it's been quite the last few days, friends and neighbors. esteban came in on thursday night, and except for the time he spent with his fam, esteban, stuey and i were inseparable. it was quite the learning experience... my liver hurts real bad, right now, i'm ashamed to say. i learned several new words, none of which are blogable, but are fun to know, just the same. i learned that club soda actually does get red wine stains out of carpet the hard way. i also became esteban and stuey's favorite female friend because i helped them wax and shave their backs. it was highly entertaining, much like my habitual use of the cell phone while intoxicated. my apologies to you fine people who got called...a lady had a long night.
we also managed to crashed a james bond party (at a bar, not at a house--we do have SOME class...)on thursday-- the bond people gave us big stink-eye for showing up to their party in jeans and flip flops. esteban insisted on wearing the conical hat (like a rice hat) he'd bought at party pig around all night thursday night. shocker that it ended up sans it's elastic strap and died and undignified death on my dining room table.
to say that we had a good visit seems a horrible understatement. we celebrated his trip and my soon departure from the current job in style last night-- esteban, stuey, and i finished off two bottles (one small pinot and one really huge shiraz) of red, listened to lots of random music, and laughed our heads off. i woke up at four and had to take two advil, because it felt like my head was full of tiny people with tiny pick-axes hacking away at my grey matter. i also had to wake up because i was having the worst dreams EVER. scenario one: i am female napoleon dynamite, trying to get across the country and having to sell my favors in the back of a winnebago to get home. awful, awful, awful. Scenario two: i am running a used car lot and attempting to sell cars to the entire cast of dallas. equally weird, but not as awkward as the first scenario. this, friends and neighbors, is why i rarely drink. it messes with my head. real bad.
so the boss has been in and out all day today, so everytime i walk up to his office door to have The Talk, he's busy walking out of it, on the phone, etc. part of me wonders what would happen if i just taped my letter to his door, and left at 5. but, i am a lady, and ladies do things the right way. boo.
consider yourselves caught up. i'm sure there will be another story tomorrow, but hopefully a dreamless night. yay.
mil besos--rmg
31 May 2005
26 May 2005
spazzy magee
i've been thinking alot about what i do lately, and why i do what i do, and why i think it's important. i've also been thinking about why it's time to move on...here are some of those thoughs...
what i do: i listen to kids. i play with kids. i tie dye, i make them eat gross food, i play endless games of sardines. i write bible studies that i know full well i will only get to teach half of, because God will steer the direction of the conversation where God wills. i make phone calls, i write emails, i send post cards and newsletters. i sit on instant messenger so that kids can tell me about what they did that day. i try to give sound advice on how to not get into trouble with parents, siblings, and teachers. and i try to give sound advice on how to not get in trouble with children to parents.
why i do what i do: i do it all because i firmly believe that if the family dynamic is healthy, the church will be healthy. i do it all because i feel that children have magnificent things to say and do and be, and they are at a time in their lives when it's all but impossible for their parents to be there at all times. i do it because it's precious to me. because i firmly believe that they have a place a the table, and all my gifts in this life have led me to be here to help them set that place.
i don't kid myself that i teach them grand and glorious things about theology or ultimate reality. i don't kid myself that i'm teaching them how to be more moral people. i'm there so that in 15 years, they will be there, too. i'm there so that they know they matter and that they are loved, which they won't get until 15 years from now, anyway.
why it's time to do something else: little things that used to make me laugh drive me nuts now. there is a point at which you know too much to stay, but enough to leave-- i am at that point. i love my kids enough to let someone else love them. i value my relationship with God enough to move on and see what's around the next bend in the road, even though the easy thing to do would be to stay in my comfort zone. it would also potentially be the worst thing.
so, there's that...in other news, esteban's flight from boston will be here in about and hour and a half. let the fun begin.
i had some trouble getting to sleep last night. i even stayed up to watch malcolm in the middle, which usually does the trick, but to no avail. i read some of my book filled with unfamiliar russian last names and oddly translated words, but to no avail. i finally got to sleep around 2. silly me, i know. i guess the thought of grown-up fun for three days is just too much to handle. and i'm going to see the fam this weekend, on top of that, so a wee bit of extra excitement was prolly in order.
this is the second weird hair (not bad, i do not have bad hair days) i've had in a row. i think i got too much product in it this morning. under other circumstances, i would have washed it and started over, but i was running a little on the late side, since i hit the snooze button twice. if it goes for three days, i may have to make an apt. with the hair lady to get things figured out. i'll keep you posted. be ready for lots of stories on tuesday, maybe sooner if i can tear myself away from the fun zone to post.
mil besos-r
what i do: i listen to kids. i play with kids. i tie dye, i make them eat gross food, i play endless games of sardines. i write bible studies that i know full well i will only get to teach half of, because God will steer the direction of the conversation where God wills. i make phone calls, i write emails, i send post cards and newsletters. i sit on instant messenger so that kids can tell me about what they did that day. i try to give sound advice on how to not get into trouble with parents, siblings, and teachers. and i try to give sound advice on how to not get in trouble with children to parents.
why i do what i do: i do it all because i firmly believe that if the family dynamic is healthy, the church will be healthy. i do it all because i feel that children have magnificent things to say and do and be, and they are at a time in their lives when it's all but impossible for their parents to be there at all times. i do it because it's precious to me. because i firmly believe that they have a place a the table, and all my gifts in this life have led me to be here to help them set that place.
i don't kid myself that i teach them grand and glorious things about theology or ultimate reality. i don't kid myself that i'm teaching them how to be more moral people. i'm there so that in 15 years, they will be there, too. i'm there so that they know they matter and that they are loved, which they won't get until 15 years from now, anyway.
why it's time to do something else: little things that used to make me laugh drive me nuts now. there is a point at which you know too much to stay, but enough to leave-- i am at that point. i love my kids enough to let someone else love them. i value my relationship with God enough to move on and see what's around the next bend in the road, even though the easy thing to do would be to stay in my comfort zone. it would also potentially be the worst thing.
so, there's that...in other news, esteban's flight from boston will be here in about and hour and a half. let the fun begin.
i had some trouble getting to sleep last night. i even stayed up to watch malcolm in the middle, which usually does the trick, but to no avail. i read some of my book filled with unfamiliar russian last names and oddly translated words, but to no avail. i finally got to sleep around 2. silly me, i know. i guess the thought of grown-up fun for three days is just too much to handle. and i'm going to see the fam this weekend, on top of that, so a wee bit of extra excitement was prolly in order.
this is the second weird hair (not bad, i do not have bad hair days) i've had in a row. i think i got too much product in it this morning. under other circumstances, i would have washed it and started over, but i was running a little on the late side, since i hit the snooze button twice. if it goes for three days, i may have to make an apt. with the hair lady to get things figured out. i'll keep you posted. be ready for lots of stories on tuesday, maybe sooner if i can tear myself away from the fun zone to post.
mil besos-r
25 May 2005
once more, with feeling
i guess you can deduce from this communication that i did not explode after my untra-fiber breakfast. you can stop saying novenas now...if you want to.
alright people, it's 3:45pm, and i just had my afternoon meeting cancelled. life is good. very good. an even though it means missing free amy's ice cream, i think i will live. besides, i need to go home and clean my house, change the sheets on my bed, buy some toilet paper, run the dishwasher, etc before esteban arrives. and tomorrow, around 5:30, if you hear a loud noise followed by an immediate shortage in martini olives, just chalk it up to me and esteban being on the prowl, once again. and if i call you for bail money, act like you know me and don't hang up the phone.
