unbelieveable

before you read this-- let me say that a) i pray for this president and this country daily, and b) i think that you can love this country and ask questions about policy, and disagree with the way the ship is sailing, and all the while still consider yourself a "patriot". i guess maybe this is a way for me to spend my own "political capital". --rachel




here's the Center for American Progress' look at the inauguration by the number$ (thanks to Mediacitizen's Tim Karr who also reveals a most interesting donor toward the jaw-dropping inauguration price tag which may be closer to $70 mill all told). For emphasis, it comes just as the U.S. announces that it's scaling back tsunami relief efforts (even as the death toll skyrockets to over 226,000):
$40 million: Cost of Bush inaugural ball festivities, not counting security costs.
$2,000: Amount FDR spent on the inaugural in 1945…about $20,000 in today's dollars.
$20,000: Cost of yellow roses purchased for inaugural festivities by D.C.'s Ritz Carlton.
200: Number of Humvees outfitted with top-of-the-line armor for troops in Iraq that could have been purchased with the amount of money blown on the inauguration.
$10,000: Price of an inaugural package at the Fairmont Hotel, which includes a Beluga caviar and Dom Perignon reception, a chauffeured Rolls Royce and two actors posing as "faux" Secret Service agents, complete with black sunglasses and cufflink walkie-talkies.
400: Pounds of lobster provided for "inaugural feeding frenzy" at the exclusive Mandarin Oriental hotel.
3,000: Number of "Laura Bush Cowboy cookies" provided for "inaugural feeding frenzy" at the Mandarin hotel.
$1: Amount per guest President Carter spent on snacks for guests at his inaugural parties. To stick to a tight budget, he served pretzels, peanuts, crackers and cheese and had cash bars.
22 million: Number of children in regions devastated by the tsunami who could have received vaccinations and preventive health care with the amount of money spent on the inauguration.
1,160,000: Number of girls who could be sent to school for a year in Afghanistan with the amount of money lavished on the inauguration.
$15,000: The down payment to rent a fur coat paid by one gala attendee who didn't want the hassle of schlepping her own through the airport.
$200,500: Price of a room package at D.C.'s Mandarin Oriental, including presidential suite, chauffeured Mercedes limo and outfits from Neiman Marcus.
2,500: Number of U.S. troops used to stand guard as President Bush takes his oath of office
26,000: Number of Kevlar vests for U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan that could be purchased for $40 million.
$290: Bonus that could go to each American solider serving in Iraq, if inauguration funds were used for that purpose.
$6.3 million: Amount contributed by the finance and investment industry, which works out to be 25 percent of all the money collected.
$17 million: Amount of money the White House is forcing the cash-strapped city of Washington, D.C., to pony up for inauguration security.
9: Percentage of D.C. residents who voted for Bush in 2004.
66: Percentage of Americans who think this over-the-top inauguration should have been scaled back.

Oy and Vey

well kids, it's been an interesting two weeks, i must say. if variety really is the spice of life, i think mine has just turned into an all you can eat mexican buffet of sorts. seriously, i kid you not.

today is meeting day. from 1:30pm until about 8:30pm, i will be in meeting land. if you want to call and leave me funny messages on my cell phone, i will be so happy when i get them. and i will even return your phone call! yay.

confirmation retreat was a ton of fun, really. i didn't cry, none of the kids cried, and i'm pretty sure that we all learned something. thank God for favors large and small.

i feel like i have some big story i'm supposed to tell you, but i can't think on one right now, so i guess i'll log off and get back to work.

life is good.

mil besos--rachel

geeze, oh man

well kids, it's 2005. can you believe that? 2005, man. that's bizarre.
this is the year i turn 27... dammit. i guess it's better than being dead, though.

i hope you all had a fabulous new year's celebration. i was quite happy to see a) texas a&m get their asses handed back to them( i was praying for a shut out, but God is merciful even to fran. thankfully, bear bryant is not) b) the University of Texas had a stunning last minute win in the only non-corporately sponsored bowl, for which i was very grateful, and c) people from high school, some of whom i had not seen in literally YEARS. whooo hooo and cheers.

