crap like horoscopes, etc. i pretty much think they are crap, all the time. today's hit the nail on the head, though. i don't know if that's coincidence, like how if you put 20 chimps in a room with 20 typewritters and locked them in for a certain period of time at some point they would have typed out all of shakespeare's sonnets, or if El Jefe (that's mary's baby daddy) is trying to get my attention by any means necessary. i know, El Jefe only rarely gets militant, but it's been known to happen from time to time.
the funny thing is, i've had a string of really great days. i don't mean days where it's all happy-happy joy-joy, but great days nonetheless. some light thinking, but no car crying, some light journaling, but no really bad poetry, some recreational alcohol consumption, but no drunk-dailing. i even found time to work on my tan this weekend. and brunch after baby nels' baptism was ab-fab. i am still a little full, i must confess. and then last night at about 8pm i just start on this spiral of thought that just never got to the bottom of everything. it sucked.
it was like i couldn't stop thinking-- and i don't mean just about me and my life. i was thinking about the november arrival of my fabulous niece or nephew, about my friend a-rod and how he needs a new job, about all these random interviews i have been encouraged to take--like everywhere from kansas to atlanta to houston, whether or not i am secretly out to break my own heart, etc. ok, so i did think alot about my life. and i tried the old trick of counting backwards from 476 (it used to work when i was little), i did my yoga breathing, i tried thinking of nice things, i imagined all my favorite colors in order (blue like the sky, green like the grass, brown like the dirt, etc...), i tried to sing all the verses from american pie inside my head, because i know the whole song is 24 minutes long, and i just knew that would put me to sleep.
i thought about turning the light on and reading some more, but by this time, it was almost 2, and i was afraid that if i started reading, i would get really interested and end up even more awake than i already was. i should have turned on the light. but i didn't come to that realization until about 6am, when i got up to go to the bathroom and realized that i had to be at work in 3.5 hours. i was not happy.
let me just say this: i know why they use sleeplessness to torture people. lack of sleep gets inside your head-- it makes you wonder about things you just should leave alone. it sucks.
sometimes i think i should change the blog's name from "blue plate special" to "welcome to my neurotic universe". it's bizarre, because i know i don't have a big old case of the crazies-- this is normal, i am ok, and lord knows i give a lot of latitude when it comes to the rest of the human race actually being human. maybe this is what mary luna meant when she told me i needed to learn to be gentle with myself. and maybe this is a start. so, keep reading if you dare. heaven knows i can't keep from writing it all down, in some form or fashion. in the mean time ( oh G-d, there is a song in that phrase, i just know it...) i'm going to go make a pot of coffee and finish my magical work notebook.
mil besos--rmg
*in the mean time,
in between time,
oh there's a fine line
between where you are
and where you wish to be*
12 May 2005
a word about popular culture...
against the advice of "he who must be gratuitously footnoted and only occasionally obeyed", i am going to publish this post.
here's the deal, i have noticed a particular set of social ills that i fear must be addressed if we, as a civilized society, are going to achieve any progress beyond the ipod and aluminum foil. this is almost as important as the rant about why expansion teams aren't real and it's companion rant regarding the designated hitter. however, be advised that this rant may indeed hit a bit more close to home for all of you loyal blue-platters, because it's got nothing to do with major league sports at all. no, this time it's personal. this time, it's about porn.
that's right. i said it. porn. the pernicious evil that stalks and sours our minds. and i'm not just talking about "adult entertainment". it will be addressed, don't worry, but the side of porn about which i am most concerned is the emotional porn that hollywood churns out with wild abandon, the kind of porn you can take your little sister to watch and not feel like a perv. i'm not talking about movies like "naked nurses in space", etc. no, i'm talking about movies like "shakespeare in love" (oh, it hurt to write that. such a great movie...), "the notebook", and "notting hill".
here's my problem with porn, emotional or other wise. it's not real. it's fantasy. but there are people who know that on one level (like the level of "i'm sitting in this movie and watching this happen on a screen with fantastically good looking people who i also see on the cover of "people" and "us weekly" while i'm buying milk and toilet paper at the grocery") who fail to compute it on other levels. for example, i've heard not just one or two or three or even four of my nearest and dearest comment after watching such drivel (it's very, very good drivel, albeit very, very dangerous drivel) as "the notebook" or "garden state", "i wish a boy would love me like that..." in a wistful tone with misty, glossed over eyes. and that's when i realized that i had come face to face with emotional porn junkies. women who had bought into the lie that hollywood has created-- the perfect relationship.
you know the one i'm talking about. it goes something like this on the big screen:
boy meets girl, or girl meets boy.
boy and girl hook up.
boy and or girl cheats, dies, is maimed in some horrible accident, finds out they are switched at birth, knocks someone up or gets knocked up after a wild night of partying, etc.
boy and or girl makes sobbing confession, after which all is forgiven.
boy and girl ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after with no consequences, couples' counseling, or attachment issues.
and it goes something like this on the small screen, i.e.lifetime (television for women) movies...
girl is born into some kind of either very disturbingly normal or very disturbingly disfunctional family.
girl runs off to the big city/college/new town/career prospect to escape family or to hide that she's preggers.
girl meets extremely handsome man who seems too good to be true.
girl figures out that extremely handsome man IS too good to be true. she marries him anyway, has his child (who gets switched at birth, or needs a kidney, or almost dies in some bizarre way), and just before she gets put in the chipper shredder/sold off to pay mr. wonderful's gambling debts in sri lanka/has to be impregnated with alien spawn in some kind of twilight-zoney twist, she meets the less-handsome, but ever so normal and sweet and complying yard man/secret agent who's been trying to arrest her husband for 20 years/slightly retarded janitor at the hospital where her and mr. wonderful's child is being hidden.
girl is swept off her feet by mr. normal.
mr. wonderful gets sucked into the chipper-shredder in a freak accident/is finally eliminated for his sri lankan gambling debts by the sri lankan mafia/falls off his boat with frolicking with his mistress in key west and is eaten by sharks.
girl is free to marry mr. normal.
they live happily ever after in the nut hut ward of the hospital...or something like that.
i'd like to take a brief moment to point out that the likelihood of any of the scenarios actually taking place in real life is slim to none, people. i mean like one in maybe 8 billion. and there are only 6.5 billion people on the planet. thank God most of them can't get lifetime on their tv's. thank God most of the don't have tv's...but i do wish they had access to decent healthcare... Different rant...focus, must focus...
ok, so the evil that emotional porn does is this: it dumbs down relationships. it makes people doubt the authenticity of their individual experiences. it makes people feel kind of chicken-fingered (got that little adjective from esteban the boobarian) and helpless when their scenarios don't match up to the ones they see on screen, even though they know in some part of their heads that it's "not real". people on screen are always saying the perfect thing in situations, or wearing the perfect thing at events, or being the perfect hostess/ladyfriend/mother/sister/daughter/etc. and some how, we get caught up in that. we get caught up in thinking that our bodies, lives, careers, and relationships should some how match up to the screen plays that flood our minds. and sometimes, that is very destructive.