i have to say that while i haven't had anymore laughing fits, i did have some custard after lunch, and i remembered another hot afternoon custard run. we (the future mrs. CHRISTMAN, super-mel, andrea, and little me) were coming back from the new jersey shore (we stayed the weekend at brooke stupid's (not her real last name, and we really do love her..., it's a long story) beach house, after the future mrs. CHRISTMAN and i had camped out with her inner-city kids and scared the crap out of them with ghost stories...), actually almost right about this time of year, and we stopped on the way back to dc for some frozen custard. super-mel got some creamcicle in her hair (whilst she was trying to untagle a ring from her necklace and trying not to get creamcicle drippage on the future mrs. CHRISTman's upholstry), and in the laughter that insued, proceeded to wipe it all over the windows of the future mrs. CHRISTman's toyota. i think i might have laughed myself into partial bladder control failure, but i'll never tell for sure. that combined with the fact that while getting gas in new jersey (they won't let you pump your own gas-- how bizarre!), i actually referred to our gas pumper as "skippy" when i handed him the gas card. i was a little embarassed, mostly for him, because he was a total skippy, but that's another story.
all is well. get ready for some stories on tuesday, which, incedentally, will also be THE DAY i boldly go where many have gone before, hopefully with some grace and style. i'll keep you posted.
mil besos--r
alright people, it's 3:45pm, and i just had my afternoon meeting cancelled. life is good. very good. an even though it means missing free amy's ice cream, i think i will live. besides, i need to go home and clean my house, change the sheets on my bed, buy some toilet paper, run the dishwasher, etc before esteban arrives. and tomorrow, around 5:30, if you hear a loud noise followed by an immediate shortage in martini olives, just chalk it up to me and esteban being on the prowl, once again. and if i call you for bail money, act like you know me and don't hang up the phone.
i have to say that while i haven't had anymore laughing fits, i did have some custard after lunch, and i remembered another hot afternoon custard run. we (the future mrs. CHRISTMAN, super-mel, andrea, and little me) were coming back from the new jersey shore (we stayed the weekend at brooke stupid's (not her real last name, and we really do love her..., it's a long story) beach house, after the future mrs. CHRISTMAN and i had camped out with her inner-city kids and scared the crap out of them with ghost stories...), actually almost right about this time of year, and we stopped on the way back to dc for some frozen custard. super-mel got some creamcicle in her hair (whilst she was trying to untagle a ring from her necklace and trying not to get creamcicle drippage on the future mrs. CHRISTman's upholstry), and in the laughter that insued, proceeded to wipe it all over the windows of the future mrs. CHRISTman's toyota. i think i might have laughed myself into partial bladder control failure, but i'll never tell for sure. that combined with the fact that while getting gas in new jersey (they won't let you pump your own gas-- how bizarre!), i actually referred to our gas pumper as "skippy" when i handed him the gas card. i was a little embarassed, mostly for him, because he was a total skippy, but that's another story.
all is well. get ready for some stories on tuesday, which, incedentally, will also be THE DAY i boldly go where many have gone before, hopefully with some grace and style. i'll keep you posted.
mil besos--r
wednesday morning, 10:15am
i've already had two laughing fits today, and no coffee. i hope you folks are ready for a fun day. i know i am.
first fit-- i went to bed with wet hair last night, and woke up with major chicken hair. lumps, bumps, and weird waves. for those of you who have seen me in such a state, to say that it's not pretty seems like a horrible understatement. so, instead of hopping in the shower, i turned on the sink and just stuck my head under the faucet, which would have been fine, (i have done this before, countless times...) had i not gotten a big chunk of hair stuck in the drain. it hurt real bad. but i was laughing to hard to panic. i leaned further into the sink, by this time trying not to panic, but still laughing, and gently pulled my hair out of the sink. i am very picky and protective when it comes to my hair, so i was very very glad that i didn't have to cut any of it off to extricate myself from the sink.
second fit--my old roomie , the soon to be mrs. CHRISTman (yes, i spelled it that way on purpose, and no she's not going to become a nun...) sent me a lovely mix cd last week. there's this great song on it called "david duchovney" by a band called bree sharp. what a super song! i laughed and laughed, and then replayed it so i could sing along to the chorus. my favorite tag: to kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me, why won't you love me, david duchovney?" i got the giggles again. and they lasted for a while, because once i got to work...
it was breakfast time. i know, i will miss this kind of lax working environment when i finally grow up and go all corporate. so, i made myself some oatmeal (pick yourself off the floor mom, i really do like the stuff now). only i didn't make it right, because i put too much water in the mug. and it ended up all soupy and gooey, but not in a good way. so, instead of pouring that out and starting over, i just kept adding oatmeal packets. i ate three oatmeal packets for breakfast. i'm expecting some interesting developments over the next few hours...i hope i don't explode.
i'll keep you posted, sort of.
in other blogs, my good friend bethy @ www.bethsincessantramblings.blogspot.com
has a very good (i think so anyway) post up about stem cell research. check it out.
mil besos--r
first fit-- i went to bed with wet hair last night, and woke up with major chicken hair. lumps, bumps, and weird waves. for those of you who have seen me in such a state, to say that it's not pretty seems like a horrible understatement. so, instead of hopping in the shower, i turned on the sink and just stuck my head under the faucet, which would have been fine, (i have done this before, countless times...) had i not gotten a big chunk of hair stuck in the drain. it hurt real bad. but i was laughing to hard to panic. i leaned further into the sink, by this time trying not to panic, but still laughing, and gently pulled my hair out of the sink. i am very picky and protective when it comes to my hair, so i was very very glad that i didn't have to cut any of it off to extricate myself from the sink.
second fit--my old roomie , the soon to be mrs. CHRISTman (yes, i spelled it that way on purpose, and no she's not going to become a nun...) sent me a lovely mix cd last week. there's this great song on it called "david duchovney" by a band called bree sharp. what a super song! i laughed and laughed, and then replayed it so i could sing along to the chorus. my favorite tag: to kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me, why won't you love me, david duchovney?" i got the giggles again. and they lasted for a while, because once i got to work...
it was breakfast time. i know, i will miss this kind of lax working environment when i finally grow up and go all corporate. so, i made myself some oatmeal (pick yourself off the floor mom, i really do like the stuff now). only i didn't make it right, because i put too much water in the mug. and it ended up all soupy and gooey, but not in a good way. so, instead of pouring that out and starting over, i just kept adding oatmeal packets. i ate three oatmeal packets for breakfast. i'm expecting some interesting developments over the next few hours...i hope i don't explode.
i'll keep you posted, sort of.
in other blogs, my good friend bethy @ www.bethsincessantramblings.blogspot.com
has a very good (i think so anyway) post up about stem cell research. check it out.
mil besos--r
24 May 2005
wonderment, part two
my mom is offically the smartest person i know. i've known that for sometime now, but feel compelled to say it in a public venue. and even though we absolutely don't agree on things like politics or whether or not i should have short hair, i still think she's a genius.
i'd also like to thank her for not killing me when i was in junior high, because G-d knows i gave her plenty of chances and reasons. and i'm sure that she would have much rather had my brother and i ride in the trunk on some of those trips to see the alabama folks, instead of listening to us fight and call each other sweet names like butt-face or fart-knocker (that one still cracks me up...)
some answers to this morning's questions:
1) tom cruise makes news because he is prettier than the average man. that's all there is to it. it's not right, but that's the way it is.
2) mj is a big old freak, all accusations of parental misconduct aside. and letterman will always be better than leno. period.
3) dr. spock would definately not approve of putting your kids in the trunk to see grammy. but maybe if we supported a movement to apply a living wage to working families, the fam in question could have freaking gone greyhound.
4) coffee sketches me out because i let it. i have moved on to tea.
5) i remember what i wear because i like memories better than money. i call the bank to make sure i have money, even though i know i do. i chalk that up to not wanting to get caught off guard, even though i know i won't. it's bizarre, i know.
