i am going to the ballet tomorrow, and i am so freaking excited i can't sit still. that could also be the diet coke i just pounded, but we'll stick with excitement for now. my friend kk called me yesterday with the exciting news that her non-profit had gotten some tix to see swan lake, and asked if i wanted to go. duh. i love the ballet. i love the fancy. i love bass concert hall. i love any excuse to dress up and go to a late supper and feel like a grown-up. and i do love swan lake. in fact, i've been driving by the sign everyday for two weeks wishing i were going, but a) i can't rationalize tickets to the ballet at this point in my fiscal year, and b) i don't want to go see a sad ballet by myself.
confession number 851: i am a control freak. there i said it. i have a deep and abiding need to be in control, or at least feel like i am in control. my frequently sited, but unnamed source and i had a long and drawn out conversation re: same last night. it was lots of things. see further comments...
the biggest part of my angst (i hate, hate, hate that word, btw) with job, life, etc. right now is that i don't feel like i'm the one calling the shots right now, and it makes me nuts. i know, i know, i work with junior high kids everyday, you'd think that control would not be a problem for me. like that i could just plan and execute at work, and once i got home i'd be a normal person. not the case. not the case at all. just ask my mother, who's had to deal with my control freak issues since about 5 seconds after i was born. pile my penchant for being totally self-sufficient on top of that, and you have a world class neurosis on your hands, friends and neighbors. that being said, i'd also like to say that i didn't yell at any one in traffic today. i didn't even use my horn. and i let someone buy me coffee today.
so there. now that you have this information, you must use it only for good. and you're not allowed to call me out, unless you can pair said calling out with something nice, as well. for example: "Rachel, you are spazzing out about this because you don't have total control. Git over yourself. You are a nice girl, but not all that important to the grand scheme of this particular situation. Now, let me buy you a nice chai latte--would you like soy milk or 2%?" see how easy that was?
tune in tomorrow when i try and formulate a rant to end all rants. the suspense is maddening...
mil besos-r
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