now, i'm not saying that movies are bad, or that made for tv movies are bad. not in and of themselves, anyway. i'm just saying that when we are presented with the pictures of seeming perfection on a day to day basis the way we seem to be in 2005 post 9-11 american society, we need to remind ourselves that it really is just a movie. and that our lives are really, really real, and there is not point at which we get a "take 2" on scene 5. and the way we do it, although it's broken, messy, scary, and sometimes painful, and even though our make-up slides right off at the very moment we don't want it to, it's ok. it's more than ok--it's real and it's beautiful.
that's really all i wanted to say.
thanks for reading, folks. see you soon. this time tomorrow, i will be neck-deep in the little blanco river. hooooooooray. and baby nels will be baptized on sunday. double hoooooray. i got him the best book ever. i can't wait to read it to him. life is good.
mil besos--r
here's the deal, i have noticed a particular set of social ills that i fear must be addressed if we, as a civilized society, are going to achieve any progress beyond the ipod and aluminum foil. this is almost as important as the rant about why expansion teams aren't real and it's companion rant regarding the designated hitter. however, be advised that this rant may indeed hit a bit more close to home for all of you loyal blue-platters, because it's got nothing to do with major league sports at all. no, this time it's personal. this time, it's about porn.
that's right. i said it. porn. the pernicious evil that stalks and sours our minds. and i'm not just talking about "adult entertainment". it will be addressed, don't worry, but the side of porn about which i am most concerned is the emotional porn that hollywood churns out with wild abandon, the kind of porn you can take your little sister to watch and not feel like a perv. i'm not talking about movies like "naked nurses in space", etc. no, i'm talking about movies like "shakespeare in love" (oh, it hurt to write that. such a great movie...), "the notebook", and "notting hill".
here's my problem with porn, emotional or other wise. it's not real. it's fantasy. but there are people who know that on one level (like the level of "i'm sitting in this movie and watching this happen on a screen with fantastically good looking people who i also see on the cover of "people" and "us weekly" while i'm buying milk and toilet paper at the grocery") who fail to compute it on other levels. for example, i've heard not just one or two or three or even four of my nearest and dearest comment after watching such drivel (it's very, very good drivel, albeit very, very dangerous drivel) as "the notebook" or "garden state", "i wish a boy would love me like that..." in a wistful tone with misty, glossed over eyes. and that's when i realized that i had come face to face with emotional porn junkies. women who had bought into the lie that hollywood has created-- the perfect relationship.
you know the one i'm talking about. it goes something like this on the big screen:
boy meets girl, or girl meets boy.
boy and girl hook up.
boy and or girl cheats, dies, is maimed in some horrible accident, finds out they are switched at birth, knocks someone up or gets knocked up after a wild night of partying, etc.
boy and or girl makes sobbing confession, after which all is forgiven.
boy and girl ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after with no consequences, couples' counseling, or attachment issues.
and it goes something like this on the small screen, i.e.lifetime (television for women) movies...
girl is born into some kind of either very disturbingly normal or very disturbingly disfunctional family.
girl runs off to the big city/college/new town/career prospect to escape family or to hide that she's preggers.
girl meets extremely handsome man who seems too good to be true.
girl figures out that extremely handsome man IS too good to be true. she marries him anyway, has his child (who gets switched at birth, or needs a kidney, or almost dies in some bizarre way), and just before she gets put in the chipper shredder/sold off to pay mr. wonderful's gambling debts in sri lanka/has to be impregnated with alien spawn in some kind of twilight-zoney twist, she meets the less-handsome, but ever so normal and sweet and complying yard man/secret agent who's been trying to arrest her husband for 20 years/slightly retarded janitor at the hospital where her and mr. wonderful's child is being hidden.
girl is swept off her feet by mr. normal.
mr. wonderful gets sucked into the chipper-shredder in a freak accident/is finally eliminated for his sri lankan gambling debts by the sri lankan mafia/falls off his boat with frolicking with his mistress in key west and is eaten by sharks.
girl is free to marry mr. normal.
they live happily ever after in the nut hut ward of the hospital...or something like that.
i'd like to take a brief moment to point out that the likelihood of any of the scenarios actually taking place in real life is slim to none, people. i mean like one in maybe 8 billion. and there are only 6.5 billion people on the planet. thank God most of them can't get lifetime on their tv's. thank God most of the don't have tv's...but i do wish they had access to decent healthcare... Different rant...focus, must focus...
ok, so the evil that emotional porn does is this: it dumbs down relationships. it makes people doubt the authenticity of their individual experiences. it makes people feel kind of chicken-fingered (got that little adjective from esteban the boobarian) and helpless when their scenarios don't match up to the ones they see on screen, even though they know in some part of their heads that it's "not real". people on screen are always saying the perfect thing in situations, or wearing the perfect thing at events, or being the perfect hostess/ladyfriend/mother/sister/daughter/etc. and some how, we get caught up in that. we get caught up in thinking that our bodies, lives, careers, and relationships should some how match up to the screen plays that flood our minds. and sometimes, that is very destructive.
now, i'm not saying that movies are bad, or that made for tv movies are bad. not in and of themselves, anyway. i'm just saying that when we are presented with the pictures of seeming perfection on a day to day basis the way we seem to be in 2005 post 9-11 american society, we need to remind ourselves that it really is just a movie. and that our lives are really, really real, and there is not point at which we get a "take 2" on scene 5. and the way we do it, although it's broken, messy, scary, and sometimes painful, and even though our make-up slides right off at the very moment we don't want it to, it's ok. it's more than ok--it's real and it's beautiful.
that's really all i wanted to say.
thanks for reading, folks. see you soon. this time tomorrow, i will be neck-deep in the little blanco river. hooooooooray. and baby nels will be baptized on sunday. double hoooooray. i got him the best book ever. i can't wait to read it to him. life is good.
mil besos--r
11 May 2005
fanciness and the briefest of confessions...
i am going to the ballet tomorrow, and i am so freaking excited i can't sit still. that could also be the diet coke i just pounded, but we'll stick with excitement for now. my friend kk called me yesterday with the exciting news that her non-profit had gotten some tix to see swan lake, and asked if i wanted to go. duh. i love the ballet. i love the fancy. i love bass concert hall. i love any excuse to dress up and go to a late supper and feel like a grown-up. and i do love swan lake. in fact, i've been driving by the sign everyday for two weeks wishing i were going, but a) i can't rationalize tickets to the ballet at this point in my fiscal year, and b) i don't want to go see a sad ballet by myself.
confession number 851: i am a control freak. there i said it. i have a deep and abiding need to be in control, or at least feel like i am in control. my frequently sited, but unnamed source and i had a long and drawn out conversation re: same last night. it was lots of things. see further comments...
the biggest part of my angst (i hate, hate, hate that word, btw) with job, life, etc. right now is that i don't feel like i'm the one calling the shots right now, and it makes me nuts. i know, i know, i work with junior high kids everyday, you'd think that control would not be a problem for me. like that i could just plan and execute at work, and once i got home i'd be a normal person. not the case. not the case at all. just ask my mother, who's had to deal with my control freak issues since about 5 seconds after i was born. pile my penchant for being totally self-sufficient on top of that, and you have a world class neurosis on your hands, friends and neighbors. that being said, i'd also like to say that i didn't yell at any one in traffic today. i didn't even use my horn. and i let someone buy me coffee today.