i also learned something between the late night hours of dec. 31st and the early morning hours of january 1st. and it's this-- if you make the commitment to drink scotch at the beginning of the evening, stick with it. resist the urge to switch to champagne (ok, ok, it was sparkling white). otherwise, you will end up calling one of your nearest and dearest and yelling random bits of advice (most of which were probably not needed) and not making much sense. you also may spend a lot of time leaving voice mails for people who will laugh at them the next day. that's kind of nice, but in a sort of annoying way. so, make your committment, and stick to it. also, hydration is a good thing. even if it means you spend 25% of the night peeing, running to pee, or running back from peeing. the lack of headache the next day is well worth it. however, if you choose to be a moron and smoke a whole entire pack of mentholated cigarettes, you deserve to feel like you spent the whole night licking a cat's ass. btw, for those of you keeping score at home, this lady is four days nicotine free. whoo hooo. if you want to know who to thank, thank Baby Nels' parents for getting knocked up in time to save me from myself.

i'm still recovering from christmas crud, just in time to run out to the cedar forrest of new braunfels to teach my little angels all about the sacrament of confirmation. oh joy. no, i really do like the teaching end of things. it's a lot of fun when they get it. and when they don't get it, well, it's kind of like having splinters shoved under your fingernails and then getting a lemon juice manicure. i'm hopeful that they get it. in any case, i'll keep you posted.

life is good.

mil besos--r

five golden rings

happy fifth day of christmas.

i'm at work today, listening to nora jones on my computer, making phone calls to parents to ask for sponsors for next semester, and fighting off one monster allergy attack.

for those who may want to follow my every move during this upcoming holiday weekend, i'll be in greater metropolitan mcculloch county, at the weatherman-burson estate. i think i get cell phone service in brady, so call me if you want to say nice things, or tell me how pretty i am.

life is good- all of it is a gigantic question mark at this point in the ball game, and that's a little frusterating. it's hard to know that you're about to start shutting doors, and aren't sure which ones you need to begin opening. the good part is that up to this point in my life, i've always landed on my feet, so i see no reason why that trend should fail now. rest assured i'll keep you updated.

this year has been incredible. i've laughed and cried and learned so much. even though i never imagined my life would look like it does, i wouldn't trade a minute of it. i think about all the things i've seen this year, and i'm absolutely astounded at the variety of my experiences. all i have to do is flip through my blog and email folders to remember that there has been a lot of substance in the last 12 months-- it hasn't just been work and recovery from work.

life is a beautiful thing. thanks for being part of mine for another year.

merry christmas. jesus loves you. happy new year.

mil besos--rachel

you pulled the string in my back, and out came chat

i know, horrible slacker. no update for a whole week. and i haven't even been out of town. i've just been going nuts trying to put a volunteer team together, get our christmas tree families taken care of, and trying to figure out how and when i'm going to do my christmas shopping. i've given up on the idea of decorating my apartment this year-- i'm not going to be there/haven't been there to enjoy it, nor to merit getting into the hall closet and dusting stuff off. not trying to be a grinch about it, but since i'm not hosting a party this year, it seems kind of like a waste of good energy.

in other news, i will be knee deep in snow by sunday. yay. i'm excited about the ski trip-- good friends, fun kids, and colorado. i've only been to the denver airport, so this is my first legit trip to colorado. i'm fairly excited. i just can't think about the fact that i'm leaving on friday, and won't be back until the 22nd. what was i thinking when i said i would sponsor this trip? probably i was thinking that between the 17th and the 22nd, i pretty much didn't want to be in the office.

during christmas, a church office is about the last place you'd ever want to be. the phone rings off the hook, and the people on the other end are determined to ask the stupidest questions imaginable-- like last year when some one called and wanted to know what time our 5pm christmas eve service started. yeah, they actually stated the time in their question. people start dropping like flies, too. so, you get totally inundated with funeral calls-- what time is so-and so's funeral? what's your flower policy? what's your parking situation? and it's not like i have to answer any of those calls, but listening to other people answer them, and watching the clergy scramble to deal with the fallout is enough to make you doubt that the christmas spirit is alive and well in the hearts of all mankind. blah.

