spazzy magee

i've been thinking alot about what i do lately, and why i do what i do, and why i think it's important. i've also been thinking about why it's time to move on...here are some of those thoughs...

what i do: i listen to kids. i play with kids. i tie dye, i make them eat gross food, i play endless games of sardines. i write bible studies that i know full well i will only get to teach half of, because God will steer the direction of the conversation where God wills. i make phone calls, i write emails, i send post cards and newsletters. i sit on instant messenger so that kids can tell me about what they did that day. i try to give sound advice on how to not get into trouble with parents, siblings, and teachers. and i try to give sound advice on how to not get in trouble with children to parents.

why i do what i do: i do it all because i firmly believe that if the family dynamic is healthy, the church will be healthy. i do it all because i feel that children have magnificent things to say and do and be, and they are at a time in their lives when it's all but impossible for their parents to be there at all times. i do it because it's precious to me. because i firmly believe that they have a place a the table, and all my gifts in this life have led me to be here to help them set that place.
i don't kid myself that i teach them grand and glorious things about theology or ultimate reality. i don't kid myself that i'm teaching them how to be more moral people. i'm there so that in 15 years, they will be there, too. i'm there so that they know they matter and that they are loved, which they won't get until 15 years from now, anyway.

why it's time to do something else: little things that used to make me laugh drive me nuts now. there is a point at which you know too much to stay, but enough to leave-- i am at that point. i love my kids enough to let someone else love them. i value my relationship with God enough to move on and see what's around the next bend in the road, even though the easy thing to do would be to stay in my comfort zone. it would also potentially be the worst thing.

so, there's that...in other news, esteban's flight from boston will be here in about and hour and a half. let the fun begin.


i had some trouble getting to sleep last night. i even stayed up to watch malcolm in the middle, which usually does the trick, but to no avail. i read some of my book filled with unfamiliar russian last names and oddly translated words, but to no avail. i finally got to sleep around 2. silly me, i know. i guess the thought of grown-up fun for three days is just too much to handle. and i'm going to see the fam this weekend, on top of that, so a wee bit of extra excitement was prolly in order.

this is the second weird hair (not bad, i do not have bad hair days) i've had in a row. i think i got too much product in it this morning. under other circumstances, i would have washed it and started over, but i was running a little on the late side, since i hit the snooze button twice. if it goes for three days, i may have to make an apt. with the hair lady to get things figured out. i'll keep you posted. be ready for lots of stories on tuesday, maybe sooner if i can tear myself away from the fun zone to post.

mil besos-r