so there. now that you have this information, you must use it only for good. and you're not allowed to call me out, unless you can pair said calling out with something nice, as well. for example: "Rachel, you are spazzing out about this because you don't have total control. Git over yourself. You are a nice girl, but not all that important to the grand scheme of this particular situation. Now, let me buy you a nice chai latte--would you like soy milk or 2%?" see how easy that was?
tune in tomorrow when i try and formulate a rant to end all rants. the suspense is maddening...
mil besos-r
confession number 851: i am a control freak. there i said it. i have a deep and abiding need to be in control, or at least feel like i am in control. my frequently sited, but unnamed source and i had a long and drawn out conversation re: same last night. it was lots of things. see further comments...
the biggest part of my angst (i hate, hate, hate that word, btw) with job, life, etc. right now is that i don't feel like i'm the one calling the shots right now, and it makes me nuts. i know, i know, i work with junior high kids everyday, you'd think that control would not be a problem for me. like that i could just plan and execute at work, and once i got home i'd be a normal person. not the case. not the case at all. just ask my mother, who's had to deal with my control freak issues since about 5 seconds after i was born. pile my penchant for being totally self-sufficient on top of that, and you have a world class neurosis on your hands, friends and neighbors. that being said, i'd also like to say that i didn't yell at any one in traffic today. i didn't even use my horn. and i let someone buy me coffee today.
so there. now that you have this information, you must use it only for good. and you're not allowed to call me out, unless you can pair said calling out with something nice, as well. for example: "Rachel, you are spazzing out about this because you don't have total control. Git over yourself. You are a nice girl, but not all that important to the grand scheme of this particular situation. Now, let me buy you a nice chai latte--would you like soy milk or 2%?" see how easy that was?
tune in tomorrow when i try and formulate a rant to end all rants. the suspense is maddening...
mil besos-r
05 May 2005
you said it, man
neil young just came on the radio--- keep on rockin' in the free world.
you betcha, mister. you betcha.
you betcha, mister. you betcha.
round two, ding...
ok, i just finished with a rough draft of "everything you might need to know about the mess i made while i was working". it's six pages long. i need to go thru it and do revisions. i need to go through and do clarifications. i need to draft a companion document to explain all the acronyms, guilds, and committees that the poor idiot who comes after me will have to navigate. i'm hoping to keep the whole thing under 20 pages, but i'm not hopeful.
when i left my job in dc, i left a two-inch three ring binder, an entire zip disk, and several floppy disks worth of information for whoever came after me. it was incredible. all that whole year, i thought i had just been sending faxes, planning parties, and answering phones. putting that info together was cathartic, helpful, and uplifting. i'm hoping this will be a similar experience.
and just like andy dufresne says in the shawshank redemption, hope is a good thing--maybe the best thing.
now will someone please send me some funny email, because baby nels' mother just sent me the most depressing website i've ever seen...
mil besos--r
when i left my job in dc, i left a two-inch three ring binder, an entire zip disk, and several floppy disks worth of information for whoever came after me. it was incredible. all that whole year, i thought i had just been sending faxes, planning parties, and answering phones. putting that info together was cathartic, helpful, and uplifting. i'm hoping this will be a similar experience.
and just like andy dufresne says in the shawshank redemption, hope is a good thing--maybe the best thing.
now will someone please send me some funny email, because baby nels' mother just sent me the most depressing website i've ever seen...
mil besos--r
3,2,1 blast off!!
it's acsension day, people: a little known, but principle feast of the church, in which we celebrate Jesus blasting off into the clouds and his promise to come back and get us one day. it's a good time. i like that the germans refer to it as "christehimmelfaart". you can guess why. it's companion feast is "mariahimmelfaart", the ascension of mary (the bvm, not the girlfriend). i like that day, too. you can probably guess why, again.
so i made a mental note to myself last night at about 2am. i should not have two giant cups of coffee after 3pm. it makes for odd/not much sleep. on the other hand, it provided me with ample time to talk to the bvm's baby-daddy. that's God, in case you were wondering. i did more talking that i've done in the past. prolly should have spent more time listening, but since i was praying for rest, as well, when the urge hit, i fell right asleep. there is something nice about falling asleep while you're praying, even though you (or at least i) feel a little bit guilty for stalling out on my end of the conversation. at any rate, i feel better, even if i am a little on the sleepy side today.
i'm done for the moment. i'm sure i'll prolly post a little more later on today. i am incredibly bored at work today-- putting notes together for the next poor idiot that does my job. it's mildy interesting, but looking back at the year i've put in and the amount of actual work i have done is staggering. makes me tired to think about it, to be honest. but it makes me a little bit proud, too.
mil besos-r
so i made a mental note to myself last night at about 2am. i should not have two giant cups of coffee after 3pm. it makes for odd/not much sleep. on the other hand, it provided me with ample time to talk to the bvm's baby-daddy. that's God, in case you were wondering. i did more talking that i've done in the past. prolly should have spent more time listening, but since i was praying for rest, as well, when the urge hit, i fell right asleep. there is something nice about falling asleep while you're praying, even though you (or at least i) feel a little bit guilty for stalling out on my end of the conversation. at any rate, i feel better, even if i am a little on the sleepy side today.
i'm done for the moment. i'm sure i'll prolly post a little more later on today. i am incredibly bored at work today-- putting notes together for the next poor idiot that does my job. it's mildy interesting, but looking back at the year i've put in and the amount of actual work i have done is staggering. makes me tired to think about it, to be honest. but it makes me a little bit proud, too.
mil besos-r
04 May 2005
third time's a charm...
ok, so the headache was definately caffeine related.
hello, my name is rachel, and i am addicted to caffeine. there, i said it.
i have had two giant cups of coffee, and even though i still have allergy head, i no longer feel like i'm swimming through a pool of pancake syrup. that would be gross in real life. sick out.
i have moved on from leondard cohen-- bethy, i have no idea who taught you to be so freaking cool, kiddo, but i like to think i had something to do with it, even though i didn't. i guess you and your brother turned out fine, despite the fact that you lived in rochelle during most of your formative years, and then moved to the booming metropolis of lubbock. you must come from good stock.
at any rate, jack johnson is on the mp3 player now, so inspite of the fact that i have on a skirt and sit in an ergonmically balanced chair, i chair dancing like a maniac. thank G-d i finally got an office with a door. too bad the refrigerator lives in my office too, so people are in and out all the freaking time. oh the wonders of my job... screw it, i'm dancing anyway.
mil besos-r
hello, my name is rachel, and i am addicted to caffeine. there, i said it.
i have had two giant cups of coffee, and even though i still have allergy head, i no longer feel like i'm swimming through a pool of pancake syrup. that would be gross in real life. sick out.
i have moved on from leondard cohen-- bethy, i have no idea who taught you to be so freaking cool, kiddo, but i like to think i had something to do with it, even though i didn't. i guess you and your brother turned out fine, despite the fact that you lived in rochelle during most of your formative years, and then moved to the booming metropolis of lubbock. you must come from good stock.
at any rate, jack johnson is on the mp3 player now, so inspite of the fact that i have on a skirt and sit in an ergonmically balanced chair, i chair dancing like a maniac. thank G-d i finally got an office with a door. too bad the refrigerator lives in my office too, so people are in and out all the freaking time. oh the wonders of my job... screw it, i'm dancing anyway.
mil besos-r
since i can't think up something to say...
i'll just rip this off...
i found this a few weeks ago when i was looking for youth sunday material. it's amazing, and i wanted you guys to see it, as well...