i have to say that on sunday, i think i may have broken some kind of a quantity record for items/poundage cooked. no, seriously.

let me tell you about it, because i still don't entirely believe all of it myself.

so for ski trip, i drew spaghetti night as my night to cook. i was instructed to cook the pasta before hand, since it takes like 8 hours to make a pot of water boil that high in the mountains, and i'd have to boil enough water to cook enough pasta to feed 48 hungry skiers. so, i cooked 14 lbs of spaghetti on sunday, before my youth group kids showed. that's 7 gallon glad-lock bags full of pasta, in case you needed a different measure to picture. needless to say, there have been no pasta cravings this week. in fact, i think i may have just thrown up a little bit thinking about it...

after i got the pots cleaned out and washed (thank God the church has a commercial kitchen), it was time to get ready for our youth group service project. every second sunday is a service project, and we have chosen Mobile Loaves and Fishes as our outlet. they are a mobile soup kitchen from St. John Neumann Catholic Church. very cool people. and we send them boiled eggs every month. a lot of boiled eggs. like on sunday, we boiled 9.5 dozen. the whole kitchen, and later my car, smelled like a giant fart. i hate the way boiled egg smell lingers in my car after i drop them off at the loading dock. it's gross. that's why i keep a dryer sheet under each seat. eww.

in addition to the eggs, we also make cookies. why? because everyone needs a cookie, that's why. and because it takes some effort to make a cookie, even if they are slice and bake. and people who are down on their luck need to know that someone is making some effort on their behalf. and cookies are a creature comfort that we can provide. cookies can be a great equalizer, if you think about it.

so, since it's christmas, i let the junior high kids decorate a whole gigantic wad of sugar cookies. we left a few undecorated, too. just to be nice, i guess. i saved the chocolate chips cookies for my high school kids. they were masters of efficiency. and they were so funny! we made and made and made cookies, eight pans at a time, on both sides of the oven. at the end of the evening, when we counted up, including the junior high cookies, we had made 55 dozen. that's a lot. i was very proud of them.

life is good.

mil besos-rachel

happy birthday, general theory of relativity

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_theory_of_relativity

i'll give five bucks to the first person who can explain this theory using every day examples that don't include donuts, records, coffee, or caramel.

mil besos--rmg

phoenix-- an existential musing

you know, the phoenix is an interesting symbol. for those of you who aren't familiar with the legend of the phoenix, here's a great link to catch up--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix . i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm totally on board with that right now. i'm wondering which parts of my life are the ashes from which something new will be born, which parts of my life are the nest, and which parts of my life are the left-overs that will be embalmed and bourne away.

i have a lot of questions. and in my pursuit of answers, i am asking a lot of my nearest and dearest, what on the surface seems like random and goofy, questions. most of them center around me. i know, i know, i need to get over myself. and in order to do that, i (get ready, holy crap, this is the kind of thing i only say once in a blue moon) need your help.

so, in no particular order, here are some questions you can answer, if you choose. you may hit comment on the bottom of this post, or you may respond to me by email: rachiepoo78@yahoo.com.

1) if you could choose one job for me to do for the next four years of my life, what would it be?
***seminary is not an option to be used at this time. period***

2) if you could choose one job that i should never do, not in a million years, what would it be?

3) if you could choose one city for me to live in for the next four years of my life, where would it be?

ok, this is scientific, so be honest. i'll post results and other things soon.

mil besos-rachel

back east

i've been in virginia since monday night. it's been a blast. mostly, i've been at the seminary in alexandria looking at curriculum for my rotten ungrateful children. i found the things i want to use, and am actually excited about implementation and planning. yay. and i've been hanging out with friends and catching up on their stories. and riding the metro into dc. i miss that town.

what a great place, seriously. it's messy and busy and full of noise and i love it. i ate chinese food at my favorite hole in the wall in china town-- the new big wong. seriously, that's the name of the place. it's on H street nw, you should go there sometime. get the general tso's chicken with a bowl of hot and sour soup-- you will not be dissappointed.