6) my grandmother's tuna fish salad tastes better because, like my brother says, she makes it with extra love, and that's something you can't make for yourself.
in other news...
save your pocket money. i may need it for bail, if not this weekend, then next weekend.
esteban is coming in this weekend for merriment and memorializing, and the next weekend, the derkirita and kk and i are going to big bend, etc. for some much needed vacationizing and debauchery. at least as much debauchery as the three of us can kick up in brewster county. i'll admit that while we are nice girls, we do in fact know some people who have done naughty things. like skinny dipping at rio vista and getting busted right before graduation. so, even though we won't be super-bad, i can imagine that we will gossip and drink beer and tell scary stories. and we will probably eat some chocolate. and derkirita and kk will roast peeps by the campfire while i try not to throw up. it's going to be a good time. and there will be a lot of music, as well.
which brings me to another fine point-- the wild bean made me a weezer mix sunday night. i haven't taken it out of my cd player yet. i adore weezer. the sweater song makes me feel all sassy and nostalgic at the same time. it's one of those songs that i could totally get busted singing to at a stop light and about which i would feel utterly unapologetic. same goes for "crash on the barrelhead" by the old 97's.
oh geeze, it's three o'clock. time to do work. i'll try and give you people more inane drivel to read later this pm...
mil besos-r
i'd also like to thank her for not killing me when i was in junior high, because G-d knows i gave her plenty of chances and reasons. and i'm sure that she would have much rather had my brother and i ride in the trunk on some of those trips to see the alabama folks, instead of listening to us fight and call each other sweet names like butt-face or fart-knocker (that one still cracks me up...)
some answers to this morning's questions:
1) tom cruise makes news because he is prettier than the average man. that's all there is to it. it's not right, but that's the way it is.
2) mj is a big old freak, all accusations of parental misconduct aside. and letterman will always be better than leno. period.
3) dr. spock would definately not approve of putting your kids in the trunk to see grammy. but maybe if we supported a movement to apply a living wage to working families, the fam in question could have freaking gone greyhound.
4) coffee sketches me out because i let it. i have moved on to tea.
5) i remember what i wear because i like memories better than money. i call the bank to make sure i have money, even though i know i do. i chalk that up to not wanting to get caught off guard, even though i know i won't. it's bizarre, i know.
6) my grandmother's tuna fish salad tastes better because, like my brother says, she makes it with extra love, and that's something you can't make for yourself.
in other news...
save your pocket money. i may need it for bail, if not this weekend, then next weekend.
esteban is coming in this weekend for merriment and memorializing, and the next weekend, the derkirita and kk and i are going to big bend, etc. for some much needed vacationizing and debauchery. at least as much debauchery as the three of us can kick up in brewster county. i'll admit that while we are nice girls, we do in fact know some people who have done naughty things. like skinny dipping at rio vista and getting busted right before graduation. so, even though we won't be super-bad, i can imagine that we will gossip and drink beer and tell scary stories. and we will probably eat some chocolate. and derkirita and kk will roast peeps by the campfire while i try not to throw up. it's going to be a good time. and there will be a lot of music, as well.
which brings me to another fine point-- the wild bean made me a weezer mix sunday night. i haven't taken it out of my cd player yet. i adore weezer. the sweater song makes me feel all sassy and nostalgic at the same time. it's one of those songs that i could totally get busted singing to at a stop light and about which i would feel utterly unapologetic. same goes for "crash on the barrelhead" by the old 97's.
oh geeze, it's three o'clock. time to do work. i'll try and give you people more inane drivel to read later this pm...
mil besos-r
just wondering...
ok, here are my questions for the day:
why does what tom cruise says about katie holmes get registered as news? what about that seems right?
why in the world is jay leno testifying for michael jackson? what about that seems like a good idea?
why do parents put their kids in the trunk of a car to go visit auntie so-and-so? dr. spock would definately not recommend that, would he?
why does coffee make me awake and focused if i drink it before 10am, but jittery and freaked out if i drink it after 3pm?
why can i remember what i had on during pivotal occasions/conversations in my life but have to call the bank to check my balance?
last one:
why, even though i make mine the exact same way, does my grandmother's tuna fish salad taste better than mine?
go ahead, leave a comment, i dare you.
i'll be back later, maybe even with some answers...
mil besos-r
why does what tom cruise says about katie holmes get registered as news? what about that seems right?
why in the world is jay leno testifying for michael jackson? what about that seems like a good idea?
why do parents put their kids in the trunk of a car to go visit auntie so-and-so? dr. spock would definately not recommend that, would he?
why does coffee make me awake and focused if i drink it before 10am, but jittery and freaked out if i drink it after 3pm?
why can i remember what i had on during pivotal occasions/conversations in my life but have to call the bank to check my balance?
last one:
why, even though i make mine the exact same way, does my grandmother's tuna fish salad taste better than mine?
go ahead, leave a comment, i dare you.
i'll be back later, maybe even with some answers...
mil besos-r
17 May 2005
truth number 2
the greatest niece/nephew ever will be discovering the universe on december 5th--probably. his/her parents are happy and doing well. his/her auntie is very excited. his/her auntie is having a hard time restraining the urgent need to shop and buy lots of fun baby things. yay.
mil besos-r
mil besos-r
my favorite art form
ok, it's 2:30pm and i just got out of the most pointless staff meeting ever. staff meetings are a waste of time, and i happen to believe that waste is a sin.
the only thing that could make me feel better (ok, it's on the short list of things that could make me feel better) is a killer nap. and i don't just mean the fall asleep on the couch by accident while you're trying to watch oprah. i'm talking about the full on purposeful nap. you know what i mean-- the kind of nap where you eat a little extra food at lunch to push you into a carb-coma, rush home before you get crossed eyed at the wheel, throw on your pj pants and a t-shirt (my preferred outfit: blue and white pin-stripe old navy cotton boxer pants and a [plain white hanes undershirt-- best outfit in the world. i love that outfit more than i will probably love my wedding dress) crank the air conditioner down to 65, turn off the cell phone, snuggle under the covers and sleep.
and not just any ordinary sleep, either. i mean sleep like you can only get when you take a really intentional, well-planned nap. the kind of sleep that takes you 30 minutes to climb out of because you are so relaxed that your whole body just kind of tingles, the kind of sleep that you wake from briefly to drink some water or go potty and then rush right back into (because, let's face it, if you asked for an i.v. and a foley before you went to sleep, people would look at you all funny). the kind of sleep that starts at 4pm on an idle tuesday and ends somewhere around 7am on wednesday. it's amazing.
i remember my golden days of napping-- napping was what i referred to as sleep in college. my friends and mom knew when i had class, and knew if i wasn't in class, i was prolly working on homework or asleep. people knew when to call, when to come by, and they never, ever messed with my nap schedule. it was wonderful. i could work until 3am, sleep until my 10 am class, go to class until 2 or 3pm, come home and nap until 6pm, go eat dinner at the cafeteria (or cook after i moved out of the dorm), come home and study or do homework until 2 or 3am and start the cycle all over again. it was glorious. ah, college, how i occasionally miss you...
life is good. sleep is good. once i finally get home today (it's a long one, today friends and neighbors. two of my cherubs wanted to have one last breakfast with little old me before they graduate, so i met them at our spot at 7am, and tonight is a graduation party for a staff member, so i won't be home until 8pm. please hold all calls and questions until then...) i need to pack for my weekend jaunt to the piney woods, thank G-d i did laundry and ironed last night.
ta ta for now, my compatriots.