Do not seek too much fame,
But do not seek obscurity.
Be proud.
But do not remind the world of your deeds.
Excel when you must,
But do not excel the world.
Many heroes are not yet born,
Many have already died.
To be alive to hear this song is a victory.
A Song from West Africa
i like this song for a lot of reasons, but mostly because i can just be me inside of it. there is something restful about that thought, and for today, it is enough.
mil besos--r
i found this a few weeks ago when i was looking for youth sunday material. it's amazing, and i wanted you guys to see it, as well...
Do not seek too much fame,
But do not seek obscurity.
Be proud.
But do not remind the world of your deeds.
Excel when you must,
But do not excel the world.
Many heroes are not yet born,
Many have already died.
To be alive to hear this song is a victory.
A Song from West Africa
i like this song for a lot of reasons, but mostly because i can just be me inside of it. there is something restful about that thought, and for today, it is enough.
mil besos--r
making it
that's what i'm shooting for, at this point. just making it. my allergies are killing me today. the smoke from mexico is making me feel like some serious run over poop today. i contemplated staying home today, but i knew i had a meeting at work, and some phone calls to make, and i would think about work, even if i weren't at work. so i put on my cute long red linen skirt and my favorite brown t-shirt from old navy and went to work. the meeting was good. long, but good. and now i have a headache. i probably haven't fed my caffiene beast enough today. i may go make a pot of coffee to remedy that situation shortly. like you needed to know that, but whatever.
i bought a leonard cohen cd yesterday. despite what baby nels' mother had to say about it, i am rather enjoying it. in fact, it's fairly brilliant and wonderful. lots of good lyrics, lots of good acoustic guitar. and the fact that mr. cohen's voice isn't overwhelming lets you really listen to what he's got to say. i like it. you should check it out on itunes, or something. sisters of mercy is an excellent track, as is chelsea hotel.
i wish i had something fabulous to say, but my allergy head prevents me from communicating anything profound at this point. i think i'm going to go buy some black and white disposable cameras and start snapping pictures for my bathroom graffitti book. i just have to figure out if i'm only going to shoot texas bathroom graffitti, or if i'm going to take it with me to tennesee on mission trip later this summer. it's going to mean staying pretty organized and writing down locations and exposure numbers on lots of notepads. probably also means having mini-essays about each place i stop. it may just turn into an extended blog entry, for all i know, but i have got to have a creative outlet at the moment, or my head might explode.
mil besos--r
i bought a leonard cohen cd yesterday. despite what baby nels' mother had to say about it, i am rather enjoying it. in fact, it's fairly brilliant and wonderful. lots of good lyrics, lots of good acoustic guitar. and the fact that mr. cohen's voice isn't overwhelming lets you really listen to what he's got to say. i like it. you should check it out on itunes, or something. sisters of mercy is an excellent track, as is chelsea hotel.
i wish i had something fabulous to say, but my allergy head prevents me from communicating anything profound at this point. i think i'm going to go buy some black and white disposable cameras and start snapping pictures for my bathroom graffitti book. i just have to figure out if i'm only going to shoot texas bathroom graffitti, or if i'm going to take it with me to tennesee on mission trip later this summer. it's going to mean staying pretty organized and writing down locations and exposure numbers on lots of notepads. probably also means having mini-essays about each place i stop. it may just turn into an extended blog entry, for all i know, but i have got to have a creative outlet at the moment, or my head might explode.
mil besos--r
02 May 2005
and we're back...
ok, after a two week break for r&r, i'm back on the blog-wagon. i know, i know, i promise to try and not leave you for this long with out an update ever again. think about how sad my real journal at home feels when it gets picked up after 3 months of silence on my part...
ok, ok, so the wedding was fabulous. it was a fam-fest, which was a good thing. highly entertaining is the correct wording. i also discovered the middle of nowhere. it's right on the border between mississippi and alabama, is about 250 miles long, has no cell phone service, or gas stations.
mia and archie's wedding was very nice, except for the giant woman in the little tiny bathing suit who walked by, not once but twice. seriously, why do people insist on squeezing size 24 asses into size 12 bathing suits? my uncle ed and i were talking about it, and he says "did you see that ole gal walking by? hell, it got dark for a minute, didn't it?" she was huge. and quite proud. geeze oh man. so the kids got married in the shadow of one of the largest asses i have ever personally seen. even bigger than mine. way bigger. and then we went to the party. it was very nice, as well.
along the way, i had a lot of time by myself in the car to think and listen to music. i'd like to tell you that i got a lot of things sorted out, but why would i lie? i'd like to tell you that i spent time thinking about world peace, how to eliminate world debt, and whether or not i really can spare 72 cents a day to sponsor a sally struthers kid, but why would i lie? no, i mostly thought about what good cd mixes i make, whether or not i should have packed one more pair of flip flops, if i needed a new shade of powder and concealer for the summer months, and whether or not i could rationalize getting a romance novel on tape at the next cracker barrel i passed, whether or not i will get married, which is totally relevant since i'm the last unmarried cousin of marriageable age on that side of the family, and two of the cousins on that side are already having babies with wild abandon, what names i think my soon-to-arrive niece or nephew should be called (i also called niece/nephew's parents several times to relay new and fun ideas). i also thought about why i like the beach so much, why i have trouble dealing with confrontation, and why i am feeling like poop about leaving a job i really don't like anymore.
here are some answers i came up with: 1) i do make very good cd mixes. i need to make more of them. i should do soundtracks for movies. 2) i packed the exact right amount of flip flops. i just wish i had remembered to pick up my black bamboo pair from the wedding house. goodbye cute black flip-flops. we had some good times. 3) i probably do need a new powder and concealer for the summer months, but only if i intend on maintaining a tan all summer long. 4) in order to take myself remotely seriously, i decided not to check out the romance novel on tape at cracker barrell. instead, i made myself listen to rush limbaugh and sean hannity and not swear out loud. additionally, see answer #1. 5) skip it, it's totally irrelevant. i'm fabulous regardless. 6) i am voting for stella for a girl and will for a boy. 7) i like the beach because i remember what a nice time we had as a family when i was little. 8) i have trouble dealing with confrontation because i have a horrible fear of being wrong and not being able to fix a situation. confrontation shuts me right down, so that instead of being able to effect change in a postive way, i just lay down and quit. not good, not good at all. there is much to do on that avenue of my life. i'll keep you posted. just don't pick a fight with me, ok? 9) i feel like poop about leaving because endings suck, because i know some people will be mad at me for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, or for leaving at all. i still have no idea what i'm going to be doing after july 31st, and that scares me to death and back again. i feel like poop about leaving because i know that where i work is about to go through a major transition, and i just can't be there any longer to help out. i'm just done. i can make it til july because i want to do that. because i want to finish what i started and do what i said i would do. i want to go on mission trips, because they are my favorite things in the whole wide world, and i don't want that taken away from me, or from the kids. blah.
i also had two fabulous ideas that i think will merit a marketing campaign. these are even better than give-a-shit, the vitamin supplement for people who could just care less.