and last night, oh night of nights... i met my old roommate melissa, and after tea and sympathy at her precious house in our old neigborhood, we metroed to shaw for one of the great meals in the history of western civilization.

at 14th and U street NW, in the dc, there is a lovely little spot, framed in yellow and red. it's ben's chili bowl. you can google the name, and go see their website. it will make you very hungry and jealous that i used to get to eat there all the time. when i worked about three blocks from ben's, way back in the day, i would go in and get a chocolate milk shake with extra chocolate about twice a week. that's one reason my ass stayed the exact same size from san marcos to dc and back. those damn shakes... nectar of the gods, that's what.

those milk shakes may very well have helped me keep my sanity. lord knows there was precious little of it left by the time i moved back to the terra firma of texas. milk shakes, cheese fries, and half-smokes drenched in chili. yay.

there was a guy named rob who worked behind the counter, and every time my old office mate and dear friend hope would hit the door, rob would start making our order-- a cherry shake for hope, a chocolate one for me, one half-smoke split down the middle, and an order of cheese fries with two forks. and by the time the two of us had finished filling the incredible juke box in the corner full of funk in the way only two really sheltered white girls can, our order would be sitting on the counter, between our two favorite stools. and even on days that were bad days, the lights and grease and friendly conversation in that place would wrap us up in familiar smells and laughter, and enable us to brave the harsh environs of the office of the farting boss. ahh, nostalgia.

in other news, you MUST see (read that--run, don't walk to your nearest video store or netflix cue) True Stories. this is the funniest movie i have seen in ages. it's so off-beat, so bizarre, and so circa 1986 mocumentary that i may have to buy my own copy. for those of you who grew up in brady, have ever been to brady, or have ever heard me tell a story about brady--you must see this movie, because you will know just about everyone in it. as an aside about small town humour, tuna christmas is playing at the kennedy center right now. what a hoot!!

ok, gots to run and eat and go catch a plane. pray delta doesn't loose my bags between here and atlanta and on to austin. catch you on the flippy.

mil besos--r

porcelain chariot

let me tell you, election night is probably one of my favorite nights, ever. it's almost better than christmas, except for the Jesus part, and it only comes around every four years. but last night, fate dealt me a cruel blow, and i'm not just talking about the fact that half the people i voted for tanked.

no, last night, in between blearily gazing at the trusted face of peter jennings, i was calling the dinosaurs of old. i got the old fashioned third-grade variety 24-hour bug. you know the one-- throw-up everything you've eaten in the last 7 years, lay on the cold bathroom floor, praying for death, wishing like hell you still lived at home so your mom could bring you a cold wash cloth and sympathy, being tempted to eat something so you wouldn't have to yark up your toenails. oh yeah, that's the one. i knew you'd know what i was talking about.

i was glad, well sort of, to see the light of day this morning. i agree with John Kerry about many things. and while i was sad to see him go down in the polls, i was glad for the dialogue that has been started in this great nation. i agree with him that the greatest prayer we can pray today is "God bless America". and i hope that the next four years can be about people meeting each other, people talking and sharing with each other. i hope the next four years aren't met with more division, more rancor, more intolerance. i hope the next four years can be spent talking about what's going right, making more things go right, and i hope we can talk about love and understanding, with out having to legislate what that all means.

end of rant. i need to drink some more gatorade, and get my head together for my high school kids tonight.

smooches to all-rmg

in thanksgiving for the souls of all faithful departed...

well, it's that frequently forgotten holiday that gets sandwiched in between the sugar orgy that is halloween and the turkey--gobbling binge that is thanksgiving. it's all saints' day today-- incidentally one of my very favorite of all church holidays. it's a good time to remember those who have gone before us, and to be thankful for their influence in our lives. it's a nice day, without being all sad and droopy. except that the weather today, combined with my allergies is making me a little droopy, nonetheless.