viva la nap. mil besos--r
the only thing that could make me feel better (ok, it's on the short list of things that could make me feel better) is a killer nap. and i don't just mean the fall asleep on the couch by accident while you're trying to watch oprah. i'm talking about the full on purposeful nap. you know what i mean-- the kind of nap where you eat a little extra food at lunch to push you into a carb-coma, rush home before you get crossed eyed at the wheel, throw on your pj pants and a t-shirt (my preferred outfit: blue and white pin-stripe old navy cotton boxer pants and a [plain white hanes undershirt-- best outfit in the world. i love that outfit more than i will probably love my wedding dress) crank the air conditioner down to 65, turn off the cell phone, snuggle under the covers and sleep.
and not just any ordinary sleep, either. i mean sleep like you can only get when you take a really intentional, well-planned nap. the kind of sleep that takes you 30 minutes to climb out of because you are so relaxed that your whole body just kind of tingles, the kind of sleep that you wake from briefly to drink some water or go potty and then rush right back into (because, let's face it, if you asked for an i.v. and a foley before you went to sleep, people would look at you all funny). the kind of sleep that starts at 4pm on an idle tuesday and ends somewhere around 7am on wednesday. it's amazing.
i remember my golden days of napping-- napping was what i referred to as sleep in college. my friends and mom knew when i had class, and knew if i wasn't in class, i was prolly working on homework or asleep. people knew when to call, when to come by, and they never, ever messed with my nap schedule. it was wonderful. i could work until 3am, sleep until my 10 am class, go to class until 2 or 3pm, come home and nap until 6pm, go eat dinner at the cafeteria (or cook after i moved out of the dorm), come home and study or do homework until 2 or 3am and start the cycle all over again. it was glorious. ah, college, how i occasionally miss you...
life is good. sleep is good. once i finally get home today (it's a long one, today friends and neighbors. two of my cherubs wanted to have one last breakfast with little old me before they graduate, so i met them at our spot at 7am, and tonight is a graduation party for a staff member, so i won't be home until 8pm. please hold all calls and questions until then...) i need to pack for my weekend jaunt to the piney woods, thank G-d i did laundry and ironed last night.
ta ta for now, my compatriots.
viva la nap. mil besos--r
16 May 2005
bad sign...
what happens when you have the only inanimate object in the zodiac as your sign? crappy horoscopes like this:
You may not have much luck getting to sleep for a day or so, especially if you've been trying to figure out how to deal with an extremely precarious personal situation.
well thank you Captain Obvious for that stunning and suprising report. geeze oh man, people, geeze oh man. i should tell you that i really don't put much stock in crap like horoscopes, etc. i pretty much think they are crap, all the time. today's hit the nail on the head, though. i don't know if that's coincidence, like how if you put 20 chimps in a room with 20 typewritters and locked them in for a certain period of time at some point they would have typed out all of shakespeare's sonnets, or if El Jefe (that's mary's baby daddy) is trying to get my attention by any means necessary. i know, El Jefe only rarely gets militant, but it's been known to happen from time to time.
the funny thing is, i've had a string of really great days. i don't mean days where it's all happy-happy joy-joy, but great days nonetheless. some light thinking, but no car crying, some light journaling, but no really bad poetry, some recreational alcohol consumption, but no drunk-dailing. i even found time to work on my tan this weekend. and brunch after baby nels' baptism was ab-fab. i am still a little full, i must confess. and then last night at about 8pm i just start on this spiral of thought that just never got to the bottom of everything. it sucked.
it was like i couldn't stop thinking-- and i don't mean just about me and my life. i was thinking about the november arrival of my fabulous niece or nephew, about my friend a-rod and how he needs a new job, about all these random interviews i have been encouraged to take--like everywhere from kansas to atlanta to houston, whether or not i am secretly out to break my own heart, etc. ok, so i did think alot about my life. and i tried the old trick of counting backwards from 476 (it used to work when i was little), i did my yoga breathing, i tried thinking of nice things, i imagined all my favorite colors in order (blue like the sky, green like the grass, brown like the dirt, etc...), i tried to sing all the verses from american pie inside my head, because i know the whole song is 24 minutes long, and i just knew that would put me to sleep.
i thought about turning the light on and reading some more, but by this time, it was almost 2, and i was afraid that if i started reading, i would get really interested and end up even more awake than i already was. i should have turned on the light. but i didn't come to that realization until about 6am, when i got up to go to the bathroom and realized that i had to be at work in 3.5 hours. i was not happy.
let me just say this: i know why they use sleeplessness to torture people. lack of sleep gets inside your head-- it makes you wonder about things you just should leave alone. it sucks.
sometimes i think i should change the blog's name from "blue plate special" to "welcome to my neurotic universe". it's bizarre, because i know i don't have a big old case of the crazies-- this is normal, i am ok, and lord knows i give a lot of latitude when it comes to the rest of the human race actually being human. maybe this is what mary luna meant when she told me i needed to learn to be gentle with myself. and maybe this is a start. so, keep reading if you dare. heaven knows i can't keep from writing it all down, in some form or fashion. in the mean time ( oh G-d, there is a song in that phrase, i just know it...) i'm going to go make a pot of coffee and finish my magical work notebook.
mil besos--rmg
*in the mean time,
in between time,
oh there's a fine line
between where you are
and where you wish to be*
You may not have much luck getting to sleep for a day or so, especially if you've been trying to figure out how to deal with an extremely precarious personal situation.
well thank you Captain Obvious for that stunning and suprising report. geeze oh man, people, geeze oh man. i should tell you that i really don't put much stock in crap like horoscopes, etc. i pretty much think they are crap, all the time. today's hit the nail on the head, though. i don't know if that's coincidence, like how if you put 20 chimps in a room with 20 typewritters and locked them in for a certain period of time at some point they would have typed out all of shakespeare's sonnets, or if El Jefe (that's mary's baby daddy) is trying to get my attention by any means necessary. i know, El Jefe only rarely gets militant, but it's been known to happen from time to time.
the funny thing is, i've had a string of really great days. i don't mean days where it's all happy-happy joy-joy, but great days nonetheless. some light thinking, but no car crying, some light journaling, but no really bad poetry, some recreational alcohol consumption, but no drunk-dailing. i even found time to work on my tan this weekend. and brunch after baby nels' baptism was ab-fab. i am still a little full, i must confess. and then last night at about 8pm i just start on this spiral of thought that just never got to the bottom of everything. it sucked.
it was like i couldn't stop thinking-- and i don't mean just about me and my life. i was thinking about the november arrival of my fabulous niece or nephew, about my friend a-rod and how he needs a new job, about all these random interviews i have been encouraged to take--like everywhere from kansas to atlanta to houston, whether or not i am secretly out to break my own heart, etc. ok, so i did think alot about my life. and i tried the old trick of counting backwards from 476 (it used to work when i was little), i did my yoga breathing, i tried thinking of nice things, i imagined all my favorite colors in order (blue like the sky, green like the grass, brown like the dirt, etc...), i tried to sing all the verses from american pie inside my head, because i know the whole song is 24 minutes long, and i just knew that would put me to sleep.
i thought about turning the light on and reading some more, but by this time, it was almost 2, and i was afraid that if i started reading, i would get really interested and end up even more awake than i already was. i should have turned on the light. but i didn't come to that realization until about 6am, when i got up to go to the bathroom and realized that i had to be at work in 3.5 hours. i was not happy.
let me just say this: i know why they use sleeplessness to torture people. lack of sleep gets inside your head-- it makes you wonder about things you just should leave alone. it sucks.
sometimes i think i should change the blog's name from "blue plate special" to "welcome to my neurotic universe". it's bizarre, because i know i don't have a big old case of the crazies-- this is normal, i am ok, and lord knows i give a lot of latitude when it comes to the rest of the human race actually being human. maybe this is what mary luna meant when she told me i needed to learn to be gentle with myself. and maybe this is a start. so, keep reading if you dare. heaven knows i can't keep from writing it all down, in some form or fashion. in the mean time ( oh G-d, there is a song in that phrase, i just know it...) i'm going to go make a pot of coffee and finish my magical work notebook.