1) jiffy lube should start offering a foley service for people who are going on long car trips. i could have made that trip in about 8 hours without bathroom stops.
2) i want to do a photo book (like a coffee table book) of bathroom graffiti from all over the country. it would be amazing. to whom would i pitch this idea? any takers?
that's about it. gigantic congrats to archie and mia. thanks for having me along. and gigantic thanks to pedro and inez, the official corporate sponsors of rachel's alabama adventure.
mil besos--r
ok, ok, so the wedding was fabulous. it was a fam-fest, which was a good thing. highly entertaining is the correct wording. i also discovered the middle of nowhere. it's right on the border between mississippi and alabama, is about 250 miles long, has no cell phone service, or gas stations.
mia and archie's wedding was very nice, except for the giant woman in the little tiny bathing suit who walked by, not once but twice. seriously, why do people insist on squeezing size 24 asses into size 12 bathing suits? my uncle ed and i were talking about it, and he says "did you see that ole gal walking by? hell, it got dark for a minute, didn't it?" she was huge. and quite proud. geeze oh man. so the kids got married in the shadow of one of the largest asses i have ever personally seen. even bigger than mine. way bigger. and then we went to the party. it was very nice, as well.
along the way, i had a lot of time by myself in the car to think and listen to music. i'd like to tell you that i got a lot of things sorted out, but why would i lie? i'd like to tell you that i spent time thinking about world peace, how to eliminate world debt, and whether or not i really can spare 72 cents a day to sponsor a sally struthers kid, but why would i lie? no, i mostly thought about what good cd mixes i make, whether or not i should have packed one more pair of flip flops, if i needed a new shade of powder and concealer for the summer months, and whether or not i could rationalize getting a romance novel on tape at the next cracker barrel i passed, whether or not i will get married, which is totally relevant since i'm the last unmarried cousin of marriageable age on that side of the family, and two of the cousins on that side are already having babies with wild abandon, what names i think my soon-to-arrive niece or nephew should be called (i also called niece/nephew's parents several times to relay new and fun ideas). i also thought about why i like the beach so much, why i have trouble dealing with confrontation, and why i am feeling like poop about leaving a job i really don't like anymore.
here are some answers i came up with: 1) i do make very good cd mixes. i need to make more of them. i should do soundtracks for movies. 2) i packed the exact right amount of flip flops. i just wish i had remembered to pick up my black bamboo pair from the wedding house. goodbye cute black flip-flops. we had some good times. 3) i probably do need a new powder and concealer for the summer months, but only if i intend on maintaining a tan all summer long. 4) in order to take myself remotely seriously, i decided not to check out the romance novel on tape at cracker barrell. instead, i made myself listen to rush limbaugh and sean hannity and not swear out loud. additionally, see answer #1. 5) skip it, it's totally irrelevant. i'm fabulous regardless. 6) i am voting for stella for a girl and will for a boy. 7) i like the beach because i remember what a nice time we had as a family when i was little. 8) i have trouble dealing with confrontation because i have a horrible fear of being wrong and not being able to fix a situation. confrontation shuts me right down, so that instead of being able to effect change in a postive way, i just lay down and quit. not good, not good at all. there is much to do on that avenue of my life. i'll keep you posted. just don't pick a fight with me, ok? 9) i feel like poop about leaving because endings suck, because i know some people will be mad at me for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, or for leaving at all. i still have no idea what i'm going to be doing after july 31st, and that scares me to death and back again. i feel like poop about leaving because i know that where i work is about to go through a major transition, and i just can't be there any longer to help out. i'm just done. i can make it til july because i want to do that. because i want to finish what i started and do what i said i would do. i want to go on mission trips, because they are my favorite things in the whole wide world, and i don't want that taken away from me, or from the kids. blah.
i also had two fabulous ideas that i think will merit a marketing campaign. these are even better than give-a-shit, the vitamin supplement for people who could just care less.
1) jiffy lube should start offering a foley service for people who are going on long car trips. i could have made that trip in about 8 hours without bathroom stops.
2) i want to do a photo book (like a coffee table book) of bathroom graffiti from all over the country. it would be amazing. to whom would i pitch this idea? any takers?
that's about it. gigantic congrats to archie and mia. thanks for having me along. and gigantic thanks to pedro and inez, the official corporate sponsors of rachel's alabama adventure.
mil besos--r
18 April 2005
'bout to bounce...
ok kids, i know it's going to be hard on you, but i'll be away for a whole week. it's vacation time at the beach, my lovelies. and it's time for another lovely Graves woman to get married. mia and archie will be celebrating their wedding on saturday. yay! i'll be sure and take copious notes so i can fill you in on all the details.
interesting conversation i had with a friend today re: hell. we both agree that we are probably going to end up there(at least for a little while, since we both laugh at completely inappropriate things, like when people fall down, etc.), and while being together is somewhat of a consolation, my friend totally shot down the idea that there would at least be good music in hell. my friend pointed out that yanni and john tesh would probably be there. that was a total buzzkill because i was kind of counting on being in the corner with the cool rockers (like jimi hendrix, or janis joplin). dammit.
i went to my favorite music store today. i gots to have some new tunes for the ride to the beach. i got some good ones. you should totally go get some brighteyes. he's fabulous. not as good as ray lamontagne (who i think should be played at least once a day), but still pretty good. i can't get behind the buzz of referring to him as the new dylan, but whatever.
i need to go home and do laundry and pack. i am so excited about this trip, but i hate packing. i really just hate it. i feel like i do nothing but pack and unpack and do laundry so i can pack again. i swear the smartest investment my mother ever made for me, short of my college education, was to buy a little samsonite shoulder bag. i love that thing. it's like 10 years old, but it's amazing. i can pack for a whole week in that thing, if i'm careful. i intend to be careful when i'm packing tonight. the worst part about being single on vacation is not having anyone to carry your bag for you. and that's all i have to say about that.
i'll expect copious phone calls while i'm gone.
mil besos-r
interesting conversation i had with a friend today re: hell. we both agree that we are probably going to end up there(at least for a little while, since we both laugh at completely inappropriate things, like when people fall down, etc.), and while being together is somewhat of a consolation, my friend totally shot down the idea that there would at least be good music in hell. my friend pointed out that yanni and john tesh would probably be there. that was a total buzzkill because i was kind of counting on being in the corner with the cool rockers (like jimi hendrix, or janis joplin). dammit.
i went to my favorite music store today. i gots to have some new tunes for the ride to the beach. i got some good ones. you should totally go get some brighteyes. he's fabulous. not as good as ray lamontagne (who i think should be played at least once a day), but still pretty good. i can't get behind the buzz of referring to him as the new dylan, but whatever.