you know, there are a thousand ways a person can die. and i don't mean just die like cease to respire. sometimes people die out of our lives through no fault of their own-- people grow away from each other; not every relationship has the shel-life of a twinkee. sometimes people move away, and distance proves too wide to cross. sometimes people turn into other things, and we realize that things are not what they were, things will not be better, and it's just time to cash out and cut our losses. and yes, sadly, sometimes people just really do die. but being sad about any of those things for very long is just as bad as not being sad at all.

case in point-- there was a girl (that's me), who once upon a time loved a young man very much (that's him). and the girl and the boy were very good friends, and sometimes were other things. and there was much phone calling, and letter writing, and email sending, and present giving, and votes were cast, and stars were read, and prayers were prayed, and futures were discussed. and one day, the girl and the young man woke up to find that both of their worlds and views had very much changed, and that nothing they thought they had in common was really in common any more, except for the fact that they kind of knew some of the same people, and were in a lot of photographs together. but the things that had kept them up for hours talking and sharing now just kept them up for hours arguing and trying to score points. and so they became ghosts to each other.

would you believe that last week i walked right by that ghost? and i was greatful. greatful for what i've learned, for what i've seen. i was greatful that i've learned to stand on my own two feet, and that i'm not scared any more that someone might leave if i say or do or believe the wrong thing. it's good to not be scared anymore. sometimes the scariest things about ghosts are what they show us of ourselves-- and it was good to see that the other side of me is doing ok-- not that it's all in the bag, but hey, i didn't throw up like i thought i might, and i enjoyed my evening out with a dear friend. and you know what? i hope the ghostie enjoyed his night out, too.

at any rate, thanks for listening.

mil besos--r

finally!!

i woke up this morning and promptly discovered i have finally attained enlightenment.

i have a third eye directly between my eyes, and slightly elevated on my forehead.

i knew all that reading about easter religions was bound to pay off, someday.

mil besos-- the bodhisattva of clearasil

justice in the universe and chicken soup

and so it goes that the best team money can buy is crushed by their rivals. i have no idea what has spurred on my love affair with baseball this year, nor what has prompted my seeminly undying devotion to the bosox, but i will say that baseball may be the saving grace of western society-- but only if the freaking american league will dump the designated hitter rule. the world series starts on saturday. hot diggity.

in other news, well, there is no other news. i'm just working, trying to digest political, social, religious, etc. kind of information. lately, i can't seem to read enough, or hear enough, or think about enough. i'm trying not to talk so much, but for a chatterbox like me, that's a tough deal. life is good.

i made a damn good pot of chicken soup for my high school kids last night. it was spicy, and chickeny, and full of noodle goodness. and just because i can, i'll include the recipe below.

needed: one large stock pot, chicken parts or whole chicken (if you're not picky about white vs. dark meat, it's cheaper to buy a whole chicken), six or seven ribs of celery, four or five carrots, one large sweet yellow onion, about 20 cloves of garlic (no seriously), mrs. dash's bold and spicy, a small box of knorr chicken boullion cubes, a carton of sliced mushrooms, six or seven stalks of fresh rosemary, salt and pepper, one large package of small egg noodles.

if you are using a whole chicken--wash it inside and out with cold running water. salt and pepper it, and shove a couple of spare rosemary stalks under the skin. if you are using chicken parts, i recommend that you use two dark pieces for every white piece you use. throw the chicken in the pot, and cover it with water, plus about two inches. turn the fire on high. while that's cooking, chop your veggies. chop coursely, or dice finely, depending on your preference. i know my kids like to pick things out, so i chop big. leave the garlic cloves whole. i'll tell you why in a minute.

once everything is chopped, throw the veggies, the garlic, and the mrs. dash in, as well. readjust your salt and pepper. you can leave out the salt, if you want, since you are using the chicken boullion. by the way, you should put that box in now. did i mention that the water should be boiling at this point? a nice rolling boil to cook that chicken...

the chicken is done cooking when the juices in the fattest part of the breast and thigh run clear, or when the thin bone in the leg slides cleanly out. you want to get the chicken just before this point. put the parts or the carcass in a separate bowl, and turn the fire down to low, add the noodles at this point. also, check your flavor, and adjust as necessary.