mil besos--rmg
*in the mean time,
in between time,
oh there's a fine line
between where you are
and where you wish to be*
12 May 2005
a word about popular culture...
against the advice of "he who must be gratuitously footnoted and only occasionally obeyed", i am going to publish this post.
here's the deal, i have noticed a particular set of social ills that i fear must be addressed if we, as a civilized society, are going to achieve any progress beyond the ipod and aluminum foil. this is almost as important as the rant about why expansion teams aren't real and it's companion rant regarding the designated hitter. however, be advised that this rant may indeed hit a bit more close to home for all of you loyal blue-platters, because it's got nothing to do with major league sports at all. no, this time it's personal. this time, it's about porn.
that's right. i said it. porn. the pernicious evil that stalks and sours our minds. and i'm not just talking about "adult entertainment". it will be addressed, don't worry, but the side of porn about which i am most concerned is the emotional porn that hollywood churns out with wild abandon, the kind of porn you can take your little sister to watch and not feel like a perv. i'm not talking about movies like "naked nurses in space", etc. no, i'm talking about movies like "shakespeare in love" (oh, it hurt to write that. such a great movie...), "the notebook", and "notting hill".
here's my problem with porn, emotional or other wise. it's not real. it's fantasy. but there are people who know that on one level (like the level of "i'm sitting in this movie and watching this happen on a screen with fantastically good looking people who i also see on the cover of "people" and "us weekly" while i'm buying milk and toilet paper at the grocery") who fail to compute it on other levels. for example, i've heard not just one or two or three or even four of my nearest and dearest comment after watching such drivel (it's very, very good drivel, albeit very, very dangerous drivel) as "the notebook" or "garden state", "i wish a boy would love me like that..." in a wistful tone with misty, glossed over eyes. and that's when i realized that i had come face to face with emotional porn junkies. women who had bought into the lie that hollywood has created-- the perfect relationship.
you know the one i'm talking about. it goes something like this on the big screen:
boy meets girl, or girl meets boy.
boy and girl hook up.
boy and or girl cheats, dies, is maimed in some horrible accident, finds out they are switched at birth, knocks someone up or gets knocked up after a wild night of partying, etc.
boy and or girl makes sobbing confession, after which all is forgiven.
boy and girl ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after with no consequences, couples' counseling, or attachment issues.
and it goes something like this on the small screen, i.e.lifetime (television for women) movies...
girl is born into some kind of either very disturbingly normal or very disturbingly disfunctional family.
girl runs off to the big city/college/new town/career prospect to escape family or to hide that she's preggers.
girl meets extremely handsome man who seems too good to be true.
girl figures out that extremely handsome man IS too good to be true. she marries him anyway, has his child (who gets switched at birth, or needs a kidney, or almost dies in some bizarre way), and just before she gets put in the chipper shredder/sold off to pay mr. wonderful's gambling debts in sri lanka/has to be impregnated with alien spawn in some kind of twilight-zoney twist, she meets the less-handsome, but ever so normal and sweet and complying yard man/secret agent who's been trying to arrest her husband for 20 years/slightly retarded janitor at the hospital where her and mr. wonderful's child is being hidden.
girl is swept off her feet by mr. normal.
mr. wonderful gets sucked into the chipper-shredder in a freak accident/is finally eliminated for his sri lankan gambling debts by the sri lankan mafia/falls off his boat with frolicking with his mistress in key west and is eaten by sharks.
girl is free to marry mr. normal.
they live happily ever after in the nut hut ward of the hospital...or something like that.
i'd like to take a brief moment to point out that the likelihood of any of the scenarios actually taking place in real life is slim to none, people. i mean like one in maybe 8 billion. and there are only 6.5 billion people on the planet. thank God most of them can't get lifetime on their tv's. thank God most of the don't have tv's...but i do wish they had access to decent healthcare... Different rant...focus, must focus...
ok, so the evil that emotional porn does is this: it dumbs down relationships. it makes people doubt the authenticity of their individual experiences. it makes people feel kind of chicken-fingered (got that little adjective from esteban the boobarian) and helpless when their scenarios don't match up to the ones they see on screen, even though they know in some part of their heads that it's "not real". people on screen are always saying the perfect thing in situations, or wearing the perfect thing at events, or being the perfect hostess/ladyfriend/mother/sister/daughter/etc. and some how, we get caught up in that. we get caught up in thinking that our bodies, lives, careers, and relationships should some how match up to the screen plays that flood our minds. and sometimes, that is very destructive.
now, i'm not saying that movies are bad, or that made for tv movies are bad. not in and of themselves, anyway. i'm just saying that when we are presented with the pictures of seeming perfection on a day to day basis the way we seem to be in 2005 post 9-11 american society, we need to remind ourselves that it really is just a movie. and that our lives are really, really real, and there is not point at which we get a "take 2" on scene 5. and the way we do it, although it's broken, messy, scary, and sometimes painful, and even though our make-up slides right off at the very moment we don't want it to, it's ok. it's more than ok--it's real and it's beautiful.
that's really all i wanted to say.
thanks for reading, folks. see you soon. this time tomorrow, i will be neck-deep in the little blanco river. hooooooooray. and baby nels will be baptized on sunday. double hoooooray. i got him the best book ever. i can't wait to read it to him. life is good.
mil besos--r
here's the deal, i have noticed a particular set of social ills that i fear must be addressed if we, as a civilized society, are going to achieve any progress beyond the ipod and aluminum foil. this is almost as important as the rant about why expansion teams aren't real and it's companion rant regarding the designated hitter. however, be advised that this rant may indeed hit a bit more close to home for all of you loyal blue-platters, because it's got nothing to do with major league sports at all. no, this time it's personal. this time, it's about porn.
that's right. i said it. porn. the pernicious evil that stalks and sours our minds. and i'm not just talking about "adult entertainment". it will be addressed, don't worry, but the side of porn about which i am most concerned is the emotional porn that hollywood churns out with wild abandon, the kind of porn you can take your little sister to watch and not feel like a perv. i'm not talking about movies like "naked nurses in space", etc. no, i'm talking about movies like "shakespeare in love" (oh, it hurt to write that. such a great movie...), "the notebook", and "notting hill".
here's my problem with porn, emotional or other wise. it's not real. it's fantasy. but there are people who know that on one level (like the level of "i'm sitting in this movie and watching this happen on a screen with fantastically good looking people who i also see on the cover of "people" and "us weekly" while i'm buying milk and toilet paper at the grocery") who fail to compute it on other levels. for example, i've heard not just one or two or three or even four of my nearest and dearest comment after watching such drivel (it's very, very good drivel, albeit very, very dangerous drivel) as "the notebook" or "garden state", "i wish a boy would love me like that..." in a wistful tone with misty, glossed over eyes. and that's when i realized that i had come face to face with emotional porn junkies. women who had bought into the lie that hollywood has created-- the perfect relationship.
you know the one i'm talking about. it goes something like this on the big screen:
boy meets girl, or girl meets boy.
boy and girl hook up.
boy and or girl cheats, dies, is maimed in some horrible accident, finds out they are switched at birth, knocks someone up or gets knocked up after a wild night of partying, etc.
boy and or girl makes sobbing confession, after which all is forgiven.
boy and girl ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after with no consequences, couples' counseling, or attachment issues.
and it goes something like this on the small screen, i.e.lifetime (television for women) movies...
girl is born into some kind of either very disturbingly normal or very disturbingly disfunctional family.
girl runs off to the big city/college/new town/career prospect to escape family or to hide that she's preggers.