i need to go home and do laundry and pack. i am so excited about this trip, but i hate packing. i really just hate it. i feel like i do nothing but pack and unpack and do laundry so i can pack again. i swear the smartest investment my mother ever made for me, short of my college education, was to buy a little samsonite shoulder bag. i love that thing. it's like 10 years old, but it's amazing. i can pack for a whole week in that thing, if i'm careful. i intend to be careful when i'm packing tonight. the worst part about being single on vacation is not having anyone to carry your bag for you. and that's all i have to say about that.
i'll expect copious phone calls while i'm gone.
mil besos-r
14 April 2005
thursday, part 2
ok, people. it's 3:55, i'm drinking my afternoon coffee and having some animal cookies (the frosted kind, not the plain kind) and pondering the fact that aretha franklin is a genius. she just knows exactly how to say things. i have been chair dancing a lot to day. it's a combination of factors really-- the cute haircut, my favorite blue shirt, and good music. oh, and let's not forget mind-numbing boredom and a total lack of work ethic.
the only thing that makes me half-way like doing paperwork is the fact that i get to use my new chococat pen. chococat is hello kitty's best friend, in case you didn't know. i have crossed off almost half of my gigantic to-do list. lord save us, i've been productive in spite of myself. dammit. i still want to be outside. boo hoo, poor me. at least after four years, they finally gave me an office with a door. baby steps, mi amigos, baby steps.
here's a conundrum i'd love have some insight toward: how to you tell a friend that you fear they might have just slipped from being a "chilled out person" into being a "champion of mediocrity" and that their vision of ministry and philosophy is so out of wack that you can't really have a productive conversation with them?
i'll be here until 7. you might even get three posts in one day. you'll only read them if you're half as bored as i am, though, i bet. after 7, i get to go home and clean house!! and pack!! yay!!
mil besos-r
the only thing that makes me half-way like doing paperwork is the fact that i get to use my new chococat pen. chococat is hello kitty's best friend, in case you didn't know. i have crossed off almost half of my gigantic to-do list. lord save us, i've been productive in spite of myself. dammit. i still want to be outside. boo hoo, poor me. at least after four years, they finally gave me an office with a door. baby steps, mi amigos, baby steps.
here's a conundrum i'd love have some insight toward: how to you tell a friend that you fear they might have just slipped from being a "chilled out person" into being a "champion of mediocrity" and that their vision of ministry and philosophy is so out of wack that you can't really have a productive conversation with them?
i'll be here until 7. you might even get three posts in one day. you'll only read them if you're half as bored as i am, though, i bet. after 7, i get to go home and clean house!! and pack!! yay!!
mil besos-r
public school?
ok, i'd like to address two instances of irritation i've had since friday. while driving an suv full of junior high children to the beach this weekend, somewhere between austin and cuero, i discovered that they had no idea who winston churchill was. i was shocked and dismayed. these kids are 6th and 7th graders, who've had social studies since the 2nd grade, and they all go to public school, which means that i pay for their education. and they don't know who winston churchill was. seriously people, what the hell? someone thought he had been in a band, and only one kid knew he "wasn't from here". geeze, louise. then last night, i'm doing one on one conferences with my high school children and i not only have to explain who karl marx was to one child, but i also have to explain the meaning of the word "vernacular" to the same kid. he's a freshman in high school. no idea about karl marx, no idea about basic vocabulary. and yes, this kid is a public school kid. dammit.
someone, please tell me what this means?
i'll be back later with more info...my hair looks fabulous, in case you were wondering.
two new expressions i picked up from friends yesterday that need to be noted in this venue:
"crotchular" in relation to a pant malfunction suffered by one of my girls recently. come on, we've all dealt with this, people.
"galloping dandruff" in relation to a "social disease" one might pick up from a mail order spouse.
see if you can work THOSE little gems into your conversations today, along with the venerable mr. churchill (when is manchester going to write his third volume already?) and vernacular.
end of message, mil besos--r
someone, please tell me what this means?
i'll be back later with more info...my hair looks fabulous, in case you were wondering.
two new expressions i picked up from friends yesterday that need to be noted in this venue:
"crotchular" in relation to a pant malfunction suffered by one of my girls recently. come on, we've all dealt with this, people.
"galloping dandruff" in relation to a "social disease" one might pick up from a mail order spouse.
see if you can work THOSE little gems into your conversations today, along with the venerable mr. churchill (when is manchester going to write his third volume already?) and vernacular.
end of message, mil besos--r
13 April 2005
some kind of itis
when i was in high school, my parents would refer to occasional moods and attitudes i displayed as "senior-itis". i even diagnosed myself with this same affliction a couple of times in college. ok, more than a couple. pretty much every friday in spring that i had money for beer and a tube rental for the river i would beg off on the grounds that i was suffering from senioritis, whether i was a senior or not. since i was never really a freshman, i reasoned it was fair enough. i guess senioritis is the same thing as spring fever...
i have a severe case of it today. i don't want to do ANYTHING but blow off work, go home and get a book and a towel, and head to barton springs to soak up some sun and be outside. i have a million and 87 things i need to be doing, and i just can't make myself buckle down for beans. spring fever strikes again. even reading about random inane information, which usually spurs me to do actual relevant work isn't doing the trick today. instead of steering me toward work, it's just irritating me, because i can't do what i want to do. sometimes being a responsible grown up is not fun. blah.
i'll live. i mean, i'm griping about delaying gratification, because this time next week, i'll be neck deep in the gulf of mexico, with a cooler full of adult beverages waiting for me on the shoreline. i love family weddings. more than that, i love destination family weddings. maybe one day i'll even have my own destination family wedding. that's a whole other blog for a whole other day.
i'm getting a hair cut tomorrow. like you needed to know that, right?
mil besos-r
i have a severe case of it today. i don't want to do ANYTHING but blow off work, go home and get a book and a towel, and head to barton springs to soak up some sun and be outside. i have a million and 87 things i need to be doing, and i just can't make myself buckle down for beans. spring fever strikes again. even reading about random inane information, which usually spurs me to do actual relevant work isn't doing the trick today. instead of steering me toward work, it's just irritating me, because i can't do what i want to do. sometimes being a responsible grown up is not fun. blah.
i'll live. i mean, i'm griping about delaying gratification, because this time next week, i'll be neck deep in the gulf of mexico, with a cooler full of adult beverages waiting for me on the shoreline. i love family weddings. more than that, i love destination family weddings. maybe one day i'll even have my own destination family wedding. that's a whole other blog for a whole other day.
i'm getting a hair cut tomorrow. like you needed to know that, right?
mil besos-r
12 April 2005
random bit of information
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerealia
some of you know my penchant for the trivial. this is right up my alley. today, i'd like to remind each and every one of us of our roman/greek influences, everything from paved roads, indoor plumbing (praise G-d!), govermental archetypes (for which i am sometimes thankful), to the way western theology has evolved over two thousand years of Christian influence.
ceres was the roman godess of grain. in greece, she was known as demeter. her husband was her brother, jupiter (zeus in greece). their daughter proserpina (persephone in greece) was wooed away to become queen of the underworld, and cerealia commemorates Ceres' search for her daughter. apparently the festival was celebrated in several ways. one involved tying lit firebrands to the tails of foxes, and turning them loose in the circus maximus. the other involved a bunch of women dressed in white running around with lit torches. go figure. i don't know what the roman obsession with running and fire, or running with fire was, but it's a bleeding miracle that any of them lived to tell about it.