allow the chicken to cool a bit, and then remove the skin and discard. at this point, you can remove the meat and return it to the pot, or if you're using pieces, and want a more rustic presentation peel the skin off, and throw the meat back in the pot to finish cooking. when you plate up, everyone can have their own piece of chicken in the bowl. i saw that on a show once, it just looks messier for everyone.

once the noodles are aldente, turn the pot all the way off. you're ready to eat now. you can serve this with brown and serve rolls, or an artisan bread, etc. and the reason you want to leave those garlic cloves whole is because they make an excellent butter substitute, now that they are all mushy and good. we also followed with sugar cookies and butter cream icing. woo hoo.

randomly yours--

mil besos, r

falling up

just finished reading "white oleander" by janet fitch. forget that it's an oprah book club selection-- it's a great book. i read it in four nights. searingly beautiful. seriously. i found myself thinking about what was said in the book more deeply than i've thought about just about anything in a long time. thoughts that would keep me up, keep me reading, keep me thinking. i'm half-tempted to re-read it this week. it's a book about home, about longing, about belonging, about love, about growing up, and about lonliness, which the protagonist's mother claims is THE human condition. interesting, no? seriously, pick up this book.

life is good. same insanity, different dress.

mil besos--rmg

the grass is always greener on the sliver side of the cloud...

or whatever. like anyone ever believes that crap, anyway. seriously. i know i've been negative nelly lately, but i'm just not in the mood to be positive polly at the moment. no, right now, i think i'd like to be get-it-done gloria. yeah, that's it.

what am i getting done you might ask? well, i'll be perfectly honest i'm trying like hell to get it all done. it's time to clean house, people. and i'm not talking about getting rid of old sweaters. i'm talking about a serious attitude adjustment, some good introspection being had, some good work on myself and my relationships. i think it's about getting rid of the bullshit, to be blunt. and you know what? it's exciting.

i've been thinking about strategic planning for my job alot lately. some of that is self-preservation, and some of that is about ending the professional funk i seem to be stuck in, and some of that is about really coming up with a well-articulated vision/mission that people can invest in and be excited by. it's a daunting task, to tell the truth. and it's risky. risky because it will seem to some that i'm calling some people to task for not doing the same kind of planning. it's risky because it's a new thing for this place, and new things are always risky. but it's time to do it, nonetheless. best case scenario: it works, it's contagious, and things get better. worst case scenario: the whole thing implodes and sucks, and then i get fired for being too smart for my own good, or looking like a subverter. either way, there will be change. change i can deal with. but mediocrity and status quo are pretty much making me want to throw up on an hourly basis, to be perfectly honest.

and as far as that goes, the strategic plan is extending itself into my life. granted, it's not the same plan as the work one. shocked, aren't you? i know i was...

no, the life plan is different. and it's not about being unflexible. it's about calling myself into account. when i was 20, there were about 9 million things i wanted to do when i grew up. well, i am up. and i've done some of those things. and other of those things, i have let grow very far away, for no good reason other than that i was being lazy or fatalistic about them. and it's time to reconnect with those things. it's time to make a list of goals, simple though they may be, and just start doing them. no one is keeping me from them but myself. and i can do something about that. everyday.

thanks for listening to the existential rant...

life is good. the seasons are changing...

mil besos--rachel

word for the day

insanity. i heard somewhere that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time. if that's the case, then when it comes to planning and executing retreats, i have totally lost my ever-loving mind.

in 2002, i took 16 kids and two other adults to wimberley, texas. we played in the river, ate God knows how many roasted marshmallows, and played hide and go seek until we couldn't run any more. this year, there are 38 kids and five adults. i'm excited and nervous. and i'm so glad they are making sugar-free red bull that i can hardly contain myself.