girl meets extremely handsome man who seems too good to be true.
girl figures out that extremely handsome man IS too good to be true. she marries him anyway, has his child (who gets switched at birth, or needs a kidney, or almost dies in some bizarre way), and just before she gets put in the chipper shredder/sold off to pay mr. wonderful's gambling debts in sri lanka/has to be impregnated with alien spawn in some kind of twilight-zoney twist, she meets the less-handsome, but ever so normal and sweet and complying yard man/secret agent who's been trying to arrest her husband for 20 years/slightly retarded janitor at the hospital where her and mr. wonderful's child is being hidden.
girl is swept off her feet by mr. normal.
mr. wonderful gets sucked into the chipper-shredder in a freak accident/is finally eliminated for his sri lankan gambling debts by the sri lankan mafia/falls off his boat with frolicking with his mistress in key west and is eaten by sharks.
girl is free to marry mr. normal.
they live happily ever after in the nut hut ward of the hospital...or something like that.
i'd like to take a brief moment to point out that the likelihood of any of the scenarios actually taking place in real life is slim to none, people. i mean like one in maybe 8 billion. and there are only 6.5 billion people on the planet. thank God most of them can't get lifetime on their tv's. thank God most of the don't have tv's...but i do wish they had access to decent healthcare... Different rant...focus, must focus...
ok, so the evil that emotional porn does is this: it dumbs down relationships. it makes people doubt the authenticity of their individual experiences. it makes people feel kind of chicken-fingered (got that little adjective from esteban the boobarian) and helpless when their scenarios don't match up to the ones they see on screen, even though they know in some part of their heads that it's "not real". people on screen are always saying the perfect thing in situations, or wearing the perfect thing at events, or being the perfect hostess/ladyfriend/mother/sister/daughter/etc. and some how, we get caught up in that. we get caught up in thinking that our bodies, lives, careers, and relationships should some how match up to the screen plays that flood our minds. and sometimes, that is very destructive.
now, i'm not saying that movies are bad, or that made for tv movies are bad. not in and of themselves, anyway. i'm just saying that when we are presented with the pictures of seeming perfection on a day to day basis the way we seem to be in 2005 post 9-11 american society, we need to remind ourselves that it really is just a movie. and that our lives are really, really real, and there is not point at which we get a "take 2" on scene 5. and the way we do it, although it's broken, messy, scary, and sometimes painful, and even though our make-up slides right off at the very moment we don't want it to, it's ok. it's more than ok--it's real and it's beautiful.
that's really all i wanted to say.
thanks for reading, folks. see you soon. this time tomorrow, i will be neck-deep in the little blanco river. hooooooooray. and baby nels will be baptized on sunday. double hoooooray. i got him the best book ever. i can't wait to read it to him. life is good.
mil besos--r
11 May 2005
fanciness and the briefest of confessions...
i am going to the ballet tomorrow, and i am so freaking excited i can't sit still. that could also be the diet coke i just pounded, but we'll stick with excitement for now. my friend kk called me yesterday with the exciting news that her non-profit had gotten some tix to see swan lake, and asked if i wanted to go. duh. i love the ballet. i love the fancy. i love bass concert hall. i love any excuse to dress up and go to a late supper and feel like a grown-up. and i do love swan lake. in fact, i've been driving by the sign everyday for two weeks wishing i were going, but a) i can't rationalize tickets to the ballet at this point in my fiscal year, and b) i don't want to go see a sad ballet by myself.
confession number 851: i am a control freak. there i said it. i have a deep and abiding need to be in control, or at least feel like i am in control. my frequently sited, but unnamed source and i had a long and drawn out conversation re: same last night. it was lots of things. see further comments...
the biggest part of my angst (i hate, hate, hate that word, btw) with job, life, etc. right now is that i don't feel like i'm the one calling the shots right now, and it makes me nuts. i know, i know, i work with junior high kids everyday, you'd think that control would not be a problem for me. like that i could just plan and execute at work, and once i got home i'd be a normal person. not the case. not the case at all. just ask my mother, who's had to deal with my control freak issues since about 5 seconds after i was born. pile my penchant for being totally self-sufficient on top of that, and you have a world class neurosis on your hands, friends and neighbors. that being said, i'd also like to say that i didn't yell at any one in traffic today. i didn't even use my horn. and i let someone buy me coffee today.
so there. now that you have this information, you must use it only for good. and you're not allowed to call me out, unless you can pair said calling out with something nice, as well. for example: "Rachel, you are spazzing out about this because you don't have total control. Git over yourself. You are a nice girl, but not all that important to the grand scheme of this particular situation. Now, let me buy you a nice chai latte--would you like soy milk or 2%?" see how easy that was?
tune in tomorrow when i try and formulate a rant to end all rants. the suspense is maddening...
mil besos-r
confession number 851: i am a control freak. there i said it. i have a deep and abiding need to be in control, or at least feel like i am in control. my frequently sited, but unnamed source and i had a long and drawn out conversation re: same last night. it was lots of things. see further comments...
the biggest part of my angst (i hate, hate, hate that word, btw) with job, life, etc. right now is that i don't feel like i'm the one calling the shots right now, and it makes me nuts. i know, i know, i work with junior high kids everyday, you'd think that control would not be a problem for me. like that i could just plan and execute at work, and once i got home i'd be a normal person. not the case. not the case at all. just ask my mother, who's had to deal with my control freak issues since about 5 seconds after i was born. pile my penchant for being totally self-sufficient on top of that, and you have a world class neurosis on your hands, friends and neighbors. that being said, i'd also like to say that i didn't yell at any one in traffic today. i didn't even use my horn. and i let someone buy me coffee today.
so there. now that you have this information, you must use it only for good. and you're not allowed to call me out, unless you can pair said calling out with something nice, as well. for example: "Rachel, you are spazzing out about this because you don't have total control. Git over yourself. You are a nice girl, but not all that important to the grand scheme of this particular situation. Now, let me buy you a nice chai latte--would you like soy milk or 2%?" see how easy that was?
tune in tomorrow when i try and formulate a rant to end all rants. the suspense is maddening...
mil besos-r
05 May 2005
you said it, man
neil young just came on the radio--- keep on rockin' in the free world.
you betcha, mister. you betcha.
you betcha, mister. you betcha.
round two, ding...
ok, i just finished with a rough draft of "everything you might need to know about the mess i made while i was working". it's six pages long. i need to go thru it and do revisions. i need to go through and do clarifications. i need to draft a companion document to explain all the acronyms, guilds, and committees that the poor idiot who comes after me will have to navigate. i'm hoping to keep the whole thing under 20 pages, but i'm not hopeful.
when i left my job in dc, i left a two-inch three ring binder, an entire zip disk, and several floppy disks worth of information for whoever came after me. it was incredible. all that whole year, i thought i had just been sending faxes, planning parties, and answering phones. putting that info together was cathartic, helpful, and uplifting. i'm hoping this will be a similar experience.
and just like andy dufresne says in the shawshank redemption, hope is a good thing--maybe the best thing.
now will someone please send me some funny email, because baby nels' mother just sent me the most depressing website i've ever seen...
mil besos--r
when i left my job in dc, i left a two-inch three ring binder, an entire zip disk, and several floppy disks worth of information for whoever came after me. it was incredible. all that whole year, i thought i had just been sending faxes, planning parties, and answering phones. putting that info together was cathartic, helpful, and uplifting. i'm hoping this will be a similar experience.
and just like andy dufresne says in the shawshank redemption, hope is a good thing--maybe the best thing.
now will someone please send me some funny email, because baby nels' mother just sent me the most depressing website i've ever seen...
mil besos--r
3,2,1 blast off!!