i guess if i were going to make a recommendation for how to celebrate cerealia today (which i wouldn't because everyone knows that you get sent straight to hell for that sort of thing, and by that sort of thing i mean celebrating a PAGAN holiday), i'd have to go with lighting up a giant 120 mentol (which i wouldn't because i quit, and because it's bad for you, and because it's not fancy at all) and eating a bowl full of chex mix (which you shouldn't eat because the dietary fiber content is negligible, the sodium content is astronmical, and it gives you horrible stinky garlic breath). and maybe drink something stiffer than a diet coke (but i can't, since the diocese passed all the dumb rules about drinking on the job).
it's going to be a long week...
mil besos-r
some of you know my penchant for the trivial. this is right up my alley. today, i'd like to remind each and every one of us of our roman/greek influences, everything from paved roads, indoor plumbing (praise G-d!), govermental archetypes (for which i am sometimes thankful), to the way western theology has evolved over two thousand years of Christian influence.
ceres was the roman godess of grain. in greece, she was known as demeter. her husband was her brother, jupiter (zeus in greece). their daughter proserpina (persephone in greece) was wooed away to become queen of the underworld, and cerealia commemorates Ceres' search for her daughter. apparently the festival was celebrated in several ways. one involved tying lit firebrands to the tails of foxes, and turning them loose in the circus maximus. the other involved a bunch of women dressed in white running around with lit torches. go figure. i don't know what the roman obsession with running and fire, or running with fire was, but it's a bleeding miracle that any of them lived to tell about it.
i guess if i were going to make a recommendation for how to celebrate cerealia today (which i wouldn't because everyone knows that you get sent straight to hell for that sort of thing, and by that sort of thing i mean celebrating a PAGAN holiday), i'd have to go with lighting up a giant 120 mentol (which i wouldn't because i quit, and because it's bad for you, and because it's not fancy at all) and eating a bowl full of chex mix (which you shouldn't eat because the dietary fiber content is negligible, the sodium content is astronmical, and it gives you horrible stinky garlic breath). and maybe drink something stiffer than a diet coke (but i can't, since the diocese passed all the dumb rules about drinking on the job).
it's going to be a long week...
mil besos-r
08 April 2005
something totally different
i figure life on longvallyelane.blogspot.com can sometimes read like one long random ramble about my life. that's because that's exactly what it is. but, i also imagine that sometimes you might want more from me, more hard hitting information, and fewer pms induced rants. because i care about what you want, or at least because i'm supposed to care what you want, i figured i'd expand on something i had to do for work earlier this week i'd also love, love, love if this could generate some conversation on the comments section., or at least tell me what you think. or if you just like the news and rants, minus any philosophical waxing. let me know and we'll see what we'll see. smooches--rmg
Prayer of Mother Teresa
Dear Jesus, help us to spread your fragrance everywhere we go.
Flood our souls with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly
That our lives may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through us and be so in us
That every soul we come in contact with
May feel your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus.
Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine,
So to shine as to be light to others.
The light, O Jesus, will be all from you.
None of it will be ours.
It will be you shining on others through us.
Let us thus praise you in the way you love best
By shining on those around us.
Let us preach you without preaching,
Not by words, but by our example;
By the catching force-
The sympathetic influence of what we do,
The evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.
Amen
The Kalighat Home for the Destitute and Dying stands on the site of a temple dedicated to Kali, the Hindu goddess of death and destruction, in the midst of a city dedicated to that same goddess. Mother Teresa arrived in India in 1931, and began to help establish an incredible Roman Catholic presence in a country that had very little religiously in common with her church’s ideology. Nevertheless, Teresa began to do her work in the streets, in schools, in the sewage filled neighborhoods of Calcutta. Mother Teresa came to that city as a teacher, and in 1952 reclaimed the Kalighat Temple, and turned it into a haven for the poorest of the poor. She renamed it Nirmal Hriday (Pure Heart), and it was there that Mother Teresa began her life’s work and ministry. Helping poor Bengalis know that there was hope and care in a society that called them “untouchable”, Mother Teresa would walk up and down the aisles whispering to them in their native tongue that “God is here” and touch their foreheads with her small hands.
Now, i have some issues with the Catholic Church, and with overt proselyzation. But that discussion is for another day. The thing about this prayer and about this story that just leaves me in awe and amazement is that opening line-- Jesus, help us spread your fragrance all around. Think about that for a minute. Imagine being surrounded by death at every turn, surrounded by raw sewage when you step outside to get a breath of "fresh" air, and to still have the desire to pray for a new smell. What must Jesus smell like in that instance? I know that seems like a random question to ask, but really, what would you want to smell in the place of what was there. Smell is a powerful sense. It has the power to generate memories that are powerful in their intensity. Case in point--the smell of camay soap always reminds me of my great-grandmother's bathroom, and these funny little picture things she had hanging on the wall. The smell of coconut reminds me of the beach. The smell of gardenia reminds me of my mother. The smell of patcholi reminds me of the drag.
For me, were I to stand where Mother Teresa stood, Jesus would smell like several things. Jesus would like that moment between being asleep and awake, when you can almost smell breakfast, almost smell the fresh shampoo smell from last night's shower, almost smell the laundry sheet you dry your bed linens with. it's a smell that's almost nothing, but very definitely something. Almost overwhelming in its simplicity, but above all, comforting and so incredibly ordinary. Or maybe Jesus would smell like a wide open field after a good central texas rain, full of wild flowers--smelling sharply green, slightly sweet, and so clean you could eat off of it. Or maybe I'm reaching too far with this analogy, and have finally slipped into the sweet bliss of crazy. Who knows.
What I do know is that there are days when the sights, sounds, smells, and frenetic pace of life overwhelms each of us. I do know that there are days when we get so caught up in our own ambitions, intrigues, relationships, and disappointments that we forget the very basic necessity of breathing in and out. My yoga teacher (we hosted a class during let at the church) reminded us that breathing in and out is something we should concentrate on doing, that it's part of us loving ourselves. Prana is the Sanskrit word for "life-force", which is connected to breath, but is so much more than just breath. Our teacher told us to feel our prana when we breathed, to take time out every day to feel it, if only for a moment, that our breath and our bodies were alive. It's amazing how squaring back your shoulders and breathing all the way to your toes five or six times can change your entire attitude. And in opening up your lungs, in being mindful of the breaths we take, maybe, just maybe, we can smell Jesus. And maybe after we've done that, we can take that scent with us, and share it wherever we go.
mil besos--r
Prayer of Mother Teresa
Dear Jesus, help us to spread your fragrance everywhere we go.
Flood our souls with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly
That our lives may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through us and be so in us
That every soul we come in contact with
May feel your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus.
Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine,
So to shine as to be light to others.
The light, O Jesus, will be all from you.
None of it will be ours.
It will be you shining on others through us.
Let us thus praise you in the way you love best
By shining on those around us.
Let us preach you without preaching,
Not by words, but by our example;
By the catching force-
The sympathetic influence of what we do,
The evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.