i'm sure by the end of the weekend, i'll have had a little bit of sun, a little bit of drama, been farted or burped on by at least three children, had to sit someone in time out, make someone apologize for being an asshole, and be praying to God that if i ever do get married and have children that they will have all the good things my current kids have and none of the bad stuff. at some point this weekend, i will question whether God really does have a sense of humour, whether or not taking a retreat was ever a good idea, whether or not the pharmacist who fills these kids' prescriptions accidentally switched their real medicine for crack, and i will probably wonder if you can do an emergency tubal ligation on yourself with a s'more skewer and a flask full of johnny walker black. except i wouldn't take a flask of johnny walker black with me. mostly because i don't have a flask, but also because i would feel bad for drinking on the job. i hate that i have a code of ethics...

one day, i will look back on this period in my professional life and be amazed at the stamina i had, because by the time it's over with, i want to be a profession beach-bum and pina colada tester.

i hope this fall retreat is as fun, and not quite as eventful as the famous meth-lab raid of 2003. i'll keep you updated.

mil besos--r

thank God it's wednesday

if it were monday, i'd probably be in tears. i have no idea why i have such a bad attitude lately, but i sure do. i'd like to chalk it up to pms, but i'm afraid that is simply not the case. i'm just asking myself some big questions lately. like "what do i really want to do with the rest of my life?" or "who do i want to be when i'm 30?" or "what kind of a life do i want for myself?" or "what really is my vocation?" like i said, big questions.

and i'm not pretending that i think i'm the only one who ever feels this way. God knows everyone goes through some new self-discovery period every few years. it seems like it's so popular for 20somethings to go through a "quarter-life" crisis, that i think i've thought myself into that particular hole.

i mean, each of us, in our own way, is seeking to make a difference in the world. and that is going to look totally different to every person, because we all see the world through our own sets of values, mores, ideals, etc. i just want to know what God or the Universe or Ultimate Reality expects of me. and maybe that's a cop out. maybe all that God or the Universe or Ultimate Reality every really wants from us is for us to find out what makes us happy, under what set of rules we function best, how we can best fill a hole or grease a gear, etc. the frusterating thing for me right now is that i can see so many holes, and hear so many grinding gears. does that make sense?

i just think it's time to say all of this out loud, because the great bulk of you already know how i'm feeling right now, and some of you have felt this way yourselves at some point. at any rate, talking about this, and "saying it out loud" is better than gassing up the car and driving to a beach far far away. sort of.

tomorrow will be better.

mil besos-r

surreality

ok, so around 1:30 this morning, i had to get up and go potty. it took me until 3:30 ish to get back to sleep. go figure. that's the thanks i get from the body i am trying to hydrate. traitor...

at any rate, i tried frantically to go back to sleep, and all i could think of were things i needed to do at work, as well as possible blog topics to write about. once again, go figure.

some of you may know my deep affection for john cusak movies. i love them. and one of my absolute favorites was "high fidelity", based on the eponymous book by nick hornby. great book, great movie. and in the book/movie, the main character has this habit of making top five lists. i adore that. i think you can tell a lot about a person based on the topic of the lists, as well as content thereof. so this morning, in the wee wee (ha ha, get it?) hours, i came up with a list all my own to share with you guys.

ahem,

top five most surreal locations/happenings i've dealt with thus far(in no particular order)

1. being farted at/on-to during a staff meeting when i worked in dc, with nary a word to excuse the farter or to comfort the fartee (that would be me)

2. seeing an actual shark in the wild while i was snorkeling off key west three summers ago

3. last night in my car, giving "the talk" (you know the talk i'm talking about) to five of my high school cherubs

4. actually being on top of the empire state building, site of two of my favorite love stories-- an affair to remember and sleepless in seattle

5. getting coffee at national press club, and being pissed that the guy in line in front of me was hogging all the cream, only to realize that said cream hog was none other than former vice-presidential candidate joseph liberman. he's very short, and likes the cream ALOT


and there you have it, my dearies. a top five that kept me up and amused until 3:30 this am.
peace out. word to yo mutha.

mil besos-r

shoes, and ships, and sealing wax...

the short story of the rest of the vacation goes something like this-- ryan and i rented a car. we went to maine for an afternoon/evening. it was gross. we went back to boston and slept, because if we had gone out to the cape that night, it would have cost us $190 for a queen-sized bed (only one, i might add) at a best western (or something like that) in fall river. not just no, but hell no. so, we went to plymouth the next morning. the day was beautiful. high blue sky, and a little brisk. i took along a jacket. it was sunday, so the traffic wasn't bad at all. we got coffee at dunkin donuts. it was good. the breakfast sandwich i got, sadly, was gross.