it's acsension day, people: a little known, but principle feast of the church, in which we celebrate Jesus blasting off into the clouds and his promise to come back and get us one day. it's a good time. i like that the germans refer to it as "christehimmelfaart". you can guess why. it's companion feast is "mariahimmelfaart", the ascension of mary (the bvm, not the girlfriend). i like that day, too. you can probably guess why, again.
so i made a mental note to myself last night at about 2am. i should not have two giant cups of coffee after 3pm. it makes for odd/not much sleep. on the other hand, it provided me with ample time to talk to the bvm's baby-daddy. that's God, in case you were wondering. i did more talking that i've done in the past. prolly should have spent more time listening, but since i was praying for rest, as well, when the urge hit, i fell right asleep. there is something nice about falling asleep while you're praying, even though you (or at least i) feel a little bit guilty for stalling out on my end of the conversation. at any rate, i feel better, even if i am a little on the sleepy side today.
i'm done for the moment. i'm sure i'll prolly post a little more later on today. i am incredibly bored at work today-- putting notes together for the next poor idiot that does my job. it's mildy interesting, but looking back at the year i've put in and the amount of actual work i have done is staggering. makes me tired to think about it, to be honest. but it makes me a little bit proud, too.
mil besos-r
so i made a mental note to myself last night at about 2am. i should not have two giant cups of coffee after 3pm. it makes for odd/not much sleep. on the other hand, it provided me with ample time to talk to the bvm's baby-daddy. that's God, in case you were wondering. i did more talking that i've done in the past. prolly should have spent more time listening, but since i was praying for rest, as well, when the urge hit, i fell right asleep. there is something nice about falling asleep while you're praying, even though you (or at least i) feel a little bit guilty for stalling out on my end of the conversation. at any rate, i feel better, even if i am a little on the sleepy side today.
i'm done for the moment. i'm sure i'll prolly post a little more later on today. i am incredibly bored at work today-- putting notes together for the next poor idiot that does my job. it's mildy interesting, but looking back at the year i've put in and the amount of actual work i have done is staggering. makes me tired to think about it, to be honest. but it makes me a little bit proud, too.
mil besos-r
04 May 2005
third time's a charm...
ok, so the headache was definately caffeine related.
hello, my name is rachel, and i am addicted to caffeine. there, i said it.
i have had two giant cups of coffee, and even though i still have allergy head, i no longer feel like i'm swimming through a pool of pancake syrup. that would be gross in real life. sick out.
i have moved on from leondard cohen-- bethy, i have no idea who taught you to be so freaking cool, kiddo, but i like to think i had something to do with it, even though i didn't. i guess you and your brother turned out fine, despite the fact that you lived in rochelle during most of your formative years, and then moved to the booming metropolis of lubbock. you must come from good stock.
at any rate, jack johnson is on the mp3 player now, so inspite of the fact that i have on a skirt and sit in an ergonmically balanced chair, i chair dancing like a maniac. thank G-d i finally got an office with a door. too bad the refrigerator lives in my office too, so people are in and out all the freaking time. oh the wonders of my job... screw it, i'm dancing anyway.
mil besos-r
hello, my name is rachel, and i am addicted to caffeine. there, i said it.
i have had two giant cups of coffee, and even though i still have allergy head, i no longer feel like i'm swimming through a pool of pancake syrup. that would be gross in real life. sick out.
i have moved on from leondard cohen-- bethy, i have no idea who taught you to be so freaking cool, kiddo, but i like to think i had something to do with it, even though i didn't. i guess you and your brother turned out fine, despite the fact that you lived in rochelle during most of your formative years, and then moved to the booming metropolis of lubbock. you must come from good stock.
at any rate, jack johnson is on the mp3 player now, so inspite of the fact that i have on a skirt and sit in an ergonmically balanced chair, i chair dancing like a maniac. thank G-d i finally got an office with a door. too bad the refrigerator lives in my office too, so people are in and out all the freaking time. oh the wonders of my job... screw it, i'm dancing anyway.
mil besos-r
since i can't think up something to say...
i'll just rip this off...
i found this a few weeks ago when i was looking for youth sunday material. it's amazing, and i wanted you guys to see it, as well...
Do not seek too much fame,
But do not seek obscurity.
Be proud.
But do not remind the world of your deeds.
Excel when you must,
But do not excel the world.
Many heroes are not yet born,
Many have already died.
To be alive to hear this song is a victory.
A Song from West Africa
i like this song for a lot of reasons, but mostly because i can just be me inside of it. there is something restful about that thought, and for today, it is enough.
mil besos--r
i found this a few weeks ago when i was looking for youth sunday material. it's amazing, and i wanted you guys to see it, as well...
Do not seek too much fame,
But do not seek obscurity.
Be proud.
But do not remind the world of your deeds.
Excel when you must,
But do not excel the world.
Many heroes are not yet born,
Many have already died.
To be alive to hear this song is a victory.
A Song from West Africa
i like this song for a lot of reasons, but mostly because i can just be me inside of it. there is something restful about that thought, and for today, it is enough.
mil besos--r
making it
that's what i'm shooting for, at this point. just making it. my allergies are killing me today. the smoke from mexico is making me feel like some serious run over poop today. i contemplated staying home today, but i knew i had a meeting at work, and some phone calls to make, and i would think about work, even if i weren't at work. so i put on my cute long red linen skirt and my favorite brown t-shirt from old navy and went to work. the meeting was good. long, but good. and now i have a headache. i probably haven't fed my caffiene beast enough today. i may go make a pot of coffee to remedy that situation shortly. like you needed to know that, but whatever.
i bought a leonard cohen cd yesterday. despite what baby nels' mother had to say about it, i am rather enjoying it. in fact, it's fairly brilliant and wonderful. lots of good lyrics, lots of good acoustic guitar. and the fact that mr. cohen's voice isn't overwhelming lets you really listen to what he's got to say. i like it. you should check it out on itunes, or something. sisters of mercy is an excellent track, as is chelsea hotel.
i wish i had something fabulous to say, but my allergy head prevents me from communicating anything profound at this point. i think i'm going to go buy some black and white disposable cameras and start snapping pictures for my bathroom graffitti book. i just have to figure out if i'm only going to shoot texas bathroom graffitti, or if i'm going to take it with me to tennesee on mission trip later this summer. it's going to mean staying pretty organized and writing down locations and exposure numbers on lots of notepads. probably also means having mini-essays about each place i stop. it may just turn into an extended blog entry, for all i know, but i have got to have a creative outlet at the moment, or my head might explode.
mil besos--r
i bought a leonard cohen cd yesterday. despite what baby nels' mother had to say about it, i am rather enjoying it. in fact, it's fairly brilliant and wonderful. lots of good lyrics, lots of good acoustic guitar. and the fact that mr. cohen's voice isn't overwhelming lets you really listen to what he's got to say. i like it. you should check it out on itunes, or something. sisters of mercy is an excellent track, as is chelsea hotel.
i wish i had something fabulous to say, but my allergy head prevents me from communicating anything profound at this point. i think i'm going to go buy some black and white disposable cameras and start snapping pictures for my bathroom graffitti book. i just have to figure out if i'm only going to shoot texas bathroom graffitti, or if i'm going to take it with me to tennesee on mission trip later this summer. it's going to mean staying pretty organized and writing down locations and exposure numbers on lots of notepads. probably also means having mini-essays about each place i stop. it may just turn into an extended blog entry, for all i know, but i have got to have a creative outlet at the moment, or my head might explode.
mil besos--r
02 May 2005
and we're back...
ok, after a two week break for r&r, i'm back on the blog-wagon. i know, i know, i promise to try and not leave you for this long with out an update ever again. think about how sad my real journal at home feels when it gets picked up after 3 months of silence on my part...