Amen
The Kalighat Home for the Destitute and Dying stands on the site of a temple dedicated to Kali, the Hindu goddess of death and destruction, in the midst of a city dedicated to that same goddess. Mother Teresa arrived in India in 1931, and began to help establish an incredible Roman Catholic presence in a country that had very little religiously in common with her church’s ideology. Nevertheless, Teresa began to do her work in the streets, in schools, in the sewage filled neighborhoods of Calcutta. Mother Teresa came to that city as a teacher, and in 1952 reclaimed the Kalighat Temple, and turned it into a haven for the poorest of the poor. She renamed it Nirmal Hriday (Pure Heart), and it was there that Mother Teresa began her life’s work and ministry. Helping poor Bengalis know that there was hope and care in a society that called them “untouchable”, Mother Teresa would walk up and down the aisles whispering to them in their native tongue that “God is here” and touch their foreheads with her small hands.
Now, i have some issues with the Catholic Church, and with overt proselyzation. But that discussion is for another day. The thing about this prayer and about this story that just leaves me in awe and amazement is that opening line-- Jesus, help us spread your fragrance all around. Think about that for a minute. Imagine being surrounded by death at every turn, surrounded by raw sewage when you step outside to get a breath of "fresh" air, and to still have the desire to pray for a new smell. What must Jesus smell like in that instance? I know that seems like a random question to ask, but really, what would you want to smell in the place of what was there. Smell is a powerful sense. It has the power to generate memories that are powerful in their intensity. Case in point--the smell of camay soap always reminds me of my great-grandmother's bathroom, and these funny little picture things she had hanging on the wall. The smell of coconut reminds me of the beach. The smell of gardenia reminds me of my mother. The smell of patcholi reminds me of the drag.
For me, were I to stand where Mother Teresa stood, Jesus would smell like several things. Jesus would like that moment between being asleep and awake, when you can almost smell breakfast, almost smell the fresh shampoo smell from last night's shower, almost smell the laundry sheet you dry your bed linens with. it's a smell that's almost nothing, but very definitely something. Almost overwhelming in its simplicity, but above all, comforting and so incredibly ordinary. Or maybe Jesus would smell like a wide open field after a good central texas rain, full of wild flowers--smelling sharply green, slightly sweet, and so clean you could eat off of it. Or maybe I'm reaching too far with this analogy, and have finally slipped into the sweet bliss of crazy. Who knows.
What I do know is that there are days when the sights, sounds, smells, and frenetic pace of life overwhelms each of us. I do know that there are days when we get so caught up in our own ambitions, intrigues, relationships, and disappointments that we forget the very basic necessity of breathing in and out. My yoga teacher (we hosted a class during let at the church) reminded us that breathing in and out is something we should concentrate on doing, that it's part of us loving ourselves. Prana is the Sanskrit word for "life-force", which is connected to breath, but is so much more than just breath. Our teacher told us to feel our prana when we breathed, to take time out every day to feel it, if only for a moment, that our breath and our bodies were alive. It's amazing how squaring back your shoulders and breathing all the way to your toes five or six times can change your entire attitude. And in opening up your lungs, in being mindful of the breaths we take, maybe, just maybe, we can smell Jesus. And maybe after we've done that, we can take that scent with us, and share it wherever we go.
mil besos--r
06 April 2005
i know, i know, i know
geeze, it's been a while. the office recently moved, and we've been without internet for a whole week. i felt like someone cut off my arms. it was awful. but we're back on line, and i feel much better.
let me tell you about the excitement in my life.
hot news item #1: sometime in either december or january, i will become a real-live official aunt. that's right, seth and monica are expecting. i am so freaking psyched about the impending arrival. it's going to be a long ass wait. i guess that will give me plenty of time to jockey for a god-parent spot, buy the kid lots of books and stock up on juicy fruit gum, which i think every aunt should have in her purse. i will also practice my skills on the baby nels, and hope i don't mess him up, either. yay.
hot news item #2: for those of you waiting with baited (live or dead?) breath on my D-Day decision, here's the jist... i'll totally be in austin for the forseeable future. what i'll be doing, that's the next big hurdle to cross. i can't say more than that at the moment, just know there are a ton of exciting opportunities presenting themselves. yay!!
hot news item #3: i found my first gray hair last week. there's no way it was anything but a gray hair. i know this because i pulled out a blonde hair and a brown hair to compare. this was all white and of a totally different texture than the rest of my hair. i pulled it out and threw it away. i thought about keeping it, and then changed my mind. it's not like keeping your first tooth...
hot news item #4: i finally got asked to a prom. i know, that's hard to believe, but when you date a younger man in high school, you are the one who does the asking. yeah, one of my freshmen boys asked me to got to his prom (he goes to a small high school, so their prom is open to everyone), but i'm pretty sure he was mostly joking. i got a big kick out of it, though. i did make sure and tell him that it was inappropriate, however. he said that he was renting a camoflage-patterned tuxedo, and if my professional ethics hadn't been enough to elicit a "no" from my very shocked and amazed lips, the thought of that tux would have done the trick. a camo tux-- what will they think up next?
hot news item #5-- i'm going to the beach with my junior high kids this weekend. yay beach, boo junior high hormones. i figured i will just threaten them with bodily harm and then ply them with sugary snacks to keep them in check. i'll let you know how that works out.
mil besos--r
let me tell you about the excitement in my life.
hot news item #1: sometime in either december or january, i will become a real-live official aunt. that's right, seth and monica are expecting. i am so freaking psyched about the impending arrival. it's going to be a long ass wait. i guess that will give me plenty of time to jockey for a god-parent spot, buy the kid lots of books and stock up on juicy fruit gum, which i think every aunt should have in her purse. i will also practice my skills on the baby nels, and hope i don't mess him up, either. yay.
hot news item #2: for those of you waiting with baited (live or dead?) breath on my D-Day decision, here's the jist... i'll totally be in austin for the forseeable future. what i'll be doing, that's the next big hurdle to cross. i can't say more than that at the moment, just know there are a ton of exciting opportunities presenting themselves. yay!!
hot news item #3: i found my first gray hair last week. there's no way it was anything but a gray hair. i know this because i pulled out a blonde hair and a brown hair to compare. this was all white and of a totally different texture than the rest of my hair. i pulled it out and threw it away. i thought about keeping it, and then changed my mind. it's not like keeping your first tooth...
hot news item #4: i finally got asked to a prom. i know, that's hard to believe, but when you date a younger man in high school, you are the one who does the asking. yeah, one of my freshmen boys asked me to got to his prom (he goes to a small high school, so their prom is open to everyone), but i'm pretty sure he was mostly joking. i got a big kick out of it, though. i did make sure and tell him that it was inappropriate, however. he said that he was renting a camoflage-patterned tuxedo, and if my professional ethics hadn't been enough to elicit a "no" from my very shocked and amazed lips, the thought of that tux would have done the trick. a camo tux-- what will they think up next?
hot news item #5-- i'm going to the beach with my junior high kids this weekend. yay beach, boo junior high hormones. i figured i will just threaten them with bodily harm and then ply them with sugary snacks to keep them in check. i'll let you know how that works out.
mil besos--r
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