i'd like to point out that texas does not have the market cornered on dumbass drivers. i'm not talking about people who occasionally space out, or drive with their blinkers on for miles, or even the one's who perpetually drive ten miles slower than the speed limit in the fast lane. no, no-- i'm talking about people who actually come to a full stop on merge lanes when there is no one coming in the next lane. i'm talking about people who aren't watching the merge traffice, they're watching you come down the ramp behind them. i'm talking about the a-hole i love tapped at the bottom of the merge lane on our way into plymouth township, who insisted on pulling over to check the bumper on his car.

brendan-- don't get all panicked. we didn't even call the cops, and all the info on my driver's license is at least three apartments old by now. sucka...

at any rate, thank God for five mile an hour bumpers, and that God loves morons. this guy had bumpers and was a moron, so all to the better, i say. yeah, instead of merging like he was supposed to, he was watching me come down the ramp. i was trying to see what was going on and why he wasn't merging when i tapped him. i was not happy. not happy at all. honest mistake, but even so. he was fine, his passenger was fine (they both said s0) but he took my info anyway. he said he'd been "watchin' yas, and i didn't like how ya was comin aff the ramp". i hope he was just having a bad and isn't really that big of an a-hole in real life...

plymouth looks like exactly what you'd expect it to look like. lots of "ye olde shoppes" along the water front. plymouth rock (see pictures) is way up at the water line, and i hate to tell you this folks, but there's no way in hell the mayflower actually got anywhere near that rock. they even told us as much on the tour of the historic MayflowerII. as an aside, Mayflower II and most of the "ye olde shoppes" were full of workers in period dress, much like Williamsburg, etc. it's kind of informational and kind of creepy. plymouth was interesting-- i didn't get the chills or the warm fuzzies, but i did get a little teary reading the native american plaque. as much as i'm glad for forward progress and all, and as thankful as i am to live in a free/industrialized nation, it makes me sad to think of all the people who got stepped on and over on our way to where we are.

the ride home was uneventful. we returned the car, told the guy about the bumper dude, and went to find some lunch. we ended up eating on newberry street, but sadly missed the tricycle man who screams at people to move. we drank some adult beverages, and watched the red sox game on tv. once we had a decent buzz, we called my mother, because that's just what ryan and i do when we drink together. i don't remember what we talked about, but i know everyone was laughing. we did actually make it back to ryan's and promptly fell asleep.

monday was lots of walking-- we went to harvard square, and while i wanted to buy something in the harvard bookstore, i didn't want to spend $60 on any given item. so we ate some really bad mexican food and went back to town. and then i bought my obligatory t-shirts, etc. then we went home, and slept some more. and then, i had to be up at 3am on tuesday, so i could come home.

and just like paul harvey says, now you know the rest of the story.

something informaiton and enlightening to post next time, perchance.

smooches--r

it takes a village...

this week has been...special. if it hadn't been for my kids-- who seemed to make me laugh at all the right moments, and my mother--who seems to be willing to listen to me talk about damn near anything, i might have just run away from home. i think i may be bordering on what some people call "burn-out". seems like a candy-assed thing to say, since i just got back from a week away, but it's true nonetheless.

the move into the new offices has been...interesting, and the start of the school year seems to be on super fast-forward. it's just been a really stressful couple of months. i'm sure everything will time out and get smoother. or at least i hope so. i'd hate to be staring down the barrel of christmas still feeling like i'm barely treading water. yuck.

the kids are great though. apparently, one of my cherubs burped so loud last night that he actually stopped conversation in the next room. thank God it was Rhoda's bible study, and they think stuff like that is funny, or i would have been in a world of hurt.

i still have to finish telling my vacation stories, i'm just kind of pooped right now, and need to go buy dodge balls for sunday youth group.

i promise to have something good to say.

love--rachel

me, in central park. oh yeah.