ok, ok, so the wedding was fabulous. it was a fam-fest, which was a good thing. highly entertaining is the correct wording. i also discovered the middle of nowhere. it's right on the border between mississippi and alabama, is about 250 miles long, has no cell phone service, or gas stations.
mia and archie's wedding was very nice, except for the giant woman in the little tiny bathing suit who walked by, not once but twice. seriously, why do people insist on squeezing size 24 asses into size 12 bathing suits? my uncle ed and i were talking about it, and he says "did you see that ole gal walking by? hell, it got dark for a minute, didn't it?" she was huge. and quite proud. geeze oh man. so the kids got married in the shadow of one of the largest asses i have ever personally seen. even bigger than mine. way bigger. and then we went to the party. it was very nice, as well.
along the way, i had a lot of time by myself in the car to think and listen to music. i'd like to tell you that i got a lot of things sorted out, but why would i lie? i'd like to tell you that i spent time thinking about world peace, how to eliminate world debt, and whether or not i really can spare 72 cents a day to sponsor a sally struthers kid, but why would i lie? no, i mostly thought about what good cd mixes i make, whether or not i should have packed one more pair of flip flops, if i needed a new shade of powder and concealer for the summer months, and whether or not i could rationalize getting a romance novel on tape at the next cracker barrel i passed, whether or not i will get married, which is totally relevant since i'm the last unmarried cousin of marriageable age on that side of the family, and two of the cousins on that side are already having babies with wild abandon, what names i think my soon-to-arrive niece or nephew should be called (i also called niece/nephew's parents several times to relay new and fun ideas). i also thought about why i like the beach so much, why i have trouble dealing with confrontation, and why i am feeling like poop about leaving a job i really don't like anymore.
here are some answers i came up with: 1) i do make very good cd mixes. i need to make more of them. i should do soundtracks for movies. 2) i packed the exact right amount of flip flops. i just wish i had remembered to pick up my black bamboo pair from the wedding house. goodbye cute black flip-flops. we had some good times. 3) i probably do need a new powder and concealer for the summer months, but only if i intend on maintaining a tan all summer long. 4) in order to take myself remotely seriously, i decided not to check out the romance novel on tape at cracker barrell. instead, i made myself listen to rush limbaugh and sean hannity and not swear out loud. additionally, see answer #1. 5) skip it, it's totally irrelevant. i'm fabulous regardless. 6) i am voting for stella for a girl and will for a boy. 7) i like the beach because i remember what a nice time we had as a family when i was little. 8) i have trouble dealing with confrontation because i have a horrible fear of being wrong and not being able to fix a situation. confrontation shuts me right down, so that instead of being able to effect change in a postive way, i just lay down and quit. not good, not good at all. there is much to do on that avenue of my life. i'll keep you posted. just don't pick a fight with me, ok? 9) i feel like poop about leaving because endings suck, because i know some people will be mad at me for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, or for leaving at all. i still have no idea what i'm going to be doing after july 31st, and that scares me to death and back again. i feel like poop about leaving because i know that where i work is about to go through a major transition, and i just can't be there any longer to help out. i'm just done. i can make it til july because i want to do that. because i want to finish what i started and do what i said i would do. i want to go on mission trips, because they are my favorite things in the whole wide world, and i don't want that taken away from me, or from the kids. blah.
i also had two fabulous ideas that i think will merit a marketing campaign. these are even better than give-a-shit, the vitamin supplement for people who could just care less.
1) jiffy lube should start offering a foley service for people who are going on long car trips. i could have made that trip in about 8 hours without bathroom stops.
2) i want to do a photo book (like a coffee table book) of bathroom graffiti from all over the country. it would be amazing. to whom would i pitch this idea? any takers?
that's about it. gigantic congrats to archie and mia. thanks for having me along. and gigantic thanks to pedro and inez, the official corporate sponsors of rachel's alabama adventure.
mil besos--r
ok, ok, so the wedding was fabulous. it was a fam-fest, which was a good thing. highly entertaining is the correct wording. i also discovered the middle of nowhere. it's right on the border between mississippi and alabama, is about 250 miles long, has no cell phone service, or gas stations.
mia and archie's wedding was very nice, except for the giant woman in the little tiny bathing suit who walked by, not once but twice. seriously, why do people insist on squeezing size 24 asses into size 12 bathing suits? my uncle ed and i were talking about it, and he says "did you see that ole gal walking by? hell, it got dark for a minute, didn't it?" she was huge. and quite proud. geeze oh man. so the kids got married in the shadow of one of the largest asses i have ever personally seen. even bigger than mine. way bigger. and then we went to the party. it was very nice, as well.
along the way, i had a lot of time by myself in the car to think and listen to music. i'd like to tell you that i got a lot of things sorted out, but why would i lie? i'd like to tell you that i spent time thinking about world peace, how to eliminate world debt, and whether or not i really can spare 72 cents a day to sponsor a sally struthers kid, but why would i lie? no, i mostly thought about what good cd mixes i make, whether or not i should have packed one more pair of flip flops, if i needed a new shade of powder and concealer for the summer months, and whether or not i could rationalize getting a romance novel on tape at the next cracker barrel i passed, whether or not i will get married, which is totally relevant since i'm the last unmarried cousin of marriageable age on that side of the family, and two of the cousins on that side are already having babies with wild abandon, what names i think my soon-to-arrive niece or nephew should be called (i also called niece/nephew's parents several times to relay new and fun ideas). i also thought about why i like the beach so much, why i have trouble dealing with confrontation, and why i am feeling like poop about leaving a job i really don't like anymore.
here are some answers i came up with: 1) i do make very good cd mixes. i need to make more of them. i should do soundtracks for movies. 2) i packed the exact right amount of flip flops. i just wish i had remembered to pick up my black bamboo pair from the wedding house. goodbye cute black flip-flops. we had some good times. 3) i probably do need a new powder and concealer for the summer months, but only if i intend on maintaining a tan all summer long. 4) in order to take myself remotely seriously, i decided not to check out the romance novel on tape at cracker barrell. instead, i made myself listen to rush limbaugh and sean hannity and not swear out loud. additionally, see answer #1. 5) skip it, it's totally irrelevant. i'm fabulous regardless. 6) i am voting for stella for a girl and will for a boy. 7) i like the beach because i remember what a nice time we had as a family when i was little. 8) i have trouble dealing with confrontation because i have a horrible fear of being wrong and not being able to fix a situation. confrontation shuts me right down, so that instead of being able to effect change in a postive way, i just lay down and quit. not good, not good at all. there is much to do on that avenue of my life. i'll keep you posted. just don't pick a fight with me, ok? 9) i feel like poop about leaving because endings suck, because i know some people will be mad at me for leaving too soon, for leaving too late, or for leaving at all. i still have no idea what i'm going to be doing after july 31st, and that scares me to death and back again. i feel like poop about leaving because i know that where i work is about to go through a major transition, and i just can't be there any longer to help out. i'm just done. i can make it til july because i want to do that. because i want to finish what i started and do what i said i would do. i want to go on mission trips, because they are my favorite things in the whole wide world, and i don't want that taken away from me, or from the kids. blah.
i also had two fabulous ideas that i think will merit a marketing campaign. these are even better than give-a-shit, the vitamin supplement for people who could just care less.
1) jiffy lube should start offering a foley service for people who are going on long car trips. i could have made that trip in about 8 hours without bathroom stops.
2) i want to do a photo book (like a coffee table book) of bathroom graffiti from all over the country. it would be amazing. to whom would i pitch this idea? any takers?
that's about it. gigantic congrats to archie and mia. thanks for having me along. and gigantic thanks to pedro and inez, the official corporate sponsors of rachel's alabama adventure.
mil besos